None of my family are excited about me getting married!

Ok so need to have a rant. My family (all except two aunties) are showing no enthusiasm about my wedding really starting to get me down. They've always got on with my h2b so no issues there. Ever since I got engaged and started planning they just don't want to know. They're not bothered about dresses, venues or anything I try and bring the topic up but they never ask how it's going or if they can help. I have two aunties and my dad who are great but the rest of my family don't want to know but i bet they moan about every detail on the day! anyone else have this problem? X

Posts

  • MRMRS2014MRMRS2014 Posts: 1,279
    Hi I know exactly how you feel. My family are not really interested. I, like you, bring it up in conversation but they never ask how the plans are going, my mum doesn't even really want to go dress shopping with me which upset me bait, she did agree to come and look at my dress once I have decided! I think the problem is my parents have never bothered getting married and just see it as 'a waste of time and money just for a piece of paper'. H2bs family are excited though so get to talk weddings more with them. I think maybe when we get a bit closer to our wedding day my parents might be bait more interested, but we will see. I suppose in a way we should be great full our parents are not trying to turn our day into there's and demanding things, it would just be nice for them to take an interest and be happy for us. Sorry for rambling on just wanted to let you know you are not the only one. xx
  • Im also experiencing the same. Both my sister & brother got married, 2 weeks apart, 8 yrs ago. Both had huge white weddings all the trimmings..the costing was HUGE!! I helped them both out, running around with/for them...even organising & paying for extras on my sisters Hen Night. Now its my turn...silence! All thats missing is tumble weed lol. Although we are getting married abroad, have most things coverd, no-one have asked either 'How things are coming along', have i decided on my dress. How are plans for our 'Return home Party' ? Invites, cake, etc, their lasck of enthusiasm has me stumped, we all get along like a dream, but i just dont get their lack of enthusiasmimage

  • One thing I learned very quickly when I started to plan the wedding is that people love to moan!

    I also came to recognise that 'look' when people have ha enough or don't want to talk about the wedding...

    I am excited! It's a big day! Of course we are going to want to share this with our family and friends! One of my friends sarcastically said 'you're not getting married are you?'

    That hurt.

    But everyone on here always keeps me positive and excited about the wedding as we are all in the same boat!

    Hope they cheer up! And if they don't- well- ignore them. It's your lovely day x
  • Rhi-17Rhi-17 Posts: 99
    Thank god I'm not the only one! Really hurts sometimes like when I try and do nice things for my family as well. For example I said to my nan she could take one of our table centrepieces home with her on the day - these centrepieces are costing us ??40 each! And I didn't even get a smile or a thank you so tempted to keep them and decorate my own house with them! X
  • I read a similar post to this before and saw some very good advice. I think that we have to remember that to us, our weddings are the most important things right now! No matter how far away, we are always going to be super excited! It is disappointing when family don't want to hear about everything we want to share, but to them our weddings are still a long time away... So don't get disheartened. The closer the wedding comes, the more involved they will want to be!

    And in the meantime; that's what we're here for ladies! We want to know all the little details!! image

  • My family are the same! Especially my mum, who I really wanted to share the experience with. She can't even find the time for a coffee or to look at some wedding mags with me, let alone anything else. The rest are just as bad lol, so that's the main reason I'm not having a big do and am just focusing on close friends and me n fiance. I love my family very much, but I know I'll be disappointed if I put too much expectation on them to be a certain way with me, now or on the day. So they can be how they will be - me and my man will enjoy it no matter what! 

  • I know the feeling...you're not on your own. My sister unfortunately split with her husband just before Christmas so my parents was completely distraught by that. So now I get comments like "make sure this one lasts" and "just don't do what your sister did". It did really upset me, but I decided to have a very serious chat with them and explain how they were making me feel about my amazing big day (which I am ecstatic about) They were really good, and have perked up - they have a wobble here and again but they soon realised what they're doing when I suddenly stop talking about the wedding.



    Try having a talk with them? You never know - it may help!
  • I'm exactly the same here image it's quite embarrassing as my parents are known to be well off and haven't offered any help at all! I am working every hour I can to pay for everything as well as my h2b and people ask why they aren't helping us out .... I'm exhausted as we also have 2 toddlers but ill know we did it ourselves in the end I suppose
  • MrsS2beMrsS2be Posts: 279

    my family were less interested until now (i get married in nov) my mum was always interested but seemed a bit bored when i was talking about it today. i talk about it loads and that is because  it interests me, but we do have to remember its not as interesting to everyone else! x 

  • Its heartbreaking. My mom isn't interested,my dad never asks, my sisters either have some uncomfortable comment to make or brush me off when I ask them what are they wearing. My brother in law( sister's husband) was rude to my fiance in the second meeting. I've just found an anchor and love in my fiance after two whole years of hardships whichbinclwhic takijt care of my father when he was suffering cancer singlehandedly until he was cured completely. My sisters didn't help at all and now this behaviour. There's nothing wrong with my fiance, he tries to comfort me and his family is so excited but he does wonder at times how my family is and it breaks my heart. It's a tough place to be in

  • And this is why wedding forums were created! This is the most exciting (& most expensive day of your life) and you will spend months and months and MONTHS planning every little detail & placement to make it perfect! But honestly, unless you find someone else planning, nobody is going to be hugely interested about the personalised napkins you've bought 3 month before the big day (seriously though, I love my napkins, why dont people want to see?! ). Its just a lovely day out for everyone else, family included. They might get excited a few weeks before but honestly dont expect any more from them, or be upset by it! It's normal, think of every wedding you've ever been to, have you even shown 10% of the interest you're expecting people should be showing at this point? Don't mean this to sound rude if thats how it comes off, but people get so caught up in things like this and get hurt and this is how families fall out. Enjoy it yourself, find a friend in a similar position who will be willing to go in to super detail with you. Plenty other things to get wound up about closer to the time!

  • 100% know the feeling. one of the best things someone ever told me is "no one will ever care about your wedding as much as you do" and when you really get your head around it it can help. 
    My family fully couldnt give a rats ass about my wedding, but i come here, and other forums, and i know everyone will be as excited and happy for me as i am for myself and thats enough i think. Find yourself a lovely little community, maybe start a planning thread as its a great way to help people get to know you, and to bounce ideas around with others who get it. 

    i dont have many friends, but i always feel valued when i come on here and everyones so kind and helpful <3

  • MrsCToBeeMrsCToBee Posts: 2,938 New bride

    No one in our families gives a monkey's about our wedding - which annoys me as I didn't even want the big wedding, OH and MIL did! My fiancé doesn't even have much interest in a lot of the details - it really makes me wonder why I'm bothering a lot of the time. That's why I'm quite active on here :)

  • Zombie thread 

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