What is it about weddings that make people so ultra sensitive and demanding?

I am going to have a little rant here.. sorry. Ever since we started planning our wedding we have had trouble with family expecting/demanding things from us. We are having afternoon tea and a hog roast.. apparently people want a 3 course meal. We are not getting married in a hotel.. "where are we going to stay?". I didn't ask my 14 year old niece who I never see to be my bridesmaid.. "we are not going". We are not giving my fiance's sister/ best woman a plus 1 as she knows everyone there and is single at the moment. Apparently we hurt her feelings, despite explaining we have limited numbers and are saving plus ones for people travelling alone. 

   Arggghhh people seem to be so sensitive whn it comes to weddings, and demand so much. I can honestly say I am not enjoying planning my wedding because of this and we wish we had eloped!!!! Anyone else feel like this??


  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    Sorry to hear that you have had some negative input from friends/ family. I have had the odd piece of input from people, but I have just said ...well thats what I want or ignored their comment. A bride suggested the line "We haven't decided yet" which has come in handy!!

    Unfortunatly my main problem is my OH telling his friends/ family about plans which I was hoping to keep quiet. Plus after finding my dress we had a family meal where my future MIL and MOB dropped hints about my dress...inc the price tag. Brilliant.

    I guess the less people who know, the less opinions and the more of a surprise the day will be image

  • Luckily most people in my family have been ok, but I am finding that I'm just getting little remarks from a few people.  I think as time goes on I'll be getting more and more.

    I'm just planning to smile at people until they stop.  Well, either they will stop or they'll just think my smiling at inappropriate times is creepy and it'll make them change the subject...

  • definantly see where you are coming from i 'have' to invite my nan from my dads side even though after he died she won't make any effort to see me (to the point i had a baby and was living 2 streets down but responded to my aunti telling her of the birth 'dont see her that much anyway' no card, no phone call)

    it is your wedding, you have to remember that. explain it is going to be a small ceremony, closest friends and family for bride and groom only. that's it, no negotiaton. doubt a 14 year old neice would be upset, if she is, well... she's not the chosen one. she'll get over it. we never gave a plus one. we invited people we knew at the time of sending out invites, and only gav a specified plus 1 to those who had been with our invited guest for a good length of time. ( so my cousin didn't bring the most recent in his skankiest girls ever to sleep with) we've  stuck to this. it's your day, it's about you and your groom, it is an hono to be invited to a wedding, not a god given right x

  • Sorry to hear you are going through this. Am experiencing similar myself. Have been threatened with my nieces not being brought to the wedding if they are not bridesmaids, people refusing to sit with other people, people not wanting to eat anything on the menu. Its really tough time when it should be the happiest time of your life.

    The only way I have managed to hold my head high is just taking calm and peace from H2B, despite most of the agro coming from his family he can always manage to ignore everything and see the goodness in everything. And to see how he happy he still is and excited helps me ignore all the negativity. He tells me that seeing me so happy when making plans and choosing things for the wedding reminds him of why we are getting married. When im feeling angry I just think back to that. Very cheesy but it works.

    Hope things get better and people start to shut up and give you nothing but positivity. As that is what you truly deserve.xxx

  • ReeRee Posts: 119

    What is it with people and weddings! I think everyone forgets that its about the couple and all start thinking about themselves! I have a major problem with my mum interferring and being so demanding! And unless something is her idea she is sooo negative and wont let the comments drop. She has zero respect for any of my suggestions. And when

    I am a vegetarian and wanted a vegetarian main course for my breakfast as my OH doesnt eat much meat anymore now and I didnt want to be eating something different to everyone - However, after that being met with disgusted faces, we have compromised and agreed to a lovely fish main course and vegetarian option.... my mum was again disgusted that we werent having meat and keeps telling us to "keep an open mind" Im convinced she thinks we will change our minds the more she goes on about it....but all it makes me do is stick to my guns.

    I did try to tell her that she was getting a bit too much when she went on for weeks about my choice of shoes! (SERIOUSLY!?!) Apparently she doesnt think I should wear the nude ones I have got, but I should instead wear white or silver! But me trying to ask her nicely to just let some things go ended it up a massive argument. She wouldnt apologise and instead sees me as some sort of ungrateful diva! 

    After the argument (where we just had to agree to not speak of it again) and at a meeting with a florist it was all I could do not to scream when she started telling the florist "I want this" and "I want that" as if I wasnt even there!

    At no point is it about what I, the bride wants.... unless shes come up with the idea its open to discussion. Her ideas however are set in stone!

    Aaagh...sorry, ive just totally hijacked your rant with my own but once I started typing I couldnt stop! haha xxx

  • I totally understand where you are coming from. i havent had many glitches, only the one and that was stressful enough I had to take a day off work! All because one of my BMs did not like the dress and she didnt tell me. Its wrecked our relationship and I dont feel comfortable with her anymore because she acted like such a spoilt brat and I still havent had an apology, needless to say she and her sister are no longer BMs! Hopefully everything will sort out at your end though image

  • I totally get this though my family and friends have been v well behaved. Despite this I have come to realise that it's impossible to glide through the process without a) making a few mistakes/having a few regrets and b) upsetting people or being upset by people. So hang it, just do the best you can and smile sweetly. It's not all sunshine and kittens that's for sure no matter how hard you try to do the right thing. Tigso1987 I am so intrigued by your story - I think one of my BMs feels the same, please share? xx

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