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Mother of the Bride and ex's 2nd family

My daughter is getting married next year, and her half-sisters are to be bridesmaids. Problem is, my ex and his girlfriend barely acknowledge me, so the worries about the whole thing are distressing me, which in turn distresses my daughter.  I don't have a problem with the half-sisters being bridesmaids except for the fact that the mother just cannot be civil to me.  I phoned her a couple of weeks back to try to smooth things over, but she just resorted to being offensive to me.   She's even implicating that I should keep out of the way for some of the arrangements as apparently, the wedding arrangements are none of my business!  (Yes, in case you are wondering,  I did bring my daughter up, and we are very close.)  I don't want this to be a battle as it is going to cause my daughter (and me) extra stress for what should be the best day of her life. 

 

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  • Hi Maria, she sounds like a joy! Lol!  Its so hard with step families and that, my Mum and Dad seperated when I was young, I didnt see Dad for many many years, in the meantime both remarried and I was given an amazing Stepdad who sadly died very young, and a few years later me and Dad were back in touch, he had a lovely wife and step family, and sadly he died aged 50, about 6 months after we were back in touch.  I feel blessed that I have an amazing Mum, Stepdad and Dad and that I feel contented that I had all of them, and now my Stepmum and I are so close as well, what I am trying to say is that I do understand but I am the otherside where Mum and Stepmum are nice to each other and its all civil and I have a step sister and brother who all get on.  It could have been so different, and if Dad and Dad were still here the wedding could be so different.  I think you need to be the civilised grown up, no matter how hard it is, you hold your head up - you enjoy every moment of that wedding.  If it was me though and anyone spoke to my Mum like that, I would be straight round at their door telling them what I think and to be quite frank telling her Dad to sort her out, and that she isnt going to spoil my day (I can be quite feisty though) but thats maybe what needs to happen.  Hope you get sorted, dont let some jumped up snotty piece spoil your day love! xx

  • Hi Kimberley,

    Thanks for your reply.  Unfortunately my daughter is unlikely to speak directly to her Dad.  He is the sort of person who bears a grudge if anyone dares to cross him, and he has in the past  gone months without seeing her, which has upset her.  Lately he seems to be making more effort with her, and I just don't think she wants to risk upsetting him.

    I think there will be instances - eg shopping for bridesmaids dresses - when I will be told that I can't go along, as the mother won't want me there and it will be easier for everyone except me!   Also, don't know how it will work on the day, as the bridesmaids will obviously be with my daughter, which is likely to mean that I can't be.

    It wouldn't be my choice, but I can cope with the ex and his family being there, and even the kids being bridesmaids.  What I am struggling with is that it feels like it is no longer MY daughter's wedding as that part of her family will be so involved and at the same time, unable to treat me decently.  

     

  • I am so sad for you image I can understand her not wanting to talk to him if he is like that though, especially near her wedding day but you are her Mum and deserve to be a part of it all!  I would try and be the bigger person and let the new piece of skirt look the fool with her behaviour - what a pathetic woman!  Your daughter will automatically want you with her on the day until she gets there so try not to worry.  When is the wedding next year?  x

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