So last week OH went to see his dad who dropped a bombshell that he is thinking of only staying at the wedding for an hour as he is unhappy about who is marrying us. FIL has previously mentioned he felt he didnt know what was happening with the wedding, so at Christmas we were chatting about it and I mentioned about the person marrying us has a bit of a shady past- something i found out when googling for reviews. This did not affect me in any way- we had already met with him, paid our deposit and he had done the first draft of our script for the ceremony- i was very happy with having him marry us. I naively thought that others would share the same views- i used the story as a talking point and of a bit of a fun fact.
When telling me this, OH also said that he had an issue with it, but had not told me as he did not want to upset me, he felt I had my heart set on things and would be unwilling to change. To say I was upset was an understatement. I did not want to give in to his dad, I felt he was being very childish and to make such a big deal of something which in effect had no impact on him or his enjoyment of our wedding. But OH and I spoke about changing things, but I was very angry. I have been doing most of the planning and felt OH was happy about this. I told him if he wants to change things, then its him that's doing the work. I have done too much to just go back on decisions and starting again. He can do my job and take over.
I confided in my parents about it, who were very concerned. Not only was there no communication to OH to me about things that he was unhappy about, they were suspicious to FIL saying the things he did over an issue, my parents agree, is very small and trivial. They think that he has other things on his mind that he must have issue with to say he will only be there for an hour- OH is his only son.
As I said, this was last week. I wanted OH to go over right away to talk to him about it, but he has been dragging his heels. He has also not done anything about changing who is going to marry us. I'm the type of person who wants to sort an issue as soon as it arises, I don't want to wait and see if it blows over. I refuse to see or speak to his dad until I have more information. I will end up making it worse by being completely honest with my feelings, something which will not go down too well with his dad (just the type of person he is). And now, OH is also reluctant to speak to me about it. I know he is upset by the thought his dad will not stay for the whole day, and whenever I bring up the topic he just says he will deal with it.
To add to things, his sister - who knew about the issues his dad had long before us- is now saying that OH's mum is feeling she is not being involved (his parents are divorced). This makes no sense to me at all, as we see each other frequently and she knows EVERYTHING we have been doing. My mum thinks they need something to do, but as this point I really don't have anything they can help with.
I just feel everything was going so well and now I just don't know how to deal with his family and their issues...