Doesn't feel like my wedding anymore

Hi all

I thought i would just have my few minutes moan on here.

I'm due to get married in July 2012 and lately i can't wait till it's all over and i can stop being so fake to people.

I have so many different problems going on and i'm close to breaking point (i'm also a mum of a 12 year old and 15 month twins).

Where do i start...ok well my best mate and her daughter were meant to be bridesmaids but now its only her daughter as she wont come to the dress fitting/shopping with us as it is to far for her lilun to travel (she wasn't invited but we had extra hands with us if childcare was an issue). My friend told me to just pick hers out and what ever. compared to my other bridesmaids she is the tallest and most different in shape so what may suit her may not suit the others. i asked her if she wanted to be left off the hook or we could look locally for her and her attitude was that she didn't care anyway and not to be one. she then put it all over fb that she wasn't going to be my bridesmaid, she is soo upset and like it was my fault. she isn't even coming to my hen do's (one for over 18s and girls night in for the younger ones with lots of pampering etc).

this is breaking my heart as she is meant to be my best bud.

I have the normal family issues of if so and so is coming then i'm not and oh can my mate and etc come along from many of our siblings.

My youngest sister is my chief bridesmaid and im regretting that big time as she has told me exactly what she will and wont wear and why hasnt she been more involved in doing wedding stuff (im a stay at home mum and very hands on so no extra help needed).

She is telling me what type of hen do im having for the night away one when its nothing that i want, will be lots of her mates and just rarh!!!

Due to my parents being divorced i have no family home to get ready at or leave from (other half is having our sons night before at family the night before). Huge fights over that and i am now stopping at the venue the night before and simply walking into the ceremony room. i was looking forward to the whole arrival in a vintage car so thats now not going to happen.

I also wanted a small beech wedding but due to older family members wanting to be there and what my other half wants i am doing this whole big day for him and i wish family members would back off and see that.

Our save the dates...omg! Because its the year of the olympics my h2b step mum has designed the cards (she is doing all the stationary and i have had no say in that). our save the dates have the olympic rings on them and the start date of the opening ceremony thing then ours about our wedding date underneath. looks soo tacky but they have now been printed and are being sent out.

There are many many other things going on but i think for who ever is reading this will be nearly asleep by now so i will finish off here.

Ladies help! Support and cry with me. I dont want to be a bridezilla but i may turn into a nervous wreak soon x


  • thank you it does help, i have just got to that point today that i needed to vent out and hearing from others and advice is brilliant thank you.

    oh and the friend is 36 so you were right.

    h2b is getting as stressed out as i am. he is about to snap as he is working 2 jobs to pay for this wedding and we are paying for all dresses shoes etc.

    my sister is younger but she has to let go of what she wants as to what i would like and she doesnt grasp that. she is very feisty and hard to stand up to.

    good thing out of all this is that my mum and me are finally becoming close so every cloud etc x
  • That sounds awful and they should realise that this is your day and you should be choosing what you want even if they help make it/plan it etc.

    I think your friend especially is sounding very shelfish and isn't really a very good friend to you! Could you talk to her and explain how it makes you feel?

    I can definitely identify with the big day being overwhelming and not necessarily what you would want. Mine is very similar! Hope it calms down for you get the things you want.
  • I don't have much to add but I totally agree with the other ladies and I really hope things get better for you soon x
  • im gonna cry now, everyone is digging, interfering and causing problems.

    my youngest sister was chief bridesmaid and after her telling my h2b and me that she is inviting her mates to the evening (not even asking if thats ok which it isnt due to numbers) and then calling us bad parents to our 15 month twins and 12 year old over their diet and other stuff, i thought that i didnt need her as chief bridesmaid anyway as i can sort that stuff out myself as in her words 'dont do anything or even work'.

    how dare she, i dont need this right now as im also an egg donor and in a few weeks im going for treatment i can help a childless couple. i need to be a lil less stressed.

    it seems like my older bridesmaids are dropping like flies (not that i care too much as the younger ones are more special to me).

    i then have my divorced parents fighting as my dad has an issue with helping money wise (yet he is building my youngest sister a summer house as she doesnt get on with his russian wife and she has also lost him 40k due to messing up the business he helped her get as she took too many holidays...sorry having a rant).

    my mum feels that cos she is putting some money in that she has a right to dictate who is coming to the day, what menu and wines, our friends who can and cant come, i have had enough.

    then my dad doesnt even care that im getting married, he isnt interested in his role or anything when i try to talk to him.

    i soo wish i wasnt getting married in the uk, i really really want to run away now and just have my h2b and our 3 sons at the wedding.

    i could talk to his family as they are not an issue but im trying to not get too many people involved.

    i cant cope anymore and i hate having to wear this fake smile all the time image
  • thanks. every day im in tears about it all, its meant to be my last christmas as an unmarried woman and even thats getting messed up by my bully of a younger sister.

    h2b is going to talk to my mum tonight as im loosing it and have talked about walking away from here. i am trying so hard and i cant give anymore what with everyone else on the take x
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