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Getting pushed away?

is it just me or are other women being forced to not have their dream wedding??

i have always thought about my wedding as a big event in a church, lots of family around us my dream dress that i have know the design of for years... yet i am having to change all my dreams so my h2b doesnt have to deal with his family in one place as they are more than likely to kill eachother. his family is very confusing.

although i do not blame my h2b for this choice i am upset and feel like i have to choose 2nd best image(

i am sure our wedding will be amazing anyhow and i do agree with my h2b that we only need us there!

i feel kind of lost about it all and dont want to upset my h2b with this all he hasenough on his plate


  • craftycharlicraftycharli Posts: 3,175
    Hey Lou

    Families are so difficult and complicated - I thought mine were actually very simple and straight forward as there aren't many of us but since we've been planning this wedding i've come to realise that my family has it's strange things and people who can't be with each other etc and so does my h2b's. We have had to make some compromises about things that we really wanted but we have also stuck by our decisions and fought things out on other things too.

    I think everyone has there dream wedding in their head but then when you meet the right person that can all have to change. It's a real shame if you've lost all sight of what your dream wedding was going to be but remember WE'RE ALL DOING IT TO DECLARE OUR LOVE FOR THE MAN STOOD NEXT TO US WE'RE THERE TO BE MARRIED THAT THAT ONE PERSON, THE OTHER PEOPLE AND THINGS WE HAVE THERE ARE AN ADDED BONUS! I would go down to the registry office today in my jeans and a t-shirt to marry my h2b cos it's about loving him and I think that shows that you're really serious about him too. Really what flowers you have and who else shares the day with you are irrelevant.

    I'm sure you'll have a great day but if there is somehting you are really set on try and get it!
  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    there is noway i will get what i want i have said time and time again that it is our day and they will have to shut up and just not talk to eachother as it isnt about them!!

    but its hard for my h2b he got thrown out his dads when he was 16 had lived on his own till he found his mum about a 2 years ago and while trying to see his sisters he has come up against a block from his dad and step mum who told him not to go to the house and then because his sisters have had his dad bad mouthing his mum all this time they hate her and now take it out on my h2b because he lives with her image( i just dont know what to say anymore im getting married abroad to please the guy i love with all my heart yet find it hard not to hate his family for making us do this, its so hard wish i could sort things out for him
  • cheryl654cheryl654 Posts: 366
    Gosh Lou, he is so lucky to have you with all of that going on in his life. As if a wedding isn't stressful enough. I would be inclined to not tell anyone my plans and leave it at that.........
  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    well i did it!! i confronted him about me not being sure about us getting married abroad and he got in a mood. hhmmm maybe i didnt do it in the best way - was ill, had day off work, watched a soppy film, was in tears, so text him n told him - oops oh well least he knows now and we are gonig to talk about it all this weekend. its not like i am totally against getting married abroad, there was just never a choice on the subject which i think got to me the most. it was more have to than want to!

    so who knows we may still get married abroad but i would rather we sat down and decided it than having the situation of family members not getting on make the decision for us! but i will keep you all posted on it
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  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    im always excited!! hehehe cant stop talking about it all and the wedding isnt planned till 2008! im going mad not being able to plan things and just keep putting things in my wedding book my mum got me image) i hope the chats go well aswell as my h2b isnt really the chatty type, i could hit him sometimes for his stubborness! but we are both taureans which im sure cant help image
  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    ok so we had 'the talk' well i say we... but i actually mean ME! all you ladies know what men are like about talking im sure, but i explained the reason why i wasnt 100% about it and he understood and we have now decided we are still having it abroad (maybe tobago now) but not because we have to but because we want to image
  • craftycharlicraftycharli Posts: 3,175
    Hey Lou I ams really glad you got it all sorted - I know exactly what you mean about blokes and talking my h2b is awful at it although is getting better at talking rather than just somping round and not telling me what is bugging him! Glad you've decided what to do and hope it all works out well! ONLY 18 days to go for me - I'M ABSOLUTELY HYPER ALREADY!!!
  • Lou_1986Lou_1986 Posts: 1,584
    wow charli i cant even imagine it being 18 days before my wedding it all seems a dream still. im glad i got it sorted aswell and we have established that h2b wants me to do ALL the arrangements hehe but not alot i can do when it is so far away image( think thats the worst bit about having it abroad, i cant do any details etc that i want to do myself but im sure il find plenty to do anyway!!
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