Forum home Emotional support

In-law issues

If I'm honest I thought my days of coming on here were over when we got married a little over two weeks ago, but I seem to be stuck in a ridiculous situation and don't really know what to do.

My MiL and I have a reasonable relationship but don't always see eye to eye. She's incredibly dramatic/emotional and is happy to through her toys out of the pram and can be incredibly hurtful if things don't go her way but I'd hoped this could all be put to one side for our wedding day.

In the weeks leading up to the wedding we tried to organise to meet up with her on numerous occassions but she was always too busy at the gym, with her partner etc. all the while my parents were bending over backwards to help with the finishing touches for the wedding, but I let it slide as I just couldn't be dealing with the drama on top of sorting everything for the wedding.

The day before our wedding we had access to our reception venue to set up. MiL had kindly agreed to help but when I arrived at the venue she completely blanked me and it was only after I'd mentioned being ignored that she finally spoke to me. Again I kept quiet as I knew she'd get upset if I asked what the issue was and didn't want to risk her saying she wouldn't come to the wedding or us having any bad feeling on the day.

Skip forward to our wedding day and she not only didn't speak to me but went as far as to walk away every time I went to speak with her. My OH spoke to her about it and apparently it's because she thinks I hate her - which a) i've never given her any reason to think this and b) should surely be how I'm feeling given she was going out of her way to avoid me! 

On top of this I had my OH's brother's girlfriend walking around with a face like thunder all day, and even went as far as to walk straight past me when our guests were coming out of the church to speak to us at the end of our ceremony and then barged straight past me when we were on the dance floor in the evening. We've been fairly close over the last few months and she'd been texting me in the usual manner in the lead up to the wedding so I was completely thrown by her behaviour and to be honest, fairly hurt by it, though she's a lot younger than us so I wondered if it was a jealousy thing. As a result of this OH's brother barely spoke to us either.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt I text her a few days later to ask if she was ok as she hadn't seemed herself on the day and have still not had a reply from her. 

I really don't know what to do as I've never been in this situation before and feel like I'm being put in an impossible situation. I really want to get to the bottom of this and get it sorted before it blows into something much bigger than it needs to be, but I genuinely have no idea what the issue is and don't know what the best course of action is, particularly as I'm still so hurt that they couldn't even be bothered to make the effort on our big day.

Posts

  • JCL1JCL1 Posts: 129

    They sound really immature. I'd leave it, enjoy being a newly wed. They'll get in touch with you when it's blown over x

  • GG2BeGG2Be Posts: 95

    It feels ridiculously immature but OH is keen for us to all get along and wants us to be the bigger people so to speak.

  • MegsMegs Posts: 547

    Your MIL drama sounds so much like my day! She actually kicked off with hubby because the day after the wedding when we were leaving for our honeymoon we couldn't take her to the airport to fly home instead we had arranged for a taxi for her. i couldn't believe it. I can't offer much in way of resolution as I just left things to calm down and when neither of us made contact with her she apologised. 

    As for your OH's brothers girlfriend, has your hubby tried speaking to his brother to find out what is wrong. I would have initially put it down to jealousy 

  • GG2BeGG2Be Posts: 95

    Thanks folks! I'm just so upset as I've never had an issue with anyone's parents let alone my in-laws and it makes me feel so trapped. 

    I've cracked and sent the MiL a text. If left down to my OH he'd tip-toe round the issue for years to come, which is the complete opposite to how I would deal with things. 

  • kez79kez79 Posts: 114

    Families eh? Can be your worst nightmare. I would just ignore them,don't text or anything. they will soon come round xx

  • God your such a big person! Id have given them a right hook to be honest like. Nobody barges a geordie thoughimage haha

  • GG2BeGG2Be Posts: 95
    TheFeistyFlorist wrote (see)

    God your such a big person! Id have given them a right hook to be honest like. Nobody barges a geordie thoughimage haha

    Haha this cracked me up! image

    Just to update MiL just made a ton of excuses to my text and is now not replying to me so I've told hubby I've had enough and won't be making any further effort with her until she starts making an effort back. 

    I just don't get it, I made it clear that my text was just to ask for her to meet me in person and clear the air, extending the olive branch so to speak and instead of accepting it she just spent the whole time trying to make me feel bad. Apparently I don't like her (well geez woman you're not really endearing yourself to me when you ignore me on my wedding day!) despite having reassured her many, many times that that's not the case, which is why she ignored me at the wedding. Her blanking me when we were setting up the venue was also my fault (I waved when I arrived and she averted her gaze!) and her friend was apparently shocked and appalled by how I could ignore the mother of the groom (oh please!) she only eventually spoke to me as my father went over and had a word with her!

    I'm just at a complete loss as to what to do?!

  • Ignore her.  You've done your best, and she's not recipocating.  She'll eventually put her dummy back in...

Sign In or Register to comment.