Hen party worries

Hi, I wondered if anyone can help me or has been in the same situation.

My friend is organising my hen party for me. I don't have a very big friend base so its just 8 of us. I don't drink so a big night out is pointless but I also suffer from panic attacks so high adrenalin isn't my thing either.

I had settled on a day out in the summer, go into the city then ten pin bowling and a few drinks in a beer garden in the sun and a nice meal.

She has now told me that's not what she wants to do and has other plans that involve just the evening because everyone else wants a night out afterwards. Am I wrong to be upset that my original plans have changed so much and how do I say something without sounding ungrateful?



  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    yes you have every right to be upset! i personally prefer your idea! my hubby was forced into going to amsterdam for a weekend and he doesnt drink or do drugs so all he had for sunn was strippers which are expensive and he didnt have a great time - the other boys did tho - but thats not tha point!

    maybe you could say that you would prefer a more relaxed day an dthey can go out after but money is an issue for all of you and you dont want it to be like a normal saturday night up the town etc?

    could you maybe say your mum or a younger family member is poping along and so  its not appropriate?

    sorry i cant give more advice - its your hen tho not hers or anyone elses

  • MrsKGMrsKG Posts: 403

    Yes I would say something if I was you. While some people might want to use your hen do to go on a drunken night out, if it's not your style or what you want to do you should say so. You only get one hen do and it's absolutely not fair for you not to enjoy yourself on it.

    I would maybe take your friend to one side and explain you are not comfortable with the changes to your day and the thought of it is making you anxious. If she is a friend who knows about your panic attacks maybe explain that to her too - a real friend will want you to have the best time doing something you will enjoy.

  • Speccy4eyesSpeccy4eyes Posts: 2,050

    Don't worry about the small friend base, there's only two of us on my hen do....for various reasons

    When My friend took it upon herself to plan, I told her think classy not trashy, she knows I wouldnt appeciate strippers or mass drinking

    All I know about mine is that it involves something girlie, something chocolately and something fun

    I know we are eating at a venue where we are doing an activity....... God knows what that it.......... We are also going out at night for a little knees up but without the mass drinking
    I would seriously consider a sit down with your friends and remind them that this is your last big Single girl night/day and it should reflect your personality and preferences

  • Victoria25Victoria25 Posts: 250

    They can go out any time of the year!  

    You are well within your rights to be upset.  You need to tell her that while you appreciate her organising the day you just don't want to have a heavy evening afterwards.  It would be unfair for you not to feel entirely comfortable on your hen do.

  • Spam88Spam88 Posts: 1,001

    I think you definitely need to sit down and have a chat with her about what you want.  Has she told you what the new plans are?  Tell her that, as she knows, you're not into big nights out so you don't want to do that, but you don't mind everyone else going out afterwards (assuming you don't??).  But explain to her that you'd like to make sure you spend plenty of time with everyone in the day before they go out.  It doesn't need to be anything expensive and I think your original idea sounded lovely image

    Just have an honest chat with her and I'm sure she'll want to change things to make sure you're happy!

    If not, sack her image

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