Tattoo's on your bridesmaids... And your Groom!!

Hi

Ok, I dont want to offend anyone (not the purpose of this at all!!) but I am having a nightmare with my wedding party (Groom included) and tattoos.

I have none and I am not the biggest fan (personal taste) but 3 of my bridesmaids have tattoos and also my H2B. H2B has a giant tattoo on his bicep which no matter what shirt we get him to try on, it still so obvious "glowing" through the fabric. Normally I dont notice it but even his mum is now in panic about how we might make it a little less obvious. It really is enormous and was something his delightful ex girlfriend got him to have done. Can anyone recommend somewhere I can buy a shirt that might give a good coverage? Bearing in mind our wedding is in July and will therefore be hot... Or have any of you had the same issue and found a way to cover it up a bit? Obviously make up wont work as it will get all over his white shirt. I might sound a cow but our lovely little country fete vintage wedding theme doesnt really suit the enormous bright blue tattoo.

Also, bridesmaids... one of them has a neat little black aztex sun on the nape of her neck (her own mother despaired when this was on show at her wedding 5 years ago... so its not just me at least...) anyway, this can be covered by the hair style they are having on the day, not an issue. SIL2B has a rather large tatoo on the bottom of her back, which if we get a dress that is lined it wont show through, although we are having pastel coloured dresses so it has so far been hard to find one as her tattoo is quite dark and also large. Then there is the 3rd of the bridesmaids who has tattoos. I think she has maybe 5, but except for one on her shoulder the others are all in areas that will be well covered and they are quite small and dont show... BUT I saw her yesterday and she proudly showed me her new tattoo... a hot pink lego brick on the top of her foot!! Her new boyfriend has had a matching blue one on his foot also. Its pretty big to be honest and its literally hot pink!! I didnt even know that you could get a tattoo in this colour?! Yes its her body and none of my business etc etc and I dont want to sound like a prude or a cow (I am just scared of needles so I dont even have my ears pierced let alone be able to sit through a tattoo being done!) but can I ask her to cover it on the day? And if so, is there any sort of special make up that I can get? What would you do? Please dont think I am being a cow, its just, well, its bright pink and very obvious! I dont want to upset her, or even worse fall out but the other bridesmaids (including one with a tattoo herself) agree that as it is in such an obvious place she should cover it up.

Help!!!

Posts

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    My husband bought a decent quality shirt to wear from Charles Tyrwhitt, they are thicker cotton shirt, he wears them for work anyway so it made sense to just buy a decent one rather than the thin ones you get with the suits

    As for your BMs you can ask them to cover with makeup but their reaction might not be the one you want.... 

  • mrshughes2013mrshughes2013 Posts: 2,063

    My bridesmaid has a massive one on her back that was in all the photos but never bothered me as its part of her

    if you ask them to cover up etc don't be surprised if you lose friends as you like them for who they are not what they look like

  • BexgreenBexgreen Posts: 505
    Sorry i agree with mrshughes2013 - tatoos are a part of someone that can mean a lot to someone and if someone asked me to cover mine (i have two) then i would be completely peed off. My brother has a full sleeve and would never dream of asking him to cover them!



    But each to their own.
  • JodielouJodielou Posts: 4,058

    Why does it matter if other people in the wedding party have tattoos? I'm not being funny, I really just don't get it image

    I don't have tattoos (bit of a plain Jane myself!) but one of my bridesmaids had a couple of tattoos, small facial piercings and bright red hair on my wedding day! I would never have dreamed of asking her to change her appearance/ who she is just so that she fit in with my idea of what's 'pretty' etc.

    Just to play devil's advocate... how would you feel if you were a bridesmaid and the bride asked you to make your appearance more 'edgy' in order to fit in with her unconventional wedding? Having your hair in a style you didn't feel comfortable with or wearing loads of temporary tattoos? It's kind of the same thing...

    Re. shirts, my husband has a small tattoo and lots of chest hair (Yuk! image) and he finds that white shirts that have a weave or a stripe through them give that bit more coverage xx

    Something like this:

    http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_080010855980_-1

     

  • tinkymootinkymoo Posts: 419

    3 of my bmaids have tattoos. One has asked for a fur shrug to cover hers on her arms ad she now regrets them.. so all 4 now have fur shrugs. I have tattoos but always had them where they can be hidden ( my pref) to be honest im not bothered if they are on show or not and they are part of my girls!! Love them warts and all lol!  We asked them to be in our wedding party as they are important to us not because they will look pretty in the wedding pics. 

    On the flip side a friend of mine who was a bride had hers covered with that make up stuff professionally.. it looked awful! And started to come off by the end of the night. X

  • Tattoos are the elegant way to show your mod personality.I love tattoos they make me smile image

  • MrsA6MrsA6 Posts: 962 New bride

    Totally understand that not everyone is into tattoos - each to their own - but tattoos are a huge part of society today, and a lot of people who have them see them as part of their identity and could take offence to being asked to cover them up. Have to agree with Jodie, how would you feel if you were asked to change your appearance to fit in with someone else's idea of 'normal'?

    When you asked your BM's to be a part of your day, you must have known they had tattoos?? And if this one particular BM had 5, chances are that she was going to have more, they are a bit addictive!  

    Personally it didn't ever cross my mind to ask any of my BM's to cover theirs (2 of my 5 had tattoos on display, one with a nose piercing and another with her lip pierced) - especially as i have 2 myself and a lip piercing, and my husband is in the process of having a full sleeve on one arm, half of which was done before our wedding - we'd have looked a tad hypocritical image 

    I guess you have to ask yourself what's more important, having your loved ones as part of your day, or having the odd bit of tattoo showing up on photos? xx

  • Thanks all for feedback. I will leave the bridesmaid be with the tattoo, I am sure her foot wone feature too highly in our wedding photosimage And I will try Charles Thyrwitt for a good mens shirt for the groom... please dont think thats me being bridezilla and wanting him to cover up who he is... its just an ex girlfriend inspired tattoo, so in all honesty that one probably shouldnt be too prominent at our wedding. And he does regret that one so he has himself even talked about having it removed (which I have said no, dont do that)

    Thank you x

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    My hubby didnt want his to show through the shirt, not that he doesnt like them but he just didnt think they'd look nice on the day.  I have a massive back piece which was visible and I dont think anyone batted an eyelid. 

  • Manfaw, of course his tattoo is up to him and he doesnt want it on show particularly, which is totally his choice. He has another one too, on his back, but this is the name of his late sister and I would never ever want him to cover that. Just wonder if there are shirts with a thicker sleeve. His mum originally bought the issue up as she doesnt like the one on his arm.

  • manfawmanfaw Posts: 2,756

    Yeah the Charles T shirts totally cover any black in the tattoos so they're worth investing in

  • Fab, thank you!

  • VicNVicN Posts: 1,352

    Might be a daft idea, but could your H2B cover it up with some kind of gauze plaster under his shirt sleeve if he wants to hide it? You can get flesh-coloured ones I believe, and shouldn't really show through a shirt? Better than him having to wear a thick shirt in July...?

  • moonpiemoonpie Posts: 166

    I have a lot of tattoos, some hidden, some not-so-hidden. I have worked jobs in the past where I have had to cover them up, but wasn't able to wear clothes to cover them and there is special make up that you can get to cover them that I used to use- it's the same make up that is used to cover dark blemishes, scars and birthmarks. You can get it in chemists or online.

    To be honest I think the reaction that you get from the bridesmaids will depend on the bridesmaids, your relationships with them, and the relationships that they have with their tattoos. Three of my bridesmaids have small tattoos, they are pretty but don't have any strong meaning to them. I have no problem with asking my bridesmaids to cover up their tattoos as I plan on covering mine as well (and I have a lot more) and I know that they will be easy enough for us all to cover up and don't hold any significant meaning that means they will feel upset not to have them on show. I have other friends with far bigger tattoos who I would never ask to cover them up as I know how important they are to them.

    I think it's just something you would need to make your own judgement on based on the people involved but there's nothing wrong in considering asking them to cover them up. Yes, tattoos are a part of who we are, but so is how we dress and style our hair and we have no problem asking bridesmaids to do those things a certain way on the day. Think how your friends would feel about it and judge the situation for yourself.

  • I also don't like tattoos, my fiancé has a full sleeve but I love him and I really don't think anyone else will care what is on his arms. does it really matter that much? As for the bridesmaids I think they'd be offended? 

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    One of my bridesmaids has a tattoo above her right breast, I haven't mentioned covering it up but I would rather it was not on view. She isn't too keen on it and tried to cover it on her wedding day. I was going to ask my photographer to airbrush it out if possible, as I know she edits her photographs.

  • y5c6y5c6 Posts: 467

    With regards to your h2b, if he actually doesn't want it on show, as others have said there is good tattoo coverup makeup available to purchase which will do the trick to an extent... but depending on the colour of his shirt you might just end up with a very makeup covered sleeve! As far as him mentioning lazer removal, personally i think you have no right to tell him no. It is his body, his decision and lazer removal is very successful these days with no scarring or damaged tissue as long as you seek out a licensed clinic and don't just go to the nearest place offering tattoo removal.  In relation to your bridesmaids, they each have tattoos for their own personal reasons and the tattoos are part of who they are. If i were ever asked to be a bridesmaid but were then asked to cover up my tats or have them airbrushed out I would be quite offended and would decline the offer of bridesmaid. Too many people in this world are becoming too judgemental of others appearances, especially when it comes to not conforming with what media dictates is the 'norm'. 

  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    My OH has tattoos and so does my bridesmaid, it never occured to me to ask them to cover them on our wedding day - I don't have any right or reason to ask for them to change a part of themselves on any other day so why is it any different for a wedding?

    How would you feel if your H2B asked you to change your physical apperance because your look didn't 'fit'? I'm sure you'd be gutted and upset, this is no different.

    Just because an ex chose his tattoo shouldn't make it an issue, that makes you sound quite jealous and a little paranoid - so what if she chose the tattoo, you're getting married, it's irrelevant

    I think you need to take a step back and remember why you're getting married, and why you've asked them to be bridesmaids - not because of photos or dresses or flowers or anything, but because you love your H2B and bridemaids, tattoos and all!!

    Also, if your H2B does want to get lazer removal anyway, again, why is it your business to say no? image It's his body, it's not for you to say

  • I don't think she's trying to tell him he can't have it removed, I read that more as her telling him not to do it for her or that it wasn't nessecary. It sounds like he's as bothered about it has her, rather than her telling him he has to cover it. I don't like tattoos either - I just don't think they look good. I work with a few people with tatoos and they always cover them up for work as it is what is expected, so I don't see why covering them up for a wedding or other formal event should be different (I also know brides who covered their own).

    it is difficult to ask someone to do it though as, clearly, some people could be really offended by it. I don't think many people will notice the lego brick though.

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