Massive need of a vent...

Brace yourselves ladies... I will try and be brief!

I'm done with this planning lark. Done. I'm just done. I love the fact I am getting married, I love my partner so much I can't comprehend it. I love how happy he makes me everyday. But I want this flipping wedding to be over with. I am done nagging people, chasing people, dealing with family politics, being blamed for stupid things, making inane decisions about the stupidist stuff.

I think I had a moment of madness last week when I actually shed tears over table number stands. Not the table numbers (lovely stationer who has been very accommodating, would seriously recommend her to anyone!) but the stands. The stands the table numbers will go in. No one will notice them, no one will pay them any notice whatsoever but it suddenly became my job to chase up where they are coming from, who is providing them, what height, type, size and colour they are. I feel am a relatively intelligent human, who on earth has to put actual brain power into this inane nonsense???? Brides. Thats who. As soon as someone asks you to make a decision about anything, the "Well if its not right it will be in my wedding photos/memory/my family's memory for all eternity" thoughts creep in and it suddenly feels make or break. Maybe I am the only one here... but I am flipping sick of it!

I am also in the middle of teacher training at the moment which is not ideal to say the least! That can be incredibly stressful at times and I am dreading next term when I will be doing masters level research and in the final throes of wedding planning AT THE SAME TIME. Must just remember to breathe and remember doing the wedding this year was my idea in the first place...

All of the above is making me somewhat tired and a little over wrought at times so now feel like everyone is treating me like I am clinically depressed and patronising me with "Are you ok?" every two seconds meaning I feel the need to be overly perky to reassure them which in turn makes me even more tired and guilty for making them feel bad!

Good god I need to shut my brain up!!

Hows it going ladies???

Posts

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    Delegate if you can, I know lots of people that have done teacher training and just having that to do pushed them to near breaking point at times. 

    Decide what matters and try and do it at set times/days, and have some none wedding admin days.

    We have been so relaxed we have lots left to do, but are realizing we haven't done those bits because we don't care about them.

  • I feel your pain! I'm exactly the same. I don't even feel like a person anymore and all I'm doing is stressing about the smallest little things. Nothing is going right at all.. and if anything it's all just getting worst. My wedding is still a good few months away, so I don't even have an end in sight. 

    I'm sorry I can't offer you any good advice, because I'm finding it difficult to cope. Even trying to imagine life after the wedding is so difficult, and I would have thought that would have been good advice. So, it's not advice, but it's reassurance that you're not alone in feeling like this. xxx

  • MrsP2B74MrsP2B74 Posts: 56

    Ha, I think most brides feel like this at one time or another.  All sounds normal to me.  I have said on more than one occasion "we should've gone abroad"! I get married in 7 weeks and feel guilty that I'm not excited yet when it seems everyone expects me to be.  I will be nearer the time but like you I have had enough of planning and we only got engaged in November, thank god it's a short engagement!!!

    My married friends assure me that come the day it will all be worth it and I will be glad of the effort I have put in to make our day special.  Let's chill out, take a deep breath and enjoy it as it will be over soon enough and then we won't know what to do with ourselves!!!image

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    I am sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed atm. Teacher training is really intense as there are never enough hours in the day. Its important to remember to look after yourself as it can take over. It wasn't until two years of teaching I realised that I needed to ensure I got enough sleep and have some 'me' time. It has got to be one of the most rewarding jobs though. I am a Technology teacher and I love standing back and watching pupils I have taught for a few years, using the skills I have taught them image Are you enjoying it?

    I 'cracked' a few weeks ago about bridesmaid dresses. I have always been told that I am very level headed and calm. Think it was a bit of a shock for my FMIL!! But we are all human and had a good laugh at myself. Felt better afterwards image

    Would it be possible to have a little break from planning? Have a weekend off, just the two of you?

  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    I know it's hard, but try to relax, I went into a mood of f**k it all! and gave up caring! nobody else did so y don't i type thing.

    have a bath and make lists then talk to your mum, oh, bms and tell them how u feel and ask if they can help with anything

    and if it makes you feel better u can read my story to cheer u up a bit?

    i know how u feel, it will pass eventually, unfortunately it might not pass till after the wedding but just remember it it will all be over soon, it's what I told myself frequently x

    http://forum.scottishweddingdirectory.co.uk/showthread.php?26771-I-need-major-help-with-inlaws!(and-BM) 

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    I feel your pain. I'm just bored with it all now tbh.

    Sigh.

  • Mrs pickleMrs pickle Posts: 319

    I AM going abroad and it hasn't been any easier. Absolute nightmare! The number of times I've said "I knew there was a reason I wanted to get married just the 2 of us" lol image

  • Victoria25Victoria25 Posts: 250

    I completely understand how you feel!

    Just over a month ago we found out we wouldn't be getting money towards a mortgage which we were promised (long story!) so I went into a total meltdown! I felt like we were wasting money on a wedding when we should be saving for our own place instead. I was so upset and even now I'm no where near as excited for the wedding as I was before.

    My advice would just be to take a break from it all if you can. Having a week or 2 where you don't think about the wedding at all might help. I think it calmed me down a bit. 

  • amyeamye Posts: 168

    Err, Meggymoo don't spam when someone's in need of help...

    Quellerosiel, sounds like you need a break. Deep breaths. Nice having a place to vent though isn't it? I just had a mini meltdown with tears over guest list problems. Sorry, I don't really have any advice, I just hope you feel better soon xxx

  • MrsC2bXXMrsC2bXX Posts: 16

    Ladies, I'm so glad it's not just me that has a weekly melt down over the slightest thing! I feel guilty about moaning about it all, but sometimes we just need a rant to get it off our chest! H2B says I'm a worrier and over react over things anyway. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have the perfect day, and I'm sure everything will go smoothly in the end ... So much hard work and planning goes into it all, we need to make sure we enjoy ourselves xx

     

  • NowMrsH2014NowMrsH2014 Posts: 345

    I can assure you, i will not be doing all this again lol!!

  • Spam88Spam88 Posts: 1,001

    Oh no, I really feel for you image  You should be able to enjoy wedding planning, not get stressed out by it!  If there's too much, or there's things that you aren't particularly bothered about, then delegate.  Having said that, I'm a nightmare control freak and have been unable to delegate anything.  My mum and SIL came to visit for a weekend to help me with invitations and I let them cut string and punch out hearts.  My MOH asked if she could make the guest book as a gift and I almost had a coronary at the thought of not being in control of what it looks like (as if it flipping matters!).  So yes, not sure what I was getting at there except that we're all crazy, and shouldn't be.

    Seriously though, you're doing amazingly planning a wedding whilst doing your teacher training.  I did teacher training a few years back and barely found time to sleep and eat!  The stress of the training is quite enough without a wedding to plan on top of it, so seriously, you are AMAZING!  Also, if it helps, I totally made up my research project.  And I am not ashamed.

    Take an evening off, drink some wine and relax with your fiancé image

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