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We both want different weddings .. conflict - advice ?

My problems seem nothing in comparisson to some of yours but I just wanted some advice.

Me and H2b seem to be at each others throats when ever we speak about the wedding for the simple reason we have very different ideas as to what we both want.

I am not fussed about the whole cake cutting first dance speaches thing - I just want a lovely meaningful ceremony then a big party. H2b wants big sit down meal speaches cake cutting first dance etc - as apparently its what people do - its how a wedding should be - To me its not - its traditionally but a wedding should be what we want it to be its about us and no one else.

Another problem arose last night in that i want to walk down the aisle alone - I have a dad and step dad but dont want to ask either of them ( long story on both sides) and my mum wont do it as she wouldnt do it for my sister last year and to be honest I would feel better going alone anyway - Ive always been strong, independant and delt with life pretty much on my own so i dont think it'd be right me walking down the aisle with anyone - the same way that i dont want to be given away as i am in my eyes no ones to give away especially as me and h2b have been together 8 years and have 3 children.

Is anyone else having problems along the same lines or does anyone have suggestions as to how we can get around it ??

Any advice welcome.


  • Hi There,

    Im the same as you dont want the formality!! Fortunately my h2b is in the same boat as me lol!! As for walking down the aisle do what you like image if you want to have someone walk with you have your children or something xxx

    I think its hard when you want different things you must compramise, think of the things that you wouldnt mind to have etc i think you can only work it out if you have a good chat xxx
  • msoniabmsoniab Posts: 131
    No real advice just wanted to say that I am in a similar sitution.

    We haven't argued over it but I was suprised at how traditional my H2b's approach to the wedding was. I always think if it is not important to me then he can have his way and vice versa.

    I am also walking down the aisle myself, I am sending my bridemaids down first though!!

    Good luck
  • GrantysMrsGrantysMrs Posts: 252
    I could go down with my 3 boys i suppose but could be very interesting as they will only be 3 6 and 8 !!

    I think he just likes the idea of seeing me come down with someone on my arm.

    If it comes down to it I would have to ask my dad over my step dad as my step dad did a speach last year at my sisters wedding - also he has another child with my mum so will no doubt give her away yet my dad only has me and my sister and she didnt ask himt o take any part in her wedding so I guess its his last chance and I do love him to bits i just never see or hear from him that often...oh I dont know - good job i have 2 years till it is here or id worry myself stupid !!
  • Woodsuk1Woodsuk1 Posts: 306 New bride
    You guys just need to sit down and find a middle ground, this should be a good time for you both not a time for bickering at the end of the day lifes too short and the improtant thing is you get married
  • Could you meet in the middle? Have a sit down meal perhaps, but dont have the first dance & cake cutting?

    I think you should have the speeches because maybe your h2b already has planned what he wants to say. He probably just wants a chance to tell everyone how you make him feel.

  • Yeah have the boys that would be lovely! and as for the speeches etc thats the man bit thats probably why he would be miffed if you left that bit out, its like his duty there lol if that makes sense xxx
  • cebpickle1cebpickle1 Posts: 6,786
    I would walk down with your boys, the eldest could take your arm. One of my friends had her step-dad walk her to the church and part way up the aisle her Dad then took over and it was her Dad that did the speech.

    What are your real objections to cutting a cake and a first dance, these can easily fit within a big party.

    We have compromised on our wedding, getting married in a church which I really don't want to but having a Christmas wedding so will have carols etc.
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