No contact

Hi ladies,

 

really just need to have a rant & get some things of my chest. As I have previously posted my wonderful mam is walking me down the aisle image as I haven't seen or spoken to my dad properly for the last 4/5 years. In this time I have graduated, seen my beautiful nephew come into the world ( his grandson), got engaged, had my amazing little baby summer and nothing not a peep from him- no cards, phone calls or texts. I also have two full siblings who have heard nothing from him & one half brother who is six and as a result of this have no relationship. Which really upsets me, why I'm writing this I guess is just to ask what is wrong with us that he wants nothing to do with us? I have texted him inviting him to meet his granddaughter but nothing came from that.

my mam is wonderful she has done a fabulous job raising us and is so supportive of us image she's the best nana to her 2 grandbabies & I dunno what id do without her. What I just can't get over is how he has no interest in meeting them? a good friend from works dad drove 300 miles overnight to meet his granddaughter after she was born, I couldn't help despite the fact that he's obviously not interested in us or my nephew and daughter feeling a little sad and jealous of this. I am so proud of my princess it makes me so angry that he doesn't want to know her? Guess I just need  to rant!

 

Posts

  • Sometimes people are just like that and you just have to move on from it. Dont waste time and energy on people who arent giving you the same back- spend time with the ones you love and who love you back, lifes too short for people like him.

    Cant imagine how it must feel and it baffles me when people act this way too but your probably better off without them xx

  • LeaBLeaB Posts: 1,706

    My h2b dad is totally the same, he sometimes texts the other half but rarely. He has a new wife and 3 kids who h2b wants nothing to do with. He has never asked us once about the wedding and on facebook he is always going on how great is other kids are.... it really winds me up that he forgets he has an amazing son as well.

    It really annoys me, I can't relate to how you feel as I am not in teh same position but I know how much it winds me up. H2b keeps saying its his decision and if he wants to be like that then let him.

    I am certain there is nothing wrong with you or your daugher or the rest of your family, its just your dads more than likely guilty conscience and he cannot man up enough to face reality. It sounds like your mum has done a great job and you too with your daughter. Please don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault or decision for the non contact x

  • Thanks ladies,

    guess it's just hard having no idea why hes Just cut us out of his life. I never thought that like you have suggested that maybe it's too hard for him like you have suggested. I think you're all right and we are doing well without him, I just feel sorry for him because he is missing out on so much! My baby is turning one and she is a clever beautiful funny little madam image xx

  • MrsG23MrsG23 Posts: 231

    My OH dad is very much the same. He lives in the same area as us, but hasnt spoken to my OH for 10 years or more? His own mother died 6 months ago and he didnt even go to her funeral..!!

    The only comfort my OH gets from it all is that his dad will end up a bitter, lonely man, whilst he is surrounded by his family - his mum, siblings and thankfully his step dad who he calls 'Pa' has been an incredible influence and support to him over the years. He also has my family who adore him. 

    It is never about you or how awful you are as people/family - It is his issue, his problem, his loss. Just surround yourself with who you call 'family' and have a wonderful day!! 

    xx

  • MrskdsMrskds Posts: 396 New bride

    I really feel for you, it may be down to a lot of things, maybe he's scared of getting back in contact after so it being so long and missing out on everything. Unfortunately it's quite common and I have friends in the same kind of positon.

    Ultimately it is nothing wrong on your part, you have a clearly lovely mum on your side and he is the one that's going to be missing out on being part of your lives. You have done everything you can on you part, chin up image xx

  • ZoeBZoeB Posts: 149

    I havent seen my dad for over 15 years last time I saw him he said he wished I had never been born.. broke my heart but as hard as it is and will be on the day knowing he wont be walking down the aisle I have to move on and be grateful for all the lovely family and friends I have. Its very hard and I feel your pain x

  • Try not to feel bad for your daughter not having a relationship With your dad. I've grown up never meeting one of my grandfathers and it has never bothered me in the slightest despite him still having a relationship with my fathers siblings and their kids. if she's anything like I was she wont give him a second thought xxx

  • Im in this boat too. My dad (if I can call him that) will not be invited and neither will me future FIL. Neither deserve to share our special day and it's got to the point where I'm not even angry at my dad. He lives less than 10miles away yet I hear nothing from him and my FIL has been a poor excuse of a dad to my H2B too so he doesn't want him there. My uncle is walking me down the isle and I couldn't be more excited about that. It's my dad's loss that he won't be there, not mine. I won't give him a thought on the day! 

    All the people who love you and want to be there for you are all that matters, people who don't put the effort in don't need to be there or even stress you out. Get on with planning the most perfect day and enjoy it image

  • KK12KK12 Posts: 927

    I feel for you but remember that this kind of situation can also happen in reverse. I know of several people where the kids don't want to know their dad/mum etc for various reasons and of course where sons/daughters don't want to know their dad/mum/siblings again for various reasons and sometimes it seems there are no clear cut reasons.

    The people that matter most and who have been there for you will be there on your wedding day and that is what matters most x

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