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Feeling a bit overwhelmed just some advice please

Hi



I know this is all daft and I can and have to walk forward and finish all the plans. ... but my bloke has never been totally excited about the wedding, or getting married. He does want to do it but like most blokes not something he thinks about alot.



On top of this we are getting married in Scotland which is 5 hours away, as he is scottish and I thought it would be fun. The problem is I just feel so alone in everything and today i am feeling a little overwhelmed. My parents are both dead, my sister lives miles away and has just had a heart attack, his family dont seem to say they will check out this and that in thelocal area and then dont. My bridesmaid has so much to do with work she cant help.

I think it got worse yesterday when a friend who is getting married exactly one month after us sent out her save the dates, and her bridesmaid finalised her hen night with us.... I just feel like I am failing with everything and sinking a little bit.



Just some advice of how to plough on really...

Posts

  • JvLwithBabyBoyJvLwithBabyBoy Posts: 2,740 New bride
    aww hun im so sorry youre struggling. you will be fine and will manage everything, so dont worry.

    i know a bit how you feel as most of my wedding planning was down to me as well. my parents live abroad as does my best friend, so no help there. we got married in what is actually my hometown but we live 2 hours away from there and i havent actually lived there since i was 12. my husband wasnt all that helpful either because he honestly didnt care what kind of flowers we had or which song to play after the vows. it does get a bit frustrating. i also suffered anxiety and panic attacks again which i hadnt done in ages.

    the only thing i can tell you is not to stress yourself out too much or let what other brides are doing get to you. its really not worth it. your day will be amazing because when it comes right down to it, on the day youll only care about your man and the people you love.

    can you go up there for a week or so and try and finalise things? thats what we did. we had a few power weekends in my hometown where we would cram thigns like visiting florists, meeting with venue, looking at cakes, make-up trial etc all into the space of 2 days. it was hard work but once things were sorted it made me feel a lot better.

    xx
  • fraggle11fraggle11 Posts: 1,683
    Its so hard not to feel overwhelmed at times i think, and you've got it much harder than me (although even those my friends and family are around they are doing absolutely nothing!).

    I have come to realsie that if you want people to do stuff, you need to tell them because they won't necessarily think of offering. And you need to chase them up, even you do feel you are giving them grief!



    If its the actual wedding tasks that are stressing you out, make a list of needs to be done in order of what you feel is most important, and then make your way through them one by one. I promise it will seem more manageable that way.



    I agree with tt2b, if you can get yourself a cheap flight amybe it would be worth spending a wknd whizzing around places that you like the look of. Check things out on the internet first tho to get an idea of what you like so you dont end up wasting time, and set up appointents to see them.



    Take a deep breath and start on your list..... i swear by them lol!!! x
  • fraggle11fraggle11 Posts: 1,683
    Btw, i think mine may actually have forgotten we are getting married in 10 months for all the interest he shows lol! He has actualy said out loud "but i thought i just needed to show up?"



    Hmmmmmm image
  • Ladies,



    Thank you so much. I know your all correct and I'm gonna pick up the phone and arrange to travel up there in a couple of weeks.



    Chin up and walk forward eh!! Lists yes I need a list and I need to focus.



    Fanks!!



  • mrsnatkinsmrsnatkins Posts: 132
    Hi Yorkybride!



    I know how difficult it is to plan a wedding from afar, I live in Cardiff and am 5 months away from my wedding in Scotland. Where in Scotland are you getting married? I found the Scottish Wedding Directory really useful and the Scottish Brides thread on here is really good for recommendations. I wholeheartedly recommend the visiting Scotland idea. I've been cramming all my planning into bursts and managed to organise the venue, photographer, dress, florist, band, piper, bridesmaids dresses and kilts in 3 visits by just making loads of appointments over a few days and really going for it (then you'll need to relax when you get home!) And don't worry about your H2B, he won't help unless you ask... it just doesn't occur to them! Mine just says "whatever you want sweetheart".

    Make a list of what you've left to do and then approach it calmly. Some of the to do lists in magazines are quite good too. And lastly, take a deep breath... it'll all come together in the end! Good luck, lovely!
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