Family issues after wedding

Hi all,

I got married in September and since getting married my husband has not stopped going on abbout our families, our mums in partiular meeting up more regularly, They probably see each other a few times a year but he keeps telling me that it is strange that our parents have not been to each others houses (when we do see each other it is usually at our house or a restuarant) he seems to be putting a lot of pressure on me that now we are married that both our families need to be super close. I think this stems from the fact that his sister has also recently got married and my husbands family are very close to the ssters husbands family and therefore my husbad wants the same thing with my family. Unfortunately our families are quite different and my family arent't particularly social and are quite quiet around people unless they are good friends with them. I feel like I am letting my husband down and feel that I should try and get them closer together, but dont want to pressure my family and also I'm not the most socialable person and sometimes feel slighlty uneasy when they are all together anyway, I'm quite happy with our families seeing each other just a few times a year but as my husband sees that his family are closer with his siblings partners family I think he feels we must be the same, I know I sound really silly but I just wanted some advice or to see if anyone else is in a similar position

Thanks

Lacey Jay

Posts

  • Have you spoken to your family about maybe geting together more often , in the future would you plan on having children, i can see both your and your husbands concerns.  The reason i ask about children in the future is this might help bring the familys together closer.  You parents may agree to meet with your in laws to help build up relationships at a suitable time and place for everone, could you host a wee lunch a dinner one night get the two familys together,.  Is there any long distance traveling involved, my mums parents were up north so we only seen them about once a year, during the school hoildays , is there any phone contact between the parents.  Speak to your husband is he worried you and him and him are been pushed out as his parents get on with the other inlaws,are your parents more quite people , were as his are more out going, please dont stress over this you will find a way forword to suit everone xxxxx

     

  • Skibabe22Skibabe22 Posts: 79

    I wonder whether I will be in the same boat as you post my wedding on Saturday.

     

    It is hard when people are sociable vs not sociable, as you say in your situation. I think the best thing is to find a middle ground, have lunch or something on a neutral territory with a natural start and finish time so it's not too much for your family but enough to keep hubby happy?

     

    What are your plans for occassions such as bdays and xmas? Are they a good opportunity to meet up for a purpose, or equally a good opportunity to remember that whilst you are joining families, everyone is an individual in their own right? xx

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