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Money and mother issues, what would you do?

Hello brides, I need some advice on how to deal with a difficult situation. Me and H2B are paying for our wedding ourselves, not once have we asked for financial support from our families nor has it been offered (despite my family being well-off). I mention this because we were struggling to pay for the wedding we originally wanted. My mother hasn't been particularly bothered about our wedding plans which surprised me as she loves H2B but I told her recently that due to mounting costs we are going to downscale our big day in order to make it affordable without putting it back. Close family and friends in our lovely local registry office and a nice reception afterwards. She has hit the roof, furious that I'm planning a small wedding, saying it's no way to start married life and I'm being ridiculous and acting desperate (she thinks I should wait longer and save up more) but after 7 years I am desperate to marry my man and I don't really want to wait! Why not have a beautiful day with our nearest and dearest, we're paying for it ourselves so surely it's our choice? I cannot see her coming round, I know what she's like, our relationship is strained at the best of times. Any wise words for me?


  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253

    have the wedding you want, not because youre paying fr it but because you could regret aspex (thinking of things my mum has said during my planning). if you dont want to wait and would rather downscale your day then go for it, youll still be marrying your man and that seems to be your main focus which really is THE BEST way to start married life!

  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848
    A wedding is essentially about getting married, not about how many people you invite or how much you spend

    Stick with your plans, your mum is being crazy and materialistic, why wait when you can have a lovely, smaller day
  • im with the other girls, im struggling to settle on a venue and guilt tripping myself over money and ppl who arent invited and all I can think is..I just want to marry him, why all the fuss!! you do whatever you want! starting married life stressed or in debr is no way to start! x
  • Thanks girls you've made me feel loads better!!
  • bumbeebumbee Posts: 41

    Same here that is why we have decided to go abroad with just me h2b & our 2 children then maybe have a party when we get back.After all its our day nobody elses.What ever you choose have a lovely dayimage

  • It's your day your choice. My mum is annoying me at the min because I want one wedding carvfor just me and my dad and bridesmaids go in normal car but she's kicked off saying bridesmaids go in wedding car. I've told her I'm paying for it and I can't afford a seven seater. She still argues it, it's like she doesn't understand I don't have all the money in the world! Them she thinks I should get a spray tan but I'm not comfortable with it so from now on I'm keeping quiet about it, it's the best way
  • RinaGeeRinaGee Posts: 751
    wenchy wrote (see)
    Subtlety isn't my strong point however I'd go with - suck it up, it's our day and its the way we want it, if you want something different renew your own vows! Xx

    I am totally stealing this next time anyone has anything to say about my wedding!!

  • Tigso, book the bridesmaids a regular 7 seat taxi and don't tell your mum what you've booked. If you're paying it's up to you not her. No-one will see what they arrive in anyway as will all be sat down by the time they arrive for the ceremony!

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