Close to giving up

Hi All,


Im really hoping somebody might have some advie to help me get back on track with my planning as im gettin gto the point where i would rather call the whole thing off image

Basically me and my h2b got engaged in october 2009 and originally planned a 2012 wedding. I've never liked the idea of long engagments however 2 1/2 years didnt seem too bad. At the time we lived up in Leicester and started scouting local venues. In mid 2010 we moved to London and started new jobs etc so the planning went on hold.

As h2b's parents live in America and are ona Visa that doesnt allow them to leave the US for holidays etc we decided to put off the wedding agin untill 2013/14 as they mentioned they were planningon moving back around then and we of course would rather have them at our big day. This also worked better for us as we bought a house in 2012 which took a fair chunk form our savings.

So once again we started looking at Kent/London venues for a big wedding (120 guests) and narrowed our choices down. Then last week his parents called to say they dont know when they will be back so we should jsut get maried this year without them!!

I was so annoyed at first as getting married without them isnt an option for me and i want all our close family there. We have looked at US weddings but i feel like you loose out on so many things like a first dance and having friends there (most of ours couldnt afford to come to a USA wedding).

So i really dont know what to do? Wait untill who knows when and his family are back in the UK, get married in the US and have a wedding without my gradparents etc or just call the whole thing off?

To make matters worse we have waited so long that now my gradparents wont be well enough to travel to a London wedding (they live in north yorkshire) and a number of relatives on my mums side wont be bale to attend as tragically my cousin passed away last year the day before his wedding and understandably attaending another family wedding would bring up sad memories.






  • MegsMegs Posts: 547
    Could you have the ceremony out in america with just parents then have a blessing / reception over here? You can have a blessing that looks exactly the same as a wedding so your grandparents etc won't be missing out and you will have the best of both worlds?
  • Megs' idea is a good one - you get to wear your dress twice too with is a definite bonus!

    I know you want close family there etc, but at the end of the day it should be about the two of you getting married and not something you should be putting off to work around everyone else. Have the wedding you want, when you want!
  • You could have your wedding here and then perhaps have a vow renewal when his parents move back?

  • Have many sympathies with you.  Reading other threads above, if you wanted a legal wedding say in the USA then come home, then have you could renew your vows say at home or if your garden/house is not big enough then do you have family or friends who have a venue large enough to accommodate you. I have been a Registrar since 2006 and have attended hundreds of weddings in The Register Office and at Approved Premises. So why not have your legal wedding abroad and bring back your marriage certificate. Then have your own "ceremony" which is more a renewal of vows, at your home or the venue you want. My wife and I could attend as a Celebrant (the person reading the vows to you) plus Registrar (who writes the entry in a green book - not a real register but to your family friends it would look the real thing) then the Registrar at the end of the ceremony presents the real marriage certificate (which you give him in advance) and everyone thinks it is the real thing. Nothing is illegal as anyone can have this type of ceremony anywhere. Only you and your partner and the two witnesses would know. We could provide you with a wedding script running into many pages for you to "personalise" your wedding vows. You could add poetry or songs between certain parts of the ceremony. Typically your home personalised ceremony could be about 30 minutes – you decide. You also control the costs! My daughter did it and brought in a marquee, caterers, bought all the drinks at supermarket prices and saved a fortune. You could even consider having the renewal of vows ceremony near your grandparents.  Please contact us if you want more information. Sue and David

  • Do you have a tech savy friend who could set up a video link for them to watch the ceromony and a tv so you could see them? At least then they could see it in real time and be able to talk about the ceromony afterwords as if they were there. They would miss the reception but you could maybe honeymoon in America and meet up for a special dinner together where you can tell them about your day and how it was, show them photos etc while it's still fresh in your minds image hope you get sorted!


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