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‘Rustic chic’ in the South Downs - October 2020/2021



  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    Thanks ladies - we talked about it last night and I think we will go with 'Together with their parents, P & J invite you....'. I had debated using 'P, daughter of XXXXX' etc but I think this will seem a little too formal. My lovely mum has also started sketching out some rough designs that our designer friend can use on the invites, which I think will be really lovely and add a nice personal touch too. The only issue at the moment is that with them being based around burgundy, greenery, pine cones and candles it can easily look very Christmassy, which we don't want. I bet that's why so many similar graphics online include pink!
    Next question for you lovely lot, what info do you think is important to include on the paper invitations, and what can be left for the website? Obviously time, date, place, the website/gift list link, but what about directions/travel/hotels/detailed timings (such as, please get there half an hour before the ceremony actually starts)? We're putting detailed info on all this on the website, plus all the stuff about taxis needing to be pre-booked (the venue is out in the sticks) and not to bring confetti as we are providing petals and our venue are v strict about not using other types. But do people actually read wedding websites?? I don't want them to miss all this info if they don't, and it's not on the inviatation!
  • I was going to do a website then decided against it after I saw a few posts on here from people saying no-one used theirs and asked stupid questions anyway! We also have quite a few older guests who definitely wouldn't bother.

    We haven't even sent ours yet and quite a few guests have already booked hotels themselves anyway!

    We're putting a separate sheet in our invitations anyway with a few hotels on it and we have put 1.30pm, ceremony at 2pm for the time. We've put together with their families too.
  • CoffeeDogAddictCoffeeDogAddict Posts: 1,476 New bride
    We had a sheet with details of where to look for accommodation and things, and also had a website with more information. 

    Honestly, people havent paid attention to either. Ive had so much of "send me the link to RSVP" when it isnt a link at all, and "what time is it starting again" so there will always be some that just dont pay attention no matter what you do  :D Im happy to send over the screenshots of our invites if you want though so you can see x
  • I have quite basic hard copy invites- they include the time, address, dress code and details of how to rsvp and find more information online at our website.

    So far around 50% have rsvp’d and they have all used the website to do so, which I hope means they are also looking at the info on there (we are also having an event on the Friday evening before and Sunday morning after). However, maybe I’m about to run into problems with the other 50%!!
  • ClareBClareB Posts: 88 New bride
    I think the timings and addresses are the most important thing - personally I think it should be something you can take with you on the day that tells you where you need to be and when. We also included details of the company our wedding list is with, a link to RSVP, a wedding email address and that we'd provide transport between ceremony and reception venues as we've booked buses and really want people to use them! Of our approx 110 guests, we've had just over 50 RSVP through the website and the deadline is end of January. We've had some by email / card. A lot of those we haven't heard from are actually close family / wedding party!
  • annipooannipoo Posts: 303 New bride
    My plan is to send out invites with the date/time/place of the wedding and a note at the bottom of the invite saying see our website for more info. 

    I'm going to send out paper RSVPs so people can decide whether to send those back or respond through the website.

    I am planning on sending a link to the website to some friends/family at the end of this month (after we've had a meeting with our wedding co-ordinator to confirm some things) because there are some people that have already said they'll need to book a hotel.

    If there's information you desperately want people to know you could include an information card with your invites. I'm taking the approach that I've spent literally hours putting together a website with everything anyone might want to know about my wedding and if they can't be bothered to read it then it's not my responsibility to sort them out. 
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    Super helpful, thanks ladies. I think we are going to make our invites two pages (or double/sided?) so on the second page we can briefly touch on all the most important details we really don’t want people to miss, while also encouraging them to check out the website. Next decision - when to send them out!?
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    Also, little wedding win 🙌 one of my lovely bridesmaids gave me and J a super nice bottle of wine for Christmas, which came packaged in this little wooden case. I think it’ll be perfect to use for cards at the wedding! I always liked the idea of a vintage suitcase for that but it’s the sort of thing I feel I can’t justify spending money on so this is ideal ☺️

  • ClareBClareB Posts: 88 New bride
    We set our invites out in November and are getting married end of April - we wanted to avoid Christmas post and thought sooner rather than later was better - lots of advice says do it much closer to the wedding but I’d rather people tell us sooner if they’re not coming so we can fill their places.

    Suitcase is great - it’s ideal to reuse things you’ve got rather than buying them (H2Bs parents are repainting the post box from their other sons wedding for ours!)
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    So I think we are planning to send out our invites in April, with an end of May RSVP deadline. It seems very early, but knowing our lot most of them will have forgotten they need to book a day or two off work, so will ned plenty of time to get their ducks in a row. I've also nearly finished doing our wedding website - it's just the free one with Prezola but seems perfectly adequate so far! It was so hard to write an 'about us' section though - I've tried to go light-hearted without trying too hard to be funny (bevause I'm not very funny ha)
    In other news, we had a fabulous afternoon on Saturday at a wine tasting event at our venue. It was lovely to go down to the barns again and the weather was great too. We have said all along that we would provide our own champagne, beer and wine for the drinks reception and the meal, as we assumed that the venue's drinks options would be very expensive, but we were actually pleasantly surprised. I spent a lot of time at the fizz table, trying all their different options and although, predictably, my favourite was the most expensive champagne, there were a few other mid range options that were very nice, and super well priced! We want to provide 'unlimited' champagne for the reception, so we definitely need one that's affordable as we'll be looking at about 50 bottles.
    There were some fab reds and whites too, and the canapes were out of this world, which is very promising. I think J ate about 20 of them!
    We have also booked our second, and possibly, final planning meeting there in April, so it won't be lomg until we go back down again. I've decided that Upwaltham is my happy place - I just adore it!
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    And in even more exciting news, J and I have welcomed a new member of the family this week - Bertie, a rescue dog from Battersea 😍 We have been waiting to rescue a dog for a year now, but because we live in a flat and have my mums dog come to stay quite a lot, it’s been so hard to find one that doesn’t need a ton of space and is good with other dogs etc. We are so in love with him and I’m trying very hard not to blow the whole wedding fund on beds and tweed jackets for him 😆

  • annipooannipoo Posts: 303 New bride
    Oh - I was planning to send my invites out in April for a July wedding! I've told everyone on my side the date anyway so I suppose I'm just assuming they've already had notice of the date.

    Unlimited champagne sounds amazing (although for me that's about 2 glasses then I'm done!) just keep in mind that almost no-one will be able to taste the difference between champagne and a cheaper alternative! Also you can get sparkling wine made from the same grape variety but outside the champagne region so they should have the same taste but save you a fortune!

    Your dog is so cute! What a gorgeous wee face! Are you planning to include him in your wedding day? 
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    @annipoo ahaha I think we have quite a lot of people coming who will be the same. I just want it to feel unlimited, so people aren't stressing about how many drinks they've had. Totally agree about the champagne v sparkling wine situation - and there are some amazing sparkling wines out there! I don't want prosecco, but that's simply because it gives me a horrible headache and I don't trust myself not to drink too much of it!
    Sadly I don't think our venue allows dogs, but Bertie will definitely be featuring in our engagement/pre-wedding pics, which we're planning to have done in the summer :)
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    Oh my gosh how is it February!? I've gone from thinking we have loads of time to suddenly having a mild panic that we're behind with planning. It's my 30th birthday in a couple of weeks and what with planning events  for that and adopting Bertie our dog two weeks ago all wedding thoughts have slightly gone out of my head.
    That said, January hasn't been totally unproductive - we went down for a meeting with the lady who designed and created my engagement ring as we'd like her to do our weddding rings too. I'm going to have a plain white gold band with five little diamonds evenly spaced around it - I love the understated elegance of my e ring and I'm hoping this band will complement that. J had no idea what he wanted but he's gone for a dull white gold and a hammered effect, which was a bit more 'out there' than I expected from him! The quote for these is a couple of hundred over what we budgeted for the rings, but we're doing well in other areas so we've decided to go for it.
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    The hunt for a videographer continues too.. I'm getting twitchy about this as I feel it's the last really major vendor to book. We've been hunting for one that does footage-only as my brother is a film editor and wants to edit our video as a wedding gift. I've given up searching for videographers who offer that on their website and have just started contacting those I like to ask if they'd consider it. So far, roughly half are willing to do filming only for us, but I'm not 100% sold on the ones we have found so far, so the hunt continues...
  • AmyFSToBeAmyFSToBe Posts: 364 New bride
    Oh your rings sound lovely! How long will they take to make?
    Our videographer seems pretty relaxed so could be worth reaching out to him? It's and we've been speaking to Chris [email protected]

  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    @AmyFSToBe thanks - I'll check them out :)

  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    Another thing that we (ok, I) have started looking at is readings. I want to make our civil ceremony as personal as possible so we will be having three readings, from J's mum, my sister and one of my very good friends. We've only chosen this one so far, which will probably be my friend's one, and I really love it. It's so suited to me and J - we always joke that neither of us are each other's 'perfect' person on paper, but somewhow we just work so well together. I also feel strongly that real love is so much more than buying flowers and giving loads of compliments etc, and so this really resonates, although we might substitute guy for person in the last line.

  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    I keep remembering little things that I've done over the past few weeks and it is making me feel slightly better about not being 'behind'. I have got a quote from a lovely lady on Etsy to make us custom retro style ski prints to go on all our tables - we are naming them after ski resorts we have been to. They will look like this (in A5), and I'm planning to just buy cheap little frames for them all. This is definitely one of the expenses we didn't originally factor into the budget, but I think it's these little touches that will get people talking, and it's very us.

  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    MrsW2020 said:
    Oh I love them! You could definitely use them after the wedding and hang them up in your house as well!
    That's the plan! :)
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    So as a little Valentine's Day treat to myself I've ordered some potential wedding jewellery - I wanted to keep it classic and understated with pearls to match my engagement ring, and to not spend too much! So I'm pretty happy with these - just hope they are as lovely when they arrive as they look in the photos.
    I still need to find a bracelet. Normally I wear quite delicate chains rather than anything chunky, but I am going to need something reasonably wide to cover up the terrible tan line I will inevitably have on my left wrist from wearing my Fitbit 24/7 all summer (not an option not to wear it - I'm a serial tracker). It always looks hilarious on the rare occasion I do take it off, especially in photos. Such a rididuclous problem to have haha!

  • wow that jewellery is absolutely gorgeous! 
  • Thats beautiful! Hope you can find a nice bracelet to match, should be fairly safe with pearls if you want to carry that theme on.
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    The jewellery arrived and it is lovely, so I'm chuffed with that. Although it was my 30th this week and J bought me a gorgeous earring and necklace set that are actually quite similar! But I'll wear his for special occasions in the meantime and save the wedding bits for the day itself.
    He actually nailed my 30th - told me a few weeks ago he was taking me away for the night and so he (and the dog) whisked me away in the car that morning and I had no idea where he was taking me. Turned out he had booked us a gorgeous luxury lodge in a vineyard near the wedding venue that I had spotted after one of our trips there. We spent the afternoon doing champagne tasting, then he took me to a pub I love nearby for dinner. I would absolutely love to source our wedding fizz from there as we loved their wines, but sadly it's a little out of our price bracket. Might get just a few bottles for us to drink during the day though :smile:
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    I'm back on the bridesmaid dress hunt. I've hunted so hard online and so far I've bought two dresses to try on at home and check the colour etc, from Ever-Pretty and Chi Chi. The Ever-Pretty dress was good quality but slightly too red and also had sequins on the top which I didn't love. I have had a nightmare returning it and it's looking like I'm never going to get refunded for it, so that's put me right off ordering anything else from them. I really like the Chi Chi dress though, which is this one. But the problem is that it's selling out fast as it's now last season and I'm worried we'll end up not being able to get all the sizes we need (I have a bridesmaid in every size from 6-14).

    There's another Chi Chi dress (below) that one bridesmaid suggested - three of them love it and two don't. I like it enough and I would be very happy to have them in different dresses, but these are different lengths and materials which I think will look a bit odd. Am I overthinking it?

    To add to the whole thing, one bridesmaid is due to give birth in the next 2/3 weeks. Realistically she has no idea what her body is going to do over the next six months and I don't want to put any pressure on her, but I don't want to wait much longer to get the dresses, as now all the spring/summer collections are coming out there are going to be even fewer burgundy dresses around. I've asked her what she would prefer to do, and I've offered to buy her two different sizes so she has options, then I guess I'll have to try to sell wichever she doesn't need. Any advice? The last thing I want to do is make her feel under pressure but I also don't want to stress myself out by leaving it too late!
  • AmyFSToBeAmyFSToBe Posts: 364 New bride
    Oh your little getaway for your birthday sounds lovely! What a treat.
    That’s annoying about Ever Pretty. I hope you get the money back somehow!
    Can you try and order the first dress in the sizes just to have them, and then also order the second dress for those who like it and ask them to all come over to try on and see how it looks? Then you can either go with the mix it it looks nice, or go with the maxi one if that’s the better look and at least you have all the sizes! I personally LOVE the second dress. Also I think they would like nice together! 
    For your pregnant friend, that’s a tricky one. As they’re both reasonably flowy from the bust line down, I’d say you’re probably safe to order one size bigger than her normal (non-pregnant) size? Or order the size that fits her now (up top) and again it doesn’t matter too much if it’s a little extra flowy?
  • Personally I think different lengths of dresses would look odd! 

    My bridesmaid is pregnant and we just ordered her dress in a size bigger than she usually has. She's 6 months pregnant and it fits her now so we're fairly confident it will fit when baby is here! 

    Our dresses are from Chi Chi and they're beautiful, I definitely recommend them!
  • Pisces91Pisces91 Posts: 216 New bride
    We're burgundy too! TFNC do some nice dresses and returns are really easy as I had to change some sizes. They size small though so I'd order a size bigger than your bridesmaids are. 

    Dorothy Perkins may also have some burgundy dresses? 

    As for your pregnant BM, I'm 6 months post-birth and it's my boobs that are the problem. I'd say get a dress a couple of sizes too big. It can always be taken in by a good seamstress if she does lose the weight. 
  • MrsH2020MrsH2020 Posts: 223 New bride
    Back from a manic work trip to Qatar and realising that I acually have quite a lot to do on the wedding front this month! When we started planning J and I were doing it all together and I loved how involved he was as I hate the stereotype that the bride plans the wedding. But realistically, I'm the one who works from home and can squeeze more wedding stuff into my day, plus I'm definitely more thorough when it comes to researching (too much so actually). If J was planning it himself it would all be done by now because he would have booked pretty much the first of every vendor he looked at ha.
    But the research has paid off because we have a videographer booked - yay! I went into more detail further up on this thread but basically my big bro is a film editor/director/producer and wanted to edit our wedding film, but because he is playing a big role on the day he can't shoot it. It was SO hard to find high quality videographers who would do a footage only deal, but one of our venue's recomended videographers has agreed to do it for a good price and transfer the footage straight to my brother afterwards. She is lovely, her stuff is fantastic and we're pretty chuffed.
  • AmyFSToBeAmyFSToBe Posts: 364 New bride
    Glad you managed to find a videographer!! So nice to get that ticked off.
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