Family problems

Hello ladies, feeling abit sorry for myself.

My H2b is divorced (bitter fight for the best part of a decade), he has 2 children - both of who will be bridesmaids at our wedding in the summer.

we have had chats about colours, flowers, dresses etc - so that they feel involved.

this has all been great.

only problem has been that their mum clearly asks them about us/our plans and has her own jealousy issues and is extremely manipulative. But I find it really upsetting that she is trying to find out things and keeps saying nasty things to the girls (she doesn't speak to me or H2b) which they then repeat. For example, how can we afford a honeymoon etc? Isn't she owed some of this money??? We work SO hard and have been saving like crazy image

i know this is her and not the girls but it is really upsetting me. H2B says we should just ignore her and carry on. But I sometimes don't want to share  specific wedding details with the girls because I know she will get it out of them and then start with her opinions on everything that we've spent months organising.

...i think it's time for a cup of tea and a few/ten consolation cookies image 


  • VicNVicN Posts: 1,352

    Didn't want to read and run. All that the girls' mum is doing is confusing them and dividing their loyalties, which isn't fair to them. How old are they?

    It's lovely that you've been able to include them in the planning for your day and I bet they go home really excited when they've been with you, to then have it turned around and made negative by their mum. What a shame - all it's going to do is make them feel like they have to pick sides. 

    I think your H2B is right to be honest about ignoring it. If she is going to be manipulative, then make sure you take the high road and don't do the same back (not that I'm saying you would), continue to share your wedding plans with them - it seems from reading it that you care about the girls and you don't want to continue adding to the confusion for them.


  • KH2BKH2B Posts: 1,216

    It's lovely that you are making the feel so involved, I know in many instances it's not the case.

     I think all you can do is hold your head high and be the better person. She obviously has her own jealousy issues which she is trying to put on the girls and ruin your happy day. 

    I know it's hard to try and just ignore her but the more you get upset and so that it's getting to you the more she wins. If the girls make comments about their mum and what she has said just smile and say 'that's nice' (anyone who watches mrs browns boys will understand the reference meaning your thinking f*** off) pardon my French. 

    Hold in there, as soon as the day arrives you wil not care what she thinks and neither will the girls.

  • MrsTS2014MrsTS2014 Posts: 25

    Thanks for your supportive comments

    ...I see lots of me saying 'that's nice' over the coming months image

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