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OMG I can't believe I've been so utterly stupid

Yes, I know this is all my fault. Yes, I know I am a total idiot. Please, please don't reply to this telling me off for idiocy and poor financial awareness. I am well aware of my shortcomings, already beating myself up more than enough and was already working hard on ways to improve things ASAP.

My wedding is in 5 days. I can't cope with anything else. I have to bake and ice the cake and make lunch for 70 people.

i just discovered I miscalculated the wedding costs. When I was utterly sleep deprived, up all night working with newborn twins who took it in turn sleep (one night I literally didn't sleep until I handed them back to their mum at 7am) I wrote down a number wrong. Why on earth I never thought to double check that number I have no idea.

I miscalculated the total cost of our wedding by about £1500.

I know. I'm an idiot. image 

I have the cash to pay for the wedding, rent on the other hand? Electricity? Going to have to go on credit cards. I have the credit allowance for that, but I'm not sure the people I need to pay take cards. And the new card probably won't arrive before the wedding.

next month? We are on the bread line. Even with credit cards.

i'm in tears right now at my own stupidity. Can't believe I made such an elemental mistake, real school girl error. 

Posts

  • MrsKGMrsKG Posts: 403

    Oh no that's awful. This is the last thing you need so close to the day. I'm trying to think of ways you coud maybe raise some cash. Do you have anything you can eBay? I have been doing that quite a bit recently so we can pay for some new carpets and it's surprising how quickly it adds up if you're selling clothes you no longer wear etc. Could you do your shopping at aldi/lidl to save money? We did it one week and saved a third of what we usually spend in a week. Small things add up. I hope this doesn't sound patronising as freely for your and am just thinking of ways to help off other top of my head. I hooped you are ok x

  • MrsKGMrsKG Posts: 403

    Apologies for the weird autocorrects. I hope you are ok x

  • VictoriaoVictoriao Posts: 1,536

    Aww sweetis, how awful and yet so much still to do. Deep breathes are required. It sounds like you are already juggling an awful lot, maybe a BM of MOH would be willing to help prep the lunch or even bake a cake to give you and extra hand free?

    You say a new credit card wouldn't arrive before the wedding, but would one that is interest free for purchases give you a bit of breathing room for after the wedding? That way you would have a fall back position/fail safe?

  • MrsF2b2MrsF2b2 Posts: 831

    Thanks for your messages, it does mean a lot.

    I've done things I was going to do anyway but hadn't got round to, like going through my bank statement and cancelling recurring payments for things I no longer need. 

    I'm putting aside things I need to return (eg amazon just sent two games instead of one so one will go straight back!) And will be looking out things to eBay, but probably after the honeymoon. Have a business idea to launch when we get back.

    Have managed to book a day as a consultant, soo that's an extra £150. Don't get to do many of them so it was very good timing! 

    I am trying, but I'm still beating myself up. Feel I'm not good enough to be anyone's wife and he will change his mind. He's being lovely about it, but I still feel awful.

     

  • Hi

    Firstly, don't be so hard on yourself as we can all make mistakes.

    Is there anyone, family, friends etc that can lend you some money as this is a special occasion, I know it may be a little embarassing but it may take a bit of the pressure off.

    Also, have you tried ringing your landlord and explaining the situation? He/she may be willing to postpode this month's rent or let you pay it in installments. And ring your utilily companies as when i was in university n power let me pay a bill late as i needed to wait until my student loan went in.

    Also, not sure what you're are doing for wedding gifts but there always tend to be a few people at weddings that put cash or a cheque in the card so maybe this could see you through until you can get a new credit card or something.

    Hope everything goes ok. Good luck. xxxx

     

     

     

  • That is all you need having the extra stress and worry this week; as suggested by Victoria - can one of your bridesmaids give you a hand with getting these things sorted, then at least you'd not be feeling so overwhelmed.

    With the miscalculation, don't be so hard on yourself - it is easy to do at the best of times, never mind in the busy circumstances that you've described. As suggested can you put anything on ebay to give you a bit of extra cash, or can you get a temporary overdraft to keep you going over the next month? 

    I second the suggestion of Aldi or Lidl if you have one nearby; we did our first weekly food shop at Lidl yesterday and saved £15 off our normal weekly shop and it included loads of extras that we'd not normally buy. 

    Please don't stress too much about this, I know that's easily said. And talk to your H2B, I'm sure he will be able to work on some solutions to this with you.

     

     

     

  • breathe deep, calm down (harder to do than write I know). Right, regarding cakes and lunch. Do you have a set menu? Or is it open? i am assuming this will be buffet style?

    Start preparing food which will freeze now and tomorrow and save the flakes for the night before (though you can get away with a few days in an airtight container). Get as many family and friends (bms, mil, bros, sisters Etc) and ask them if they can help. 

    If you can, put as much on the credit card as you can afford and keep your cash for rent. Some people are funny with money but would it be worth sitting down with h2b and talking this through and seeing what options/avenues are available to explore ? Could family help out at all? ( horrible having to ask but sometime it's worth a try?)

    If you can, try and avoid the credit cards as unless you know you can pay it off, it can easily spiral. 

    Big hugs and I hope you have a fantastic day x

  • MrsF2b2MrsF2b2 Posts: 831

    Thanks everyone, definitely in need of a bit of support today. I can't ask family unfortunately. It sounds awful but my Grandad died a couple of weeks ago (I was devastated, partly because of the timing) and I'm secretly hoping I might inherit something. Also hoping for some cash wedding gifts! 

    My slimming world group are having a black tie meal in a couple of weeks, so I've arranged to take some old party dresses along to this weeks meeting and see if anyone wants to buy them. I can sell the wedding dress too if I have to. 

    Now, really need to stop being upset and enjoy my wedding preps and day! 

     

  • Robyn89Robyn89 Posts: 131

    Hopefully you get it all sorted, but you're right, immerse yourself in the things you have control over right now and enjoy these precious moments in the run up to your day. Try not to let this cloud your week hun image

  • a payday loan might help although I am very wary of them! any friend sor famiyl who could help out?

    dont beat yourself up about it. although im confused as to what your still paying off 5 days before! I make my brides pay a month before x

  • MrsF2b2MrsF2b2 Posts: 831

    Florist was paid ages ago but lots of people are pay on the day. Caterer was paid half before and half after, catering equipment and staff is due the day before the wedding.

  • Easy mistake to make and remember that wedding is for both ofyou, so don't take this too hard just on yourself image

    Thinking practically, contact any suppliers you are due to pay on the day and ask if you can pay later on? Or could you cut back on what you've ordered with them? What suppliers do you still need to pay?

    You say you're making the lunch, can you cut back what you planned to make?

    Cake - have you already bought the ingredients? If not, could you do without a cake (I know this might sound drastic, but we didn't have a cake, nobody even noticed!)

     

  • There's always the option of Listing the bits and pieces you plan to part with from your wedding (after the big day) NOW.........I'm sure there are plenty of brides (like me) who are planning for weddings months/years in advance who would be happy to buy bits and bobs and receive them when you're finished with them.......... might be quicker than Ebay

  • Can you apply/extend your overdraft with your bank? Best way to get cash quickly and usually an instant decision. 

    Its a simple mistake to make So don't beat yourself up. What does h2b say? 

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