grrr!!

Just need to rant! 

we are getting married in cuba 2015...so this evening, i asked H2B sister to be bridesmaid...got a little card for her, gave it to her and all i got was thats a nice card!!

 

i am so upset!! she always seems jealous of me and never happy for me! even when we got engaged you could tell she really didnt want to say congrats!! 

i know i asked really far in advance but obviously wanted to give her enough notice to save etc! when we mentioned before that we were going to get married abroad she said  oh i dont no if ill be able to come! im not being rude or anything but there is no reason as to why she wouldnt be able to come! she works full time and still lives at home...has pretty much nothing to pay out for! i think she is just trying to be awkward!

if i was asked to be bridesmaid i would be so happy and not just say "nice card!" 

ARGHHHHH!! make me wish i didnt ask her! and asked someone who would be more grateful!! but if i didnt ask her then she probably would have kicked off like always!!

 

am i just being really silly?!!!

Posts

  • NowMrsMackNowMrsMack Posts: 2,535
    Youre not being silly!



    H2B's sister only agreed to be our BM if we went out and got her a McDonalds!!



    She's been a pain in the arse the entire time and if H2B didn't want her to be part of it so much I'd never ever have asked her!!
  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    i am glad its not just mine!!

    i am dreading if she does eventually say yes!! i know shes not going to be happy with anything!! 

    why do some people have to be such hard work image xxx

  • NowMrsMackNowMrsMack Posts: 2,535
    I know image all I want is for her to stick the dress on and smile on the day. I've not asked her to do one thing and still won't. Yet she won't even speak to me. Like not even a word.



    Sometimes weddings bring the worst out in people!
  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    Hmm, I'm in two minds... yes, it would've been nice for her to say more than, 'nice card' but I don't think it's fair to complain when she said upfront that if you get married abroad she might not be able to come.

    Cuba isn't going to be cheap, and even for a wedding abroad somehere closer/cheaper you can't expect people to definitely come, no matter how much notice you give them, no matter what their financial cicumstances may or may not be, you just can't make someone choose to save their money and use their holidays, it's just one of those things you have to accept if you decide to have a wedding outside of the UK

    I'm not sure how her reaction makes her jealous? But maybe there's more to it?

     

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    yeah and then you will be worrying about what she is going to be like on the day! like i said above i would be so happy to be bridesmaid for someone and if i really didnt wanna do it i would just say no thanks! 

    heliganeden- i completely understand it isnt going to be cheap which is why we have given everyone enough notice! and yes she did say she might not be able to come but she said it in a way like she was just being awkward like with everything else! and because she cant be happy for us for some unknown reason?! everything we do she always has to put a downer on it image 

    i didnt say her reaction made her seem jealous- just everything else over the last 5 years she has been jealous of! 

  • sophx wrote (see)

    ...but she said it in a way like she was just being awkward like with everything else! 

     just everything else over the last 5 years she has been jealous of! 

    Forgive me, but it doesn't even seem like you have much of a positive impression of her. Maybe you should think about why you would really like her to be your bridesmaid. Just a passing thought, I don't mean to offend in any way. 

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    because she is H2B's sister! and if we didnt ask her there would have been even more fireworks image 

  • I totally feel for you as I have similar issues with my OH sister and we chose her as bridesmaid(before any one starts on that one) as it's as much my OH day as it's mine and he really wanted her to be so I agreed as I knew it would make him happy but after only 6 months planning and 15 months to go my OH is having doubts too but like I've said to him it's one day and they're will be that much going on I don't think we will have time to worry about her on the day and I know deep down as awkward as she is being abd will get she won't spoil the day as she's just a pain in the backside not evil. Good luck with it all hun image
  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    heliganeden- i completely understand it isnt going to be cheap which is why we have given everyone enough notice!

     

    Yes, it's great you've given people notice, but that still doesn't mean all your guests will be able to/decide to go - just don't get upset thinking that because you've told people now that everyone will go.

    No matter what you think they should be able to afford - they might not want to spend their money on going to the place you've chosen, they might not want to use their holidays, they might have other long term plans to pay for, loads of reasons

    It's actually fairer of her to say upfront she might not make it - better than saying yeah 100% I'll be there and then let you down closer to the time

    On the jealousy thing, thats's why I said there must be more to it, which there obviously is

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009
    Thanks mrsthompson2b! Hope everything goes ok for you too!!



    Just had a text to say thanks for invite will try to be there!

    Xxx
  • Well that's a definite step in the right direction isn't it hun image
  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009
    Yes image xxx
  • She sounds more positive now, thats good. But i agree what heliganeden said, i got invited to a wedding a couple of years ago which was aboard, cyrpus i think but i would of had to use a weeks holiday and spend £600 on flights and accomodation plus extras on food and drink for a week. I got told by my friend that i was jealous and how could i not afford it as i didnt have anything going on in my life. I had a mortage to pay for (which is slightly different in her situation) costs of running a car, birthday presents and a loan to pay off etc.

    All im trying to say is she could have issues with money etc. But i agree that the why she opened the card wasn't good. This is one of the reasons i didnt ask hubbys sister to be my bridesmaid.

    I hope it works out for you. x

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