Am I being childish?

Ok I'm asking you girls as I don't know if I'm being a bit childish so I need you opinion. I'm going to a wedding fair Sunday been looking forward to it all month. I'm going with my maid of honour who's my best friend, mum and sister but mum and sister more then likely will let me down. So probably be just me and my best friend. Her mate who's also her next door neighbour has been engaged 2 Years. She's the one that made me feel bad about my budget. Anyway she's decided she's getting married next feb so before me and that Jade is a bridesmaid. Also there budget is not the ??30K she said she had to have its ??4.5K. Anyway my MOH text me late last night asking if this girl can come with us as she wants to look at the venue (Outof her budget). Now if I'm being honest I really don't want this girl to come. I don't want her knowing what my plans are as she's before so It can easily seem like I'm copying her & I really felt like it was going to be about my wedding my day sort of thing but if she's there we have to talk about her. Not to mention she's made me feel uncomfortable already. H2B reckons I should call my friend and tell her how I feel. Tell her I'm not happy with this girl coming and that i feel already shes compromising on her duties to me for this friend. i feel like a bitch saying that though. Do you think I'm being selfish and childish? X

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  • Erm... Your friend is being a friend to you both, by saying she is compromising you and her duties?!?!



    Say you will go with your mum and she should enjoy the day with her friend if that's what it comes down to. None if my friends or bridesmaids have been to wedding fayres with me it's been me and mum, or on one occasion me, mum, dad and H2B.



    I think you need to take stock and get a grip! Sorry but you're over reacting.



    I have a friend who gets married 7 weeks before me and she too has been at wedding fayres when I have been ere. She has gone for same colour bridesmaids (different shade though) and we have same photographer. She put me on to the couple and they're ace. We've helped each other trying to save a penny or two.



    Sorry to be harsh but to be it appears you're being a bridezilla, either that or I'm just very laid back and think there's more important things to worry and stress about.
  • As I've already said my mums decided not to come so it will just be us 3. The girl in question when I got engaged slagged off my wedding saying she wouldn't get married for less then ??30K. We've got a small ??5.5K wedding. I've had this arranged with my friend for over a month. I wanted it to be us. Now it's with her so we'll be talking about her wedding and once again the spotlight is no where near me. It's not like the girls just going to the wedding fair my friend wants me to pick her up take her and drop her off. So no time just me and her. Maybe it does seem bride zilla but I feel this is my day and one of the things I was looking forward to most is the run up to it.
  • A the 30k thing wasn't clear with the way it came out. How you've explained it now seems much clearer. Now I am on your wave length. I didn't realise other girl had been awful, sorry! X



    It seemed too that your mum hadn't said either way. Maybe saying like it is to your friend. Have you got a 'back up' friend you could take just in case xx



    Sorry for confusion
  • That's ok I didn't explain it right first time. Thing is its just this week she's decided to get married after almost 3 year engagement. No saving before or anything. So I feel she's just trying to get in on it if that makes sense. She already made a nasty comment about my H2B not being that involved so I'm thinking why isn't she going with him as she's looking at venues. I really don't want to put my friend in a awkward position but I also don't want to not enjoy myself which I'll feel I can't as I'll watching everything I say as she's very competitive. I don't have any other girlfriend I can take really. X
  • There will always be people that want to make out their wedding is better than yours/they are spending more/their theme is better etc. This girl sounds like an idiot and I would probably feel the same way, but try not to put your friend in a difficult position.



    If there are things you like and want to have when you are there, perhaps take the supplier's information and book it afterwards if you want to keep things under wraps. If something particularly takes your fancy make an excuse to split up if you don't want this other girl knowing what you're doing.



    Would your h2b be able to go with you? If so you could all go together and split up when you're there?



    Lastly, the sad truth is that most weddings are very similar in any event these days, and most people have taken ideas they like from other brides and are very rarely original. Everyone seems to be having country garden/vintage weddings at the moment, as that's what is in fashion. Therefore, try not to get too hung up on 'copying'. You and your h2b's wedding will be at a different venue, and will be different anyway as its the two is you! If this girl wants to copy then try and take the high road - as they say, imitation is the highest form of flattery!



    I hope you go and have a lovely time - dont let this girl spoil it for you!
  • So how did you get on? X
  • Phoned her. Explained how I feel and told her my own mum has cancelled on me. She said the girl only wanted a lift but even then I'm not a taxi service. To park at this wedding fair its ??10! She's in walking distance. I explained to my MOH I felt she wouldn't leave and because of her rude comments before i didn't really feel comfortable around her. My MOH seemed ok so hopefully today will be ok x
  • Just enjoy the day .....if it's your first wedding fair your head is going to be swimming with all the different things you see different ideas etc.



    I'm 5 days away from my wedding, you would not believe in the early stages how many fairs I went to and how many times I changed my mind ver things. I had 4 different colour schemes ha ha



    Think what I'm trying to say is - if this girl comes, you will more than likely have completely different views and many of them may change anyway so don't get caught up on the smaller details - it's the bigger picture that matters!



    You are getting married image xx
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