Disappointed by my Hen Night


Just need a little space to rant and perhaps some reassurance that other people have had similar experiences on their hen nights. I think I may have 'new years eve syndrome' - by which I mean I loaded up the expectation for the night which was not reached.

I organised the day at a spa in a nearby hotel. It was fantastic and the girls treated me to a facial which was lovely of them. This set the tone and I thought I was in for a great day. However we over ran due to the BM who organised it having loads of treatments so when we got back to mine to get ready we only had an hour and a half....

An hour and a half later and my house was trashed and I was not ready due to fixing drinks and helping source straighteners, hair grips, bags etc for everyone. I then realised that only my mum had brought me something to dress me up. I had said to the BM before to just re-use the stuff she had upstairs from her hen (which I organised and was epic) - and she agreed, but alas no hen night regalia for me. In the end we took the 'hen night' bunting I had put up in the house down and decorated me with that. By the time we left the house, I had not drunk a single drink and the posh partybags I had put together were largely untouched.

We then got in to town and people were unhappy about the BM's choice of restaurent and the fact that there was a service charge. People whinged about the food and about the wine I had bought for the table. We then left the restaurent and, despite saying to the BM previously that I wanted her to plan where we would be going, she had no clue what to do. After 2 truely awful places (one where someoneput their hand fully up my mums skirt) we ended up in walkabout. By this time I had come to terms with the fact that there would be no games or similar for me.

Sadly, my mum is epileptic and I had asked the BM to confirm when organising where we would go that there were no strobes. It was strobe city and i spent the evening worrying about mum.

No one danced. One person bought me a drink and most people left at 1am without telling me they were going. After they left they text some of the remaining girls trying to persuade them to leave me and go back to their house.

Overall, I felt let down by my friends and upset that I missed out on this experience. All I would have liked would have been a bride to be sash, a couple of games and to have a few drinks bought for me. Am I being a perfectionist or is this unfair? I just feel like I spent over £300 on bankrolling a night out that I didnt really enjoy - and which certainly didnt feel about me. I just kept looking at other, better, hen nights durign the night and feeling left out image

Rant over - sorry it is so long!!


  • MrsPar13MrsPar13 Posts: 821
    Ahhh I'm really sorry you were disappointed. I don't think it sounds like you were being demanding. May be you could organise something special with just you and your mum?
  • amy-lou-22amy-lou-22 Posts: 1,259

    I agree with MrsPar2b it seems like your mum was the only true 'friend' here and maybe you should just do something together. Sorry it was so bad, it sounds like people just didn't make the effort.

  • I think that is right - just miffed as I always bend over backwards for my friends and they never reciprocate. Just thought that they would do on my hen night!!

    I have got a meal and spa thing with my family friends at the start of March (while Mr P is on his stag - no doubt utterly destroying my house in the process....) so will focus on that instead. Plus, upon hearing my woes (and perhaps to stop me whingeing) the ladies at slimming world have suggested going for a curry to celebrate (ironic), so I have that to look forward to!

    Perhaps it is time for me to realise that celebrating a wedding can come in other forms other than in pink, polyester, mass produced hen night regalia image

  • If I was you I would tell them your upset as you spent alot of money and they took advantage
  • They don't sound like true friends...Sorry babe sounds like your a lovely girl and they take advantage image There's nothing like a wedding to find out who your friends are!

  • Thanks Ladies - i'm going to make more of the one with my family friends who, although they are all about 20yrs older than me - are all a great laugh and will put the effort in. Its true though autumnbride - you really can tell who your mates are when planning a wedding!!

  • Capt82Capt82 Posts: 57

    I had something very similar happen at my hen last February! I really feel for you, it is disappointing and you feel your only opportunity at a hen do is lost. I had a pizza, 2 drinks, and an awful club full of 50 year old single men, then bed at 1am.

    My advice: 1) Have another one or make the family one a bigger thing! Go all out, arrange things yourself, dont expect others to know what you want. Games, decorations, drinks, itinerary. They dont need to be arranged by the BM, you can do it if you want to. If you dont, the moment will pass and you will regret it always.

    2) Dont write your friends off for it. It wasnt all their fault. On hen do's people expect to be organised and dont want to tred on the MOH ideas so they often turn up and expect the same as you did. when it doesnt happen, people dont feel they can always step in and 'fix' it. They just go along with it as well.

    I never did a second one, I got too busy with wedding stuff. I regret that, and still feel sad mine wasnt as I wanted. I should have spoken up and said how I felt.

    Good luck!

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