Mother In Law Issue

Sorry Guys, just need to vent to people who might be in the same situation. My MIL is driving me mental concerning Hen Night #1 and has just taken control.

I'm having my main Hen Night with all my friends in July but my MIL wanted to be involved so I opted for a low key, low cost, day session close to home. No fuss no nothing so it would be cheap, cheerful and people could spend as much or as little as they like with only £7.50 to pay in advance for a pre-planned buffet lunch. This is ideal as some girls are doing both events and other people are in situations where they can't spend a lot and whats more important to me is my mum is not in a position to be spending a lot and on that basis alone I am so pleased she is coming. As the MIL has 2 sons I wanted her to feel involved and when she offered to book the lunch I thought, great that's lovely thank you. Now she's booking a class without checking with everyone they can afford to pay for it/want to do it, 2 out of my 3 bridesmaids don't even know its all confirmed and my H2B has been great in previously telling her that its not something I want to do at all and not how I want the day to be. She said she would cancel but now I find out she hasn't and has continued to keep it booked, completely not listening to H2B.

I appreciate her heart is in the right place and that she wants to plan something nice for me and although its supposed to be a surprise one of my bridesmaids who does know about it has told me knowing this is completely not what I want. How do I tell the MIL without hurting her feelings? Help!


  • Hi,

    I had a similar issue although rather then it being MIL it was MOH getting to carried away and booking things that not only I didn't really like but also that was too expensive!

    I ended up having a very 'casual' conversation with her saying how tight things are for people at this time, and also mentioning how expensive weddings can be for guests let alone family.. and that to me the important thing about the hen do was that it was chilled out and cheap.. more dropping MASSIVE hints rather then just saying it outright, and then when she said about changing what she had planned it was as if it was her idea..

    I don't know if this has helped, just thought I would share my experience!


  • Thanks MrsManners2b I'm glad it's not just me that has had a problem with people taking charge. The nice approach hasn't worked has H2B has directly told her its not what I want and that hasn't worked. Its tricky because I'm not supposed to know but I think that's going to have be ignored now and just tell her.

  • Sometimes it's the only way!!

    Once the original plans for mine were changed (from party buses, strippers, pole dancing lessons etc..all this with an age range of girls from 18-76!) I ended up planning it and pretending to all the guests other then my MOH I didn't know about it!!!

    I am probably one of the extreme cases with hen do's...I was quite glad when mine was over to be honest although it was a brilliant night, just added stress!


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