upset...

hi, we have our wedding booked for next year in St Lucia, small intermate wedding, have only sent out invites to h2b brothers, my parents and his parents and a close friend of ours.mil2b has gone and invited and have already booked her friends and her sister and husband to come too and they are even staying at the same hotel as us! we are so upset and livid.  is this normal for her to invite whoever she wants!? surely its OUR wedding and we invite who we want.this has caused a massive scene and she has said some very hurtful things about h2b and me and says she does not want anything more to do with us and will never speak to me again.  Would anyone elses parents do this kind of thing? x

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  • how bizarre, no i don't think that is normal. had you made it clear exactly who was invited and that you wanted it to be close family only?

  • kitten2kitten2 Posts: 2,240

    My MIL would. We've already fallen out with her having invited people to our wedding without asking us. Luckily they are people who we're going to invite anyway but I didn't let her know it. I can't believe how selfish people can be, especially parents. They try to make out it is their day but they had their own wedding and then make out they're so upset but they should just butt out. I absolutely feel your pain. Big hugs xxx

  • JCL1JCL1 Posts: 129

    I think sometimes parents get really excited about their children getting married and want to share the wedding with their friends and family (forgetting that it's not actually their wedding!). Did your mil2b know that you were only intending on inviting a small number people and if so has she explained why she went ahead and invited other people without asking you?

    I think things that were said in the heat of the moment will mend with time and I'm sure she will speak to you both again. It's crap you have to deal with this when being engaged is meant to be a happy time but it's certainly not uncommon for weddings to cause friction with family and friends.

  • kez79kez79 Posts: 114

    she clearly knew who we had sent invites to and we had explained we only wanted our very close family there, this is why we chose st lucia. she also knew we planned to have a party back home when we returned and absolutley everyone was invited to that.  My mum and dad would never dream of doing this and i would be devastated if my parents said anything that she has said about her son. She was on my booking and she has made me cancel her and her husband off. its so sad as we were so looking forward to having them there.x

  • MrsW2MrsW2 Posts: 10

    I can sympathise with you, I had the same problem! My husband and I invited immediate family and close friends to our wedding but my MIL kept insisting that we invite a few of her friends. These were people that we knew, but not well enough for me and my husband to want them at our wedding. There were quite a few arguments about it, as we had already reached our budget on how much we had spent on guests. However, my MIL still kept insisting that we invited her friends, even saying that she would pay for them! Luckily, the situation was resolved and my MIL accepted that me and my husband didn't find it appropriate for them to be there.

    However, on my wedding day, I was a little taken aback to see that there were people in the church who I didn't know that well! These were people that my MIL worked with and she had obviously told them that they could come in and watch the ceremony! Whilst she didn't mean any harm by it, I was a little annoyed that our wedding ceremony had ended up more like a general church service where anyone can just walk in. Two weeks after our wedding, I still feel a bit annoyed about it. They were the first people I saw when walking down the aisle and because I didn't recognise them it added to my nerves. To top it off, there was a guest at the evening reception who I didn't even know at all!

    In my opinion, parents need to back off when it comes to inviting guests. It's your day and your MIL2b had no right to go inviting people, especially when she knew that you only wanted a small, intimate wedding. She's obviously bitter about the fact that she can't have who she wants there, which is why she's been hurtful towards you and your h2b.

    Sorry that you're feeling upset over the situation image It's understandable that your MIL2b wants to be involved but to be hurtful towards you and your h2b is just unnecessary and unacceptable.

    xxx

  • We were in similar situation with h2bs dad wanting to invite about 20 people, we said that he could if he would pay for everything n he all of a sudden changed his mind image 

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