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MIL driving me crazzzzzzy!

Hi girls,

Some of you may of read my post about my MIL2B a couple of months ago - basically, after we got engaged and told everyone the wedding would be June 2014 she announced 2 weeks later she was engaged too and had set a date for 3 weeks before ours, as if that isn't bad enough. She is literally driving me insane, I have to keep quiet because if I tell my family they just get really angry with her and I don't want any rows (my Mum is already ready to rip her head off since she announced she was getting married before us!). At my Grandad's funeral 2 weeks ago she was asking her H2B to walk around with her to get a "feel" of the place (Grandad's wake was in the golf club her and her fiancee are having theres) which I thought was really insensitive, she asked me how I'm going to have my hair on the day and I told her long and curly with lots of body then she announced to everyone when asked "Oh I'm having my hair curly and long with lots of body) Oh em geeeeee I'm ready to bounce her off the walls ha ha! Then she said she won't have any money to buy a new outfit for our wedding after her own so she is going to wear the dress she wore to her 3 year old son's christening (which means her boobs will be falling out) I'm just so aggravated as to why she is such an attention seeker! She has told anyone that'll listen that her engagement ring and wedding ring is platinum and mine is "only white gold" then had the cheek to ask me and H2B if we will look after the 3 year old for 4 days whilst they go on honeymoon to europe somewhere, H2B told her under no circumstances was he looking after his little brother for 4 days (1, he is really clingy to his Mum & Dad, 2, he isn't the easiest child to look after bless him and 3 it means we would have to take days off work so close to our wedding) and besides from that if I wanted to bloody look after children for days on end I'd have my own! Hence the reason me & H2B are childless and will be for a good few more years (We are only 21). H2B's Nan who is his Dad's Mum was telling me how much of an attention seeker she's always been and apparently she's very insecure, I've known her for 7 years and always knew she could be a bitch when the mood took her but not to this extreme! It seems everything is a competition to her and I hate it so from now on told H2B I'm not sharing any details with his side of the family until they see it at the wedding because I can see her wedding being an identical copy to mine and being 3 weeks before ours don't want people thinking I've used all her ideas arghhghghghgh think I'm going mad!!!

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  • I bet you really want to punch her so bad, don't you?

    I think your H2B's Nan has hit the nail on the head though...she sounds very insecure. Try to pity her rather than get mad with her after all how sad and insecure must she be to have to resort to this behaviour to make herself feel better.

    Everyone will know exactly who is copying who, and she will embarrass herself in the long run, if you bite your lip and let her get on with it.

    I feel for you though I'd be fuming.

     

  • MrsC14MrsC14 Posts: 385

    Thanks giddy-kipper, I feel like I'm going insane although keep this very quiet from H2B as I appreciate that she is his Mum and I wouldn't like him slagging my Mum off to me. It's lucky I'm not the attention seeking type otherwise she would have a very large battle on her hands and I would of probably punched her by now and I'm by no means a violent person ha! It's all got a bit childish, when she told me she was having a 3 tiered cake I told her I was having a 6 tiered one and I laugh about it to myself but really it is aggravating that I get drawn into her silly games but sometimes I have to reply with a sarcy or I can do better comment as it makes me feel a little better lol. I just cannot believe she is actually getting married 3 weeks before her own son, she told us she was engaged without a ring about 2 years ago then last year told us they would rather have a huge expensive holiday rather than a wedding so were going to delay it for a few years, then all of a sudden she's getting married 3 weeks before us after we announce our engagement and wedding day date, grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! 

  • She sounds like a very sad lady, I would be inclined to make up a few details and see if she copies you...the more hideous the better.

  • MrsC14MrsC14 Posts: 385

    Lol, you are so making me feel better about this! If I was a terrible person I really would encourage her to have lime green bridesmaids but I just can't do it ha! xx

  • mandy503mandy503 Posts: 2,066
    giddy-kipper wrote (see)

    She sounds like a very sad lady, I would be inclined to make up a few details and see if she copies you...the more hideous the better.

    Ha ha - love it!!! This place really needs a 'like' button!!

    Mrsc2be, I can't really offer any better advice than above, but do try to rise above it, and just ignore her silly behavior - it will be obvious to everyone what she's doing and it won't reflect on you so long as you don't rise to it - though the occasional, 'well I hear lime is becoming a very popular colour for next year, I'm contemplating maybe using it for dresses or something' once in a while might help to keep your sanity!image

  • Gosh. She sounds a difficult character. Don't tell her anything about yours. Talk about other things (like how lovely her son is). Oh and buy her a new dress that her boobs don't fall out of (if you can afford it), or encourage her partner to do so!

  • I think part of all this is not giving her the satisfaction of showing that it bothers you rise above it all it will start to bother her that you are not reacting the way she wants you to call her bluff i  would be over enthusiastic on her day and say how wonderful it all is once its over enjoy your own preparations and ignore her comments.

  • She sounds like a nightmare image . Id be tempted to do as the others said .

    Either say you are having something really horrendous but dont be too extreme or she wont believe it .

    Or just dont tell her anything . Dont worry about the boob dress . She will look like a tit ( literally !) and be the talk of the wedding .

     

  • Reading this makes my MIL seem extremely easy!! When I've almost come to blows with her, I've spoken to my H2B, told him why she's annoying/upsetting me, what I would like for us and how she's trying to interfere. He then speaks to her about her 'issues' with what she's trying to change about OUR day and kindly puts her back in her place. My MIL has now calmed down after a couple of their chats and I'm a lot more relaxed about what will be having. Yours is slightly different as her wedding day is 3 weeks before but in the same way she's trying to make your day hers by copying. 

    I didn't want to start off our married life at war with my MIL, I've been with my H2B for 10 years and I've had a good relationship with her so far, quite a close one actually. 

    So after my rambling, my advice would be to communicate with your H2B about it and if he can, get him to talk to her. And if that fails, tell her NOTHING about your wedding! 

    Good Luck x

  • MrsC14MrsC14 Posts: 385

    Thanks for all of your replies, I am doing quite well at not snapping and screaming about how I really feel I've been quite enthusiastic about all her plans etc so I have my own game plan of looking like the good one whilst she looks like a jealous insecure person which she is. I too have had a really good relationship with her up until now because I've always known she is 2 faced I know how to handle her but this is on a whole new level. I can't talk to H2B about it as he actually doesn't mind that she's getting married 3 weeks before us (he is so laid back). Everybody in my family has told me that she looks like the weird, insecure one suddenly announcing their wedding after us so they said although people won't say it they will all be thinking the same thing about her plans if they are by any means normal human beings. Her family think it's great but then again I can't stand H2B's Nan or Aunty anyway! Both two faced and I don't ever get even so much as birthday card off of them where as H2B's Dad's side never ever forget me, I am always included in their plans, birthdays, christmases etc and make me feel so welcome. I am now beginning to understand why H2B's Dad never actually "got round" to marrying her and all those years she told me what she had to put up with from his Dad I'm actually starting to see he may of had a dogs life with her diva-ish ways and spoilt brat attitude! xxx

  • hahaha I love the idea of telling her all sorts of rubbish just to see what she pulls out image just try and laugh about it!

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