mini meltdown.....already!!!

Hi dont really know what to say as i feel as if i am being silly but everything seems to annoying me to do with the wedding as of late! My OH just lost his job so that is a worry and also he has been married before and is being sooooo laid back about everything (which is good in one sense) but he hasnt looked at suits yet(we get married september) weve had endless trouble getting a dj sorted,my OHs daughter who is my chief bridesmaid thinks its her wedding and keeps telling me how we should have our hair/make up and she wants to wear a head dress like mine (no chance lol!) trying to organise a hen do that will suit everyone (impossible!) and now frightened of upsetting mum and mother in law to be because we wanted to pay for the wedding ourselves but because of OH losing his job they are offering to pay fpr things which is nice i know and sholdnt complain but i feel awful and a bit of a charity case if i let them!!!! Fed up but rant over now has anyone else had similar issues?xx


  • nats2013nats2013 Posts: 6,253

    wow breath for a minute! youve got sooo much on your plate right now. one thing at a time.


    in terms on money perhaps you mums just want to see you both have your perfect day. loads of people on here have their weddings paid for and dont bat an eye lid, how you feel is just testimony to how gracious you are. talk to them about it


    make a list of all the things that still need doing and when is best to do them. its not all got to be done straight away remember. im july and still have none of the finer details sorted but you get there in the end


    men are useless, take him out and make him look


    its your hen do its supposed to please you, your guests are supposed to be there for YOU

  • Wife2b13Wife2b13 Posts: 166

    I feel somewhat similar! My OH is very laid back, unlike me who is a little stress head! feel like Im trying to please everyone .... all the time! Get sick of looking at how much its costing us, how much more I need to work in order to pay for it! (I have the option of overtime unlike H2B). Not to mention my friends also being awkward.... and then my so called best friend went and got married Friday and never told me and then I was the last one to find out - on Saturday! Hmmpptt! I have the right hump with most things weddingy right now! xxx

  • LeaBLeaB Posts: 1,706
    I kind of know how you feel about the mum thing, we went round to my mum and dads on Saturday and my mum said to us me and your dad are going to come and have a chat to you about paying for the wedding. They are already buying my dress ??1250 so that's enough. We have worked out that we can save enough to pay for it ourselves, I was a pretty expensive child growing up so don't expect my parents to pay for my wedding but mum just keeps saying its our daughters wedding we can't expect you to pay for it all.... Yes you can it's our wedding! I don't want to sound rude but don't know how to tell her no. Think I may have to have a sneaky word with my dad to pretend he's paying but he's not! X
  • Hi Melons,

    I kind of know you feel!  I'm currently off work sick where I think everything has got on top of me and I feel so run down.  My H2B has also been married before and he is a very laid back person so I have often got the hump if he isn't showing any interest!  But then I have to remind myself that it isn't like me and I have been planning FOR WEEKS the bloody invites, whereas he'd just happily buy some off the internet, I want to hand make them so they are more personal.  I have pretty much organised everything, I have given H2B wedding transport to sort....and he has researched it, but nothing is booked!!!

    I think Nats has given some great advice, and in the end that is what I did; I wrote down everything that I need to do and it did help.  We are getting married Sept also, and only did the suits weekend just gone, so you still have time so don't worry image Our suit shop said we had until June to sort it so don't panic. 

    The daughter sounds a pain and def shouldn't be wearing a head dress like yours!!!  How old is she?!  Maybe she is just excited and wants to get involved?

    My sister, who is bridesmaid, I don't get on with and has shown no interest in the wedding what so ever so I have that on my mind too wondering why I am even having her as bridesmaid in the first place!!

    It is a shame that Weddings always come with stress, but that is family politics for you! 

    Hope you manage to sort things, and remember to breathe and relax image xx

  • Relax and enjoy the planning melons1216. It's not just about the one big day the planning should be savoured too (it lasts far longer)!

    When things don't go to plan don't fret. Once you have the majors booked (venue, church, caterers ...) the rest is far more flexible. The more you stress the bigger deal even the smallest stuff will feel.

    Kick back and watch a few episodes of DTTB. Whatever your wedding ends up like, however far from what you dreamed it would be, it (almost) always turns out to be the best day of your life. And when that one big day is over you've got a life ahead with the man of your dreams AND your family.

    It's absolutely NOT worth falling out with the people you love (whether you like them or not is at times highly debatable). It won't kill anyone if you just grin and bare and ignore advice you don't agree with.

    Your OH's suit not being in the bag 6 months before the day is nothing to worry about. 59 days til my wedding and I'm still looking for BMs dresses. Am I fretting? Not yet. Give me a couple more weeks and I might be but for now ... I've got plenty of time.
  • It will all work out, just take a break from planning for a few weeks.

    As Nats said your mums just want you to be able to have your perfect day. Have a chat with them, if there are things you want for the wedding but you don't want to feel uncomfortable about it, then perhaps agree they buy x or y for the wedding instead of a birthday or christmas present this year. You might be more comfortable with it?

    We are also getting married in September and my boy hasn't looked at suits either image

    It'll be ok x
  • Brilliant thanks for all yor advice i feel a lot better just getting it off my chest! m rs W to be i think his daughter is just excited and its nice that she is but sometimes i think she forgets she is 21 and im 40 lol! just gonna try and chill for a bit and write a little list it probably wint seem as bad once its on paper September do you get married pinkandpearls Im the 14th! 

  • Glad you feel better image

    As you say she is probably just excited, but even at 21 she should know better that she won't be wearing the same head dress as yourself!

    Mrs D2b gave great advice... Think I need to take a leaf out of her chilled out book too!! lol xx
  • I know i call my OH for being so laid back but to be honest i wish i was more like that instead of a stresshead cos it just makes me sleepless and then i end up with bags under my eyes an look like crap lol!!! x good luck with all your planning sounds lik your doing great so far! x

  • oh2bmrsjoh2bmrsj Posts: 569

    thats men for you , i woudnt worry too much hun , my oh hasnt looked at suits etiher , we get married july !

  • I can totally empathise with this.  I had a meltdown the other week - this is meant to be the happiest year of my life but I was letting it all get on top of me.  Plus worrying too much about keeping other people happy - but at the end of the day you have to put you and hubby to be first!  Wedding planning is very overwhelming (not helped by the ton of choice out there!).  I agree - take one step at a time - tackle each job separately otherwise it can get too much.  Plus ask for help - you'd be surprised how many people are willing (happy!) to get involved - so don't go it alone!    I also saw a quote in a wedding magazine that I have stuck to my fridge to keep in mind:

    Don't get too caught up with all the details. at the end of the day if you get married to your soulmate and your friends and family are there what more do you need?

  • i like hat a lot and couldnt be more true!!!!

  • If it makes you feel any calmer, we get married in 5 weeks and 2 days and still have to:

    Buy/hire grooms suit and best man's suit,

    Have my final dress fitting,

    Order/buy wedding rings,

    Order/buy wedding cake,

    Make orders of service,

    Decide on music during ceremony,

    Give photographer list of pics would like,

    Get licence from Diocese for getting married outside of parish,

    and lots more!

    But I'm not stressed. If they can do the whole thing on DTTB in 3 weeks we have tons of time image

  • Wife2b13Wife2b13 Posts: 166

    Gloucestershirebride - that makes me image I feel less stressed reading that! LOL xx

  • My daughter gets married 2 weeks on saturday and bridesmaid dress not finished and I am sooooooooooooooooooooo tired it will be done tomorrow in between going to SW group and training session for work on my day off, walking the dog  hellllpppp !!

  • Wife2b13 - you're welcome! image

  • well update now! H2b had some casual work for last couple of weeks and is hoping that something will come of his CV that he has given in to a job so fingers crossed!!! the bridesmaid problem is sorted and i have decided on my hen do and given everyone a date to reply and send deposits and we are going to have a chat next sunday with the guy we are hoping will be the DJ at our wedding so getting there now hopefully.......had a bit of a breather since last posting as i have been full of a chest infection so trying to take it a bit easier as everyone keeps telling me it probably stress related lol!!!!

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