It was all going so well...

SO... 10 days to go and the wedding is planned to military precision. Lists a-plenty and we actually have a relaxing few days ahead. Until ... why oh why oh why do all these little niggles happen now?! I know these are small-fry compared to some of the threads on here but my OH is getting narked with my ranting so I need to let off steam to you lovely ladies.

Rant No 1 (sounds like a Spandau Ballet song) - so when we sent the STDs and invites to one of OH's friends who lives in Holland, we addressed them to 'John'. When the RSVP came back we were a tad surprised to find that he'd invited his girlfriend and already booked their flights and hotels! I was furious but we managed to squeeze her in. Begrudgingly. We now get an email from him saying she has broken her leg and is in a wheelchair and may not be able to come - and won't be able to confirm til the week before! So a guest we haven't invited is causing us grief and we now may need to move other guests around - and the table plan is sealed. Grrr. If she was an 'invited' guest I'd be OK about it but...

Rant No 2 - this Dutch guest has now told us he has not bought us a present from our gift list as he wanted to give us a surprise. Er.. we don't want surprises, we have asked for specific things (I don't think I'd be so miffed about this if it wasn't for the non-invited girlfriend situation). I know I sound like an ungrateful brat about this so please tell me off. However, if it is anything windmill-related I shall be forced to ebay it.

Rant No 3 - as a wedding present for OH I got my nipple pierced (I've had them both done before with no problems and he has wanted me to get one done again for yonks). However, it has got infected, I've had to take it out and am on 2 lots of antibiotics. I can actually see the funny side of this now (but it hurts like buggery!)

Rant No 4 - a very good friend has not RSVP'd STILL with 10 days to go. He has spilt up with his boyfriend after 13 years so I know he has a lot on, but I need to confirm numbers this Saturday!

Rant No 5 - my sister (MOH) is inviting random friends to the service. There is no room! I don't want strangers seeing me weep!

Rant No 6 - why won't the choir and band answer emails!

Rant No 7 - why is Game of Thrones starting the week before my wedding?!

I think that's it for now. These are minor issues, I know, but I'm the most organised person in the world and it drives me nuts when other people aren't.

Please tell me I'm being an idiot and slap me to pull me to my senses.

Thank you and goodbye.

Vx

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  • leah jadeleah jade Posts: 70

    I would tell you that you are an idiot and slap you as you have asked but I really don't think you deserve it. You are right, these are minor things to a regular person but you are the bride to be and this will possibly be one of the most important days of your life! It's our prerogative as brides to be to have a good moan and no matter how hard we try, we can't help but worry over the small things. On the day, the last thing you will be worrying about is whether or not an uninvited guest will or wont turn up. You will be enjoying your day! I'm sure things will work out, just try and enjoy some time relaxing before the big day (as much as you can anyway). All the best xxxx

  • leah jadeleah jade Posts: 70

    P.S tell the MOH where to stick it inviting people to YOUR wedding service... I would xxx

  • Speccy4eyesSpeccy4eyes Posts: 2,050
    MrsVJB2B wrote (see)

    SO... 10 days to go and the wedding is planned to military precision. Lists a-plenty and we actually have a relaxing few days ahead. Until ... why oh why oh why do all these little niggles happen now?! I know these are small-fry compared to some of the threads on here but my OH is getting narked with my ranting so I need to let off steam to you lovely ladies.

    Rant No 1 (sounds like a Spandau Ballet song) - so when we sent the STDs and invites to one of OH's friends who lives in Holland, we addressed them to 'John'. When the RSVP came back we were a tad surprised to find that he'd invited his girlfriend and already booked their flights and hotels! I was furious but we managed to squeeze her in. Begrudgingly. We now get an email from him saying she has broken her leg and is in a wheelchair and may not be able to come - and won't be able to confirm til the week before! So a guest we haven't invited is causing us grief and we now may need to move other guests around - and the table plan is sealed. Grrr. If she was an 'invited' guest I'd be OK about it but...

    Rant No 2 - this Dutch guest has now told us he has not bought us a present from our gift list as he wanted to give us a surprise. Er.. we don't want surprises, we have asked for specific things (I don't think I'd be so miffed about this if it wasn't for the non-invited girlfriend situation). I know I sound like an ungrateful brat about this so please tell me off. However, if it is anything windmill-related I shall be forced to ebay it.

    Rant No 3 - as a wedding present for OH I got my nipple pierced (I've had them both done before with no problems and he has wanted me to get one done again for yonks). However, it has got infected, I've had to take it out and am on 2 lots of antibiotics. I can actually see the funny side of this now (but it hurts like buggery!)

    Rant No 4 - a very good friend has not RSVP'd STILL with 10 days to go. He has spilt up with his boyfriend after 13 years so I know he has a lot on, but I need to confirm numbers this Saturday!

    Rant No 5 - my sister (MOH) is inviting random friends to the service. There is no room! I don't want strangers seeing me weep!

    Rant No 6 - why won't the choir and band answer emails!

    Rant No 7 - why is Game of Thrones starting the week before my wedding?!

    I think that's it for now. These are minor issues, I know, but I'm the most organised person in the world and it drives me nuts when other people aren't.

    Please tell me I'm being an idiot and slap me to pull me to my senses.

    Thank you and goodbye.

    Vx

    Oh babe I have had a giggle at this I do apologise

    Rant 1 leading to 2......... Well I'd be well peeved too, so you are well within your right to moan here

    Rant 3.... Well thats a whole different kind of wedding pressie but each to their own.... Hope the dress won't aggravate the......areaimage

    Rant 4 Drop your friend a line, how are you, what you up to kind of thing and slip in 'oh will we see you on such and such a date.... I'm sure you have RSVP'd but I'm up to my eyes and can't seem to find it, you get your answer and he won't feel pressured

    Rant 5... Kick her ass in sisterly fashion.......... what is it with people who suddenly think they have the right to invite who they like just because they are part of the bridal party....cheeky mare

    Rant 6.... Why don't they answer?..... This is the eternal mystery of the world.... Why do they make us wait.... If you find out the answer, please share it with me

    Rant 7.... Because they either wanna make

  • I think you are being perfectly reasonable, with the exception of the gift from the Dutch person. You should invite people to your wedding because you want them to share the day with you, not because you want to get something out of it. I do think it's incredibly bad form to not only insist that everybody buy something, but also to further insist that it is from a very specific list of things. Perhaps he wants to get you something a little more personal, or perhaps he has already spent his disposable money on the flight tickets to get to the venue.

    Of course, that doesn't change the fact that it was rude of him to invite someone without first asking if that was okay - maybe that's a cultural difference? I don't think there would be anything wrong with getting your OH to write an email to him to say something along the lines of:

    "I'm really sorry to hear about your girlfriend, how did she break the leg? Is she okay? I understand that the timing of this might be a little awkward considering that you must be worried about your girlfriend being in pain, but we do need to point out that we have to confirm the numbers on saturday - this is so we do not lose money catering for someone who will not be there, or by contrast, not feeding someone who will be there! I would also very gently point out that it is considered bad etiquette to invite an additional guest to a wedding without first checking with the bride and groom - we have managed to arrange everything so that there is no problem with your girlfriend attending, and of course she will be made to feel completely welcome at the wedding (and we look forward to meeting her!). At the same time, the fact that you had bought the flights without first checking with us did put us in a very awkward situation at the beginning. All the best, and our thoughts are with your girlfriend! Good luck with the airport metal detectors!"

    I personally don't think that manners need to prevent people from being honest when people do shitty things, provided you try and be civil about it, and also take into account anything stressful currently going on in their own life.

    I AM ALSO SO EXCITED ABOUT THE NEW GOT SEASON STARTING!!! CAN'T WAIT!!! 

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Well there is a rant update - my friend is coming to the whole day so hurrah,I'm thrilled about that.

    Also we have decided how to cope with the wheelchair if the uninvited guest does come, which is actually better.

    Re the giftlist - I do understand we want guests not presents but it is manners and etiquette to bring a gift (please don't anyone respond to this bit as I do not want to engage in a discussion on this!).

    However rant no 8 - I have broken a nail

  • Speccy4eyesSpeccy4eyes Posts: 2,050
    MrsVJB2B wrote (see)

    Well there is a rant update - my friend is coming to the whole day so hurrah,I'm thrilled about that.

    Also we have decided how to cope with the wheelchair if the uninvited guest does come, which is actually better.

    Re the giftlist - I do understand we want guests not presents but it is manners and etiquette to bring a gift (please don't anyone respond to this bit as I do not want to engage in a discussion on this!).

    However rant no 8 - I have broken a nail

    there's always more lol

    Good news on the friend.... one less thing to worry about

  • god i totally sympathise with you here! i too have been mega organised and have had zero stress so far but the closer it gets the more stupid little things come up! so far all my stresses have been silly and not worth stressing about, everything sorts itself out in the end but... i also dont understand why people take so long to rsvp!! x

  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    I've found a good way of chasing RSVP's....

    "Hello, we're tallying up our replies and have received a wedding acceptance but there is no name on it, might it be yours?'

    I've used it three times on single guys (who I knew would be useless!) and each one has gone, 'ah, it's not mine but I really should do that!'. Works a treat!

    As for everything else, I would be equally as peed off and stressed about these things and I'm sure I'll be on here looking for similar reassurance when it's 10 days before mine! but I am sure you'll see it will all be alright on the night. Some things will be out of your control but you'll still have a wonderful wedding xx

  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    as for the gift list i had one and people want to get me a 'personal' gift i.e. something cheap they thought they could palm off on me without a gift reciept therefore even thought i had a slow cooker on my list (and got it - very specific one to match the rest of kitchen applances) i got 3 more slow cookers without gift reciepts - i now have 4 (they were half price from morrisons - all are the same brand - not the one i picked). so if you are trying to build up a house getting the thing u want/need from a list is better than 2 toasters, 8 sets of mugs (i dont even drink tea or coffee) etc especially when a list has stuff from £1.50 - 100. its the polite thing to do - i wouldnt go to somebodys house without a small gift never mind a £50 per head wedding

    sorry slight rant to say i agree with u and glad u got the friend coming - as for nail start using healthy hoofs nail treatment

     

  • MrsLJC2bMrsLJC2b Posts: 451

    definitely agree in part about the gift list.  Are there still cheap things available? I've bought 'off list' (e.g. some pretty photo frames) a couple of times when cheaper things weren't left anymore - I couldn't afford the £60 for a designer kettle. Maybe he can't afford what's on there?

    I would check he's not clashing with anything already on the list. I had an awkward situation when a friend bought a grill for me as a gift because she didn't want to use the gift list (!?), however there was actually a grill on the list (and a better model than she had bought!) which someone purchased, so I ended up with two, expect hers was the less advanced one! I had to ask her for the receipt so I could take it back and change for something else, otherwise it would've been wasted! 

    A personal gift is nice though image

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Thank you to the lovely ladies who have responded and made me realise I'm not being over sensitive (apart from my tit which is still really really sore image) It's weird how I thought things like step-daughters would annoy me but it's the trivial things which have wound me up! 

    A personal gift will be ok unless it is made of Edam. oh God! a windmill made of Edam! Nooooo!

  • BanariBanari Posts: 1,847

    I literally just laughed out loud at the windmill made from Edam - classic - not that I want him to get you that but it'd be hilarious if he did! image although I think you'll be safe as I don't think they exist - although a talented person could carve one out, for your sake I hope he is not an artist image

    Can't believe your only 10 days away - it's come round so fast!

  • Lynsey ShawLynsey Shaw Posts: 517

    Windmill make from Edam...LMAO!  

     

  • If he gives you a windmill made of edam you can give it to me!!! I LOVE edam!!!!!

     

    A cheese windmill!!! Best gift ever!

  • SofiaF82SofiaF82 Posts: 177

    "However, if it is anything windmill-related I shall be forced to ebay it."

     

    This made me actually-physically lol!

  • SongbirdsingsSongbirdsings Posts: 1,290

    Well, I have laughed!image  Poor mrsVJB2B.... I'm sorry for your stress/pain (But you do write a very amusing thread!) Peoples cheek never ceases to surprise (uninvited wheelchair guest). 

    Laurapj....what a clever idea! image

    Hydrogirl...omg, 4 slow cookers! And from Morrisons image

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Hello ladies - I'm glad I have raised a titter amongst you (deliberate pun in my current condition...).

    I PROMISE that if I receive a windmill/Edam/clog based gift I shall stop the reception, photograph it and upload it forthwith. In fact, I rather hope I do get something obscure now as it will have meaning - I will even change my icon to a snap of it.

    We have decided to put univited-wheelchair-guest (if she comes) in the buffet room so her giant protruding leg will not be a health and safety hazard. (We have 16 extra guests who will be having a posh hot buffet during the  reception). Hurrah for health and safety for giving me an excuse to banish the interloper! Hurrah for antibiotics! Hurrah for this forum!

  • SongbirdsingsSongbirdsings Posts: 1,290

    image  Ha! That sounds like a plan image At least the plaster cast and wheelchair have given you the perfect excuse to put her elsewhere! Presumably, if she's not in the wheelchair she is still destined for the buffet room.... I can just see you now looking SO sorry when you say how health and safety issues meant that there was just nothing else you could do. 

  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    If you get anything made of Edam, I will gladly 'destroy' it for you....I'm already expecting to devour most of our cheese wedding cake myself. Tis my weakness! Nom nom.

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Well I tried googling 'windmill' and 'cheese' to find a suitable gift to expect. Zilch.

    However, fear not! I hope I receive these beauties instead!

    image

    Will update you with uninvited-wheelchair-guest later.

    PS My tit still hurts

  • gina ggina g Posts: 397

    Wow MRSVJB2B that is all very stressful so close to your wedding, it really isn't what you need so close to the big day, I hope you are managing to get answers you need now.  I totally feel for you, I have 18 days left and am also getting stressed grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 

    MIL2B called me this week and has basically ordered a totally different menu, I would not mind but she could have send an RSVP and advised this, she didn't send one and we had our last meeting a few weeks ago which she did know, she then proceeded to tell me that she would like a buttonhole and so would her daughter (I was not getting these for the ladies).  This now means I need to know if my mum would like one as well the only thing is she does not know if she does as she has not decided on her outfit... arrgghhhhhhh arrghhhhhh arghhhhhh.  

    Why do these things come up so late in the day.

    I need to de-stress somehow....

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Gina G - haha, it's not really stressful, just annoying. I don't get why people so late in the day decide to tell you stuff - one guest only told me yesterday that she's a vegetarian!

    Re your buttonholes... do these people not realise this is adding costs too? YOUR costs?! I'm really lucky I haven't had any 'family' issues to deal with (just uninvited guest ones...) so the stress levels have been pretty low. Well until the email re peg-leg comes through later...

    Saying that, the antibiotics are making me weary so I need an evening watching TV. I have James Purefoy lined up, that'll do nicely.

  • gina ggina g Posts: 397

    Ha ha yes it is annoying - I am not sure why people leave things so late, lol just means extra re organizing that is all.   Re the buttonholes it is frustrating as yes it is additional cost when I am already over the budget it just keeps creeping up more and the thing is my the one wanting one I need to offer my mum one too.

    I am also creating more work for myself as i need to send my table plans by the weekend and I think I may tweak it again... my dad is coming and there are no hard feelings etc but I know if I ask opinions then he won't be in the right place - so do I just hope it is ok.

    Ohhh you will have to let us know what happens with Peg_leg.  are you exited about your big day and all prepared now? image

     

     

     

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Update from Peg-leg! They are still coming (boo) but will be sitting in the side/buffet room (hurrah). This ensures I will not have to 'accidently' knock her plastered leg or see an unknown face during the reception. Especially if she is sporting 'Heidi' plaits.

    I must sound like a dreadful person... perhaps I am, but SHE WASN'T INVITED! Raaaah!

    Now I just need to tell the photographer to air-brush her out of the pics... tee hee.

  • Speccy4eyesSpeccy4eyes Posts: 2,050

    PMSL @ heidi  plaits

    I think I just woke my little one with my loud laughter..... 

    Who would have thought we would be cheering for health and saftey ? its a weird world we live in

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372

    Speccy - sorry if I inadvertently woke your little one! Yes, good old health and safety - I shall never curse having to wear a hard hat in inappropriate places again. It's been a win-win all round for me as I never wanted this woman there, so instead of an £80 meal she's getting a £20 buffet.

    I think they call it karma. If I could high 5 you all now I would!

    (does liitle jig round the kitchen - carefully tho as tit is still not healed)

     

  • SadSack83SadSack83 Posts: 1,700

    In other good news, I found you a cheese-based windmill...

    image

     

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    oh mrsVJV2B! i feel sorry for you! slightly worrying that i still have just over a year to go, and feel like ive already had enough problems lol! hope i dont have many more to come!! xx

  • MrsVJB2BMrsVJB2B Posts: 372
    SadSack83 wrote (see)

    In other good news, I found you a cheese-based windmill...

    image

     

    OMG! That would be the best present ever! SadSack, I salute your diligence in seeking Dutch-based wedding gifts.

    Can anyone else rise to the challenge? (I feel this thread has a life of its own now. Hurrah)

  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    I've only been to Amsterdam and I'm afraid most of the 'gifts' I saw there aren't appropriate for this forum! Could probably find you something to accessorise with your piercing...

    I laughed at the airbrushing comment - I am already planning to point out to my photographer the people who are insignificant to me. Might sound harsh and I probably am too an awful person but I don't want my wedding album filled with pictures of friend's boyfriends I'm never going to meet again or family members I see once every 10 years (I didn't even want to invite these people in the first place)!

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