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Wrong dress

Hey ladies

I'm about 6 weeks away from my wedding. It's all been quite hard work - family fights and lots of people with different expectations. I thought going for my first dress fitting would cheer me up but when I went in today it just... wasn't. The fit is ok, but I think I've made an awful mistake with the dress.

Everyone told me not to go too over the top or dramatic so I didn't and now it looks so... drab. It's not even understated... it's just another bland ivory dress and it's totally forgettable. I'm heartbroken. My mum has bought it for me, the money means a lot and it's just so nothing. It doesn't make me look great. It doesn't make me feel great. I am so relieved I went to the fitting on my own because I had to go outside afterwards and just cry. I'm so upset and dreading the thought that everyone will hate it or just think how bland it is. Or worse that my mum will realise that she's done this lovely thing for me and I have made a stupid, stupid, wrong decision.

I spent ages over it and another dress, a bespoke Candy Anthony. I know now that I should have done tht. But it's way too late and I have wasted my mums money and I am going to not look my best on my wedding day. And I don't know how i can hide the fact that I feel like that from everyone. I feel so stupid.

I'm sorry... I don't know what I want from this but if I dont let it out somewhere I think I will pop image((((


  • Cajo2013Cajo2013 Posts: 361
    Hi Hon

    Really sorry you are feeling like this, especially so close to your wedding. Are you sure it is the dress making you feel like this or everything else that you say has been difficult in the run up?

    If it really is the dress, can you bling it up a bit? My dress is very very plain too, and I am getting a vintage brooch to put on the waist to add some sparkle, a necklace and an embellished veil (got cheap off Etsy).

    Can you tell us which dress it is so we can give you some advice or reassurance?

    Try to remember why you chose it in the first place, and remember on your wedding day, with everything else, you will look beautiful and you are marrying the man you love, so your radiance will shine through, and that is what people will notice xxx
  • The great thing about an understated dress is that you can OTT with the accessories. A glitzy waist belt (or one like Hannikins (see her report) had for her dress, beautiful). A statement necklace or a flamboyant head piece. Coloured veils look amazing against white dresses or can you wear a coloured underskirt so there is a flash of colour as you walk?

    What is your bouquet like?

    Try not to worry too much, with 6 weeks to go you can turn a blank canvas dress into a work of art that lets you shine. image
  • I completely know how you feel hun (I am feeling very similarly about my dress but I have less than 2 weeks to go!). The others are right though,you could turn it in to the dress of your dreams with some accessories/beads/sparkle - talk to the shop and see what they can suggest to help.
  • So sorry that you are not happy with your dress. However, as other girls have said, you can do a lot of dress glamming!!

    Have a look at:


    Hopefully these will give you some idea.

    Just try to remember that there was a reason you bought the dress that you did. And you can add your own bit of personality to it, by blinging it up and accessorizing!
  • Hi honey,

    Some of the most beautiful brides wear very plain dresses. The last thing you want is for everyone to be so distracted by your dress that they don't see you. Sure, it's nice for people to say "your dress looks beautiful" but so much nicer if they say "you look beautiful" - and you will because no bride can help looking beautiful on her wedding day.

    Why don't you take a bridesmaid or someone next time you try it on. And wear a veil if you can - I bet you anything you make your bridesmaid cry!
  • SLD12SLD12 Posts: 179
    So Sorry you're feeling this way. As everyone else has said you can do so much to an understated dress.

    One dress I looked at was quite plain but had a great shape, and the seamstress that the dress shop use was going to attach a thin band of sparkly material along the neck line and down the back at the sides of the corset. You could always ask at the shop if they have someone who could help you with it.

    I hope you get sorted and I'm sure you'll look amazing on your day

  • I absolutely echo what everyone else has said! To some people my dress might be very plain but I love it and am doing all sorts to it to give it different looks throughout the day! For the church I have a cathedral veil, I have a fur jacket for when I'm outside and for the wedding breakfast (when I will have taken my veil off) I have a little lace bolero. In the evening I'm changing my earrings, putting on a big blingy necklace and wearing a brooch on my hip. All these things completely change the look of the dress.

    Why not go on EBay and see if you can buy some accessorises (most sellers if you tell them you need the item urgenty they'll send it out quickly). Plus Accessorize have 25% off everything at the moment - I can email you the voucher if you like. Can you post a picture of your dress (just a generic one, it doesnt have to be you in it). Then myself and other brides on here can look for ideas for you.

    Please please don't feel upset about this - you will look absolutely incredible!!
  • Thank you all so much for this advice, I really appreciate it. Sorry it's taken me a few days to reply, I've been in denial. Today I looked at the pic of me in the dress again and I'm sorry to say I feel the same... I made the wrong choice and it's really gutting.

    FYI, the dress is Alice by Pronovias, there's lots of pics out there if you want to have a look. I'm totally taking the advice about accessories - I'm looking at some sparkly Flo & Percy hair pieces and necklaces as a start. I'm trying not to think about how much better they'd look with the Other Dress though, aaarghhh... it's really! And it's close enough now that people are saying 'you'll look lovely' and it's really dreadful thinking that when they see me they're going to think 'oh dear, we thought she'd look better' image

    @MissB2MrsB I'm so sorry that you're thinking similar thoughts. God!! The pressure!! It's insane!! Are you tempted to just jack it all in and elope to Vegas?! I'm damn close I have to tell you!! image
  • Your dress is beautiful, I like the way it gathers at the hip - perfect for a vintage style brooch to go there! You could try customising it with a wedding dress belt, you could put it underneath the bust part. You could also ask a seamstress to add beading or sparkles to your dress. I would wear a mantilla veil with it and sparkley shoes and an eye-catching bangle and of course a lovely side headband! failing all that, would the shop allow you to select another dress?
  • I can offer sympathy and ideas but firstly, that dress is STUNNING!!! It may be plain but it is amazing!!! LOVE the straps and the shape and the bodice and everything about it! WOW. I hope this doesn't come across as insincere as I hope it is encouraging and confidence boosting but seriously, that dress is amazing! Personally, I love the way that it is plain, the shape shows off for itself and I can guarantee none of your guests will think otherwise!

    However, things you can do - have you got a veil already? A lovely long one with embellishment or lace at the end would be stunning.

    Or get some sparkle added to the straps and top of the bust.

    You could add a brooch or flowery embellishment to the hip where the pleats start in the skirt which would look amazing.

    Or just a MASSIVE hairpiece image There are cheap Chinese ones on ebay!

    BUT! I don't think it needs anything because it will allow you to shine through as you are and it'll be stunning none-the-less. I do know what it's like to fall out of love with a dress, I'm on my second, but have a look at the possibilities image
  • Thank you both. It does look nice in the pics. Just doesn't work well on me. image

    Brooches and veils are a really good idea. I shall look into both ideas. Wish me luck. x
  • Eleanor! The first thing I have to say is that I honestly think your dress is stunning! It's kinda similar to mine but mine is strapless - but it similar with rouching effect

    Here's a list of all my accessorises!

    Tiara - Elle by Eden Tiaras -

    A cathedral length single tier lace and beaded edge veil (no pic online that I can find!)

    Earrings - Small ball diamante drop earrings (they're tiny)

    No necklace

    For when I'm outside -

    For the wedding breakfast -

    I honestly rarely comment on dresses on here because the majority just aren't my cup of tea (big and sparkly!) but I honestly do think you're is amazing and I'm quite jealous! This is a stupid question but does it fit well? Because that can make a huge amount of difference - maybe it needs more alterations?

    Big hugs x
  • PS - I tried a brooch with my dress to and it looks fab placed at the hip, I've just not got around to buying one yet!! Good luck!
  • Abby, that's a really lovely reply, thank you so much. Your dress is just beautiful and I love the accessories. I think I might actually get the same Coast shrug - it's a great idea! Thank you!

    The dress isn't fitted to me yet, and I know it'll make a lot of difference... it's just hard to imagine right now. I'll get there I hope xx
  • That dress is gorgeous, I'm so sorry you think it doesn't suit you though. I agree with the other girls, you have a stunning dress which is basically a blank canvas. A cathedral length veil would look stunning and some well chosen jewellery or a hairpiece too.

    However I personally don't think you need to add anything to the dress itself, just showed h2b the pic and he said it was really classy. I'm sure your h2b will think the same image x
  • P.s. I'm jealous too, it's the style I was looking for but couldn't find image
  • Ah bless you - thanks! All these lovely comments are making me think I may be projecting wedding stress onto the dress unnecessarily. Here's hopingimage x
  • I think your dress is beautiful - and it's not plain and boring at all. My goodness no. It's got a beautifully structured bodice and a gorgeous flowing skirt... also, maybe all the stress is getting to you and you are down on yourself for that reason and can't see the good, if you see what I mean? xxx
  • In hindsight, a simpler dress would have made my life a lot easier image because of the detail on mine, I had to go for quite simple jewellery. Finding a "plain"enough tiara was a nightmare. I did eventually find the perfect one but I saw so many stunning ones which would have just been over the top with my dress. Make the most of your dress because it will make picking jewellery so so much easier image
  • Your dress is so pretty! Just what I would have chosen if I had had the figure to carry it off. I know this probably doesn't help you though.

    Once it's fitted I think you will be a lot happier- a well-fitted dress does amazing things for self-esteem and as the other ladies have said, you will be able to accessorise it beautifully. Don't give up on it just yet x
  • ChardonnayChardonnay Posts: 1,761
    Ok you definitely need to wait until its fitted because that dress is simply stunning! The neckline will be very bust flattering and the gathering is gorgeous. It's so beautifully elegant that you can go to town with the accessories as the others have said....

    Try it with veil etc when you go back for a fitting and get the shop assistants to recommend all sorts of different accessories to try with it, that will give you lots of ideas. Also make sure you're wearing good undies so you feel sexy....

    Honestly, it's a jaw drop dress and I think you're right that you might be projecting wedding stress onto the dress.

    Hope you feel better next time you try it on.
  • Your dress is amazing! I completely echo what other brides have said. Go all out with accessories if you feel that it needs something extra. Must say though that a 'simple' dress will stand the test of time. In 50 years you and your children and grand children can look at your wedding pictures and say 'wow nan, I love your dress. Can I wear it when I get married'

    I had a very plain dress and bought a lace bolero to go with it. I wore my mums veil which had three layers and went on forever. I loved my final look. I bought myself some gorgeous blingy shoes too which really made me feel glam.

    I say better to be understated than look like a snow queen!

    It must be very difficult as at the moment you're not in love with it but I really think the dress has MASSIVE potential and that you will look stunning on the day. Try and take a friend to the bridal shop with you if you don't want to risk upsetting your mum. I think we often see ourselves very differently to how others do and I'm sure you will already look stunning in the dress, as it is, to everyone else who sees you.

    Best of luck Hun x
  • cm_prcm_pr Posts: 339
    It looks stunning on that bride in the Dodmoor pictures. image
  • RowenaFWRowenaFW Posts: 2,078
    Have you seen these?

  • your dress is stunning and elegant and lends itself perfectly to some sparkly jewellry. You will look radiant on the day. image
  • I don't usually post on this board but felt I had to reply to your thread and I hope you don't think I'm being insincere! I absolutely love Pronovias dresses. They are so well made and flattering and look good on everyone! A dress that doesn't fit compared to a dress that does fit are like two completely different dresses! It is going to look stunning on you, because it's a beautiful, understated dress, and when you get ready on the morning of your wedding you will feel absolutely perfect! I don't even think it needs sparkly accessories. I LOVE it with the lace-edged veil, as shown on the Pronovias website! Please post photos after your wedding day, I can't wait to see how beautiful you look image
  • Hi your dress is lovely, do you have any pictures of you in it?

    I do completely understand where your coming from though as if you look in my other topics I had the same wobbles. I felt massively underwhelmed when trying it on & i still didnt feel like it was right after the actual fitting. With 2 weeks to go I bought a new dress from another bride for £200 & loved that & thankfully managed to see the other. See how you feel after the fitting but your dress is very pretty.
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