Mum not excited about wedding!

I thought this was supposed to be one of the most exciting times of my life but it's constantly being dragged down by my mum. She's a huge pessimist, everything is a hassle, always a big deal (in a bad way) She's going through a lot I admit, our family dog died last year - she was hugely attached to her. My sister also separated from her husband before Christmas and has moved back in with my parents. I am trying to be understanding but I'm so miserable because I'm not getting any support from her, and she's just not excited for me. My sister even said that my mum has said to her 'I just can't get excited about it' I just don't know what to do!! Please help - your advice is hugely appreciated.


  • Unfortunately hun some people just don't get excited about weddings

    My mom isn't that overly bothered,even more so since they loved 200miles away, but the only time she was really bothered was when she was dragging me round shops looking for her dress for the wedding

    After once spending 3 hours in debenhams looking at various dresses, I told her I needed to pop to a dress shop about something and she said oh right ok well I'm going to go home then!

    You'll learn that people just aren't bothered about weddings as much as we are regardless of who they are hun
  • NowMrsB2012NowMrsB2012 Posts: 4,835

    Concentrate on those around you who are excited! You may find she gets more excited as it gets closer x

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009
    I know exactly how you feel!! My mum is really excited but seems like no one else is!! Especially on OHs side! And it's starting to get me down!! Just keep feeling like no one can be happy for us!!

    I just want to shake them and say be happy for us it's only going to happen once!!xxx
  • RinaGeeRinaGee Posts: 751

    I showed my Mum a picture of my wedding dress, she said "oh that's beautiful" and then changed the subject. I've had more excitement from work colleagues/OH's family/total strangers than my Mum.

    I know she doesn't really do weddings and hates the whole 'centre of attention' thing but it is really starting to upset me. Luckily OH's family are all ridonk excited or else I'd have no one to chat to! (apart from everyone on here of course.....)

  • I'm glad I'm not the only one. I just feel like I can't talk to her about any of it so I avoid the subject as much as possible. Which, I really don't want to do because I'm so excited, but I feel I have no other choice.

    It's such a shame as I wish she could be just as excited as me.
  • NowMrsMackNowMrsMack Posts: 2,535

    My Mum was very much like this in the early days of the planning - but more so because she didn't agree with me getting married at the age I am. Now we're in the wedding year she's definitely more interested - not like how you see in films where they want to be part of everything, but she's asking more questions and paying a general interest in what we're planning. 

    It is crappy though as I imagined planning my wedding would be like what you see in films - all the family excited, parents getting involved, friends super enthusiastic - in fact, its been very underwhelming and slightly disappointing at some points!! 

  • LL1810LL1810 Posts: 417

    Hi Lucy, I can sympathise.  My mum was and is exactly the same.  To start with she wasn't at all interested and now she seems to put a negative spin on everything.  Some things she does like and she chose my wedding dress which was nice but everything else she makes out to sound like a big chore.  My mum lost her parents a few years ago and she still hasn't come to terms with it properly which is having an impact I think. 

    What I think will happen, and it will be the same for you, is that on the wedding day and hopefully the last few weeks leading up to the wedding, it will dawn on her and she'll suddenly start taking an interest and getting excited about it.

    It's so difficult but she will come around and I'm sure all of your friends are excited for you. X

  • MrsMack2be.... You're so true.

    I suppose I expected too much. It's a big eye opener really. I'm such a romantic and felt it would be a bit like the films but I really didn't expect this unenthusiastic nature from people.
  • Thanks LL1810 - I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents. It such a tough thing to deal with. I suppose as brides we have to find a balance of being an excitable bride but also being supportive of others because the world doesn't stop when we're getting married. However, I'm sure, we'd all like the world to feel excited for us!
  • LL1810LL1810 Posts: 417

    Of course we would lol and you deserve it, it's your wedding day!  I do think they come around though.  About a year ago (i have been planning forever), I plucked up the courage to just ask her why she wasn't bothered about anything. Literally just casually dropped it into the conversation and it took her aback I think because she hadn't realised she was acting that way.  So it's probably worth bringing it up if you can, especially as it won't be intentional on her part and might make her think about things.

    Thanks hun, losing family members is a very hard thing to go through but even more reason for you to celebrate the good times!

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