Am I being unreasonable?

Hi everyone. 

There is a lot of talk about stag dos at the moment and it is beginning to drive me a little bit nuts.  I am not sure whether my stressed wedding brain is getting the better of me or not, so just wanted your honest opinion.

The best man is doing a lot of the stag do organising which is great - he is H2B's best friend and quite a good friend of mine.  He asked me a while back if I would mind if they went to Amsterdam.  I said that I did not mind just as long as they took care of him. 

Anyway, H2B and BM came round last week and got absolutely off their heads.  I was not in the best of moods so took myself off to bed to watch the soaps at 8ish as did not want to spoil their evening.  Cut a long story short, at 1am I hear this hysterical laughter.  I come downstairs to see what is so funny, to find H2B throwing up everywhere.  H2B was grey in colour, could not stand, could not do anything and the BM was just laughing; oblivious to how ill he really was.  I had to stay with them for hours to get H2B in bed.  BM then started throwing up.  I was up all night, and with work the next day, was not happy. 

Since then, I have this huge fear of them going abroad.  They were absolutely incapable of doing anything and some of H2B's friends are even worse than those two.  I really want to ask them to keep the stag do in the UK now but am just soooooooo confused.

Please let me have your honest opinions and if you think I am being unreasonable, please tell me!!!!


  • MrsSkinkMrsSkink Posts: 54

    Maybe the best man is just a little immature.  Are there other people going on the stag that might take better care of him, like his Dad or older relatives? 

  • SarahL1408SarahL1408 Posts: 154

    Not really.  Best man, usher friend - who is by far the worst one of the lot, his brother (who he doesn't get on that great with) and another usher - who drinks far too much.  I don't know what the five of them together will be like. 

    No dads are going - just the five of them.  I have already tried convincing the dads to go and failed lol!


  • MrsSkinkMrsSkink Posts: 54

    Maybe have a word with H2B and let him know your concerns and ask him not to go over board.  Even if they had the stag do in the UK they may go a bit wild, the location would make no difference. Also have a word with the best man and let him know you are counting on him to keep an eye on h2b and not to let it get over board. I suppose in the safety of your home they may have gone overboard but in a different environment I'm sure they will all look out for each other 

  • You could speak to the BM and point out that after the last time at your house you are now a little worried about the stag do - you are justified after what happened at your house!

  • Purple rainPurple rain Posts: 926

    Don't really think the location matters. He could have his stag do next door and get ill. some lads when they get together just go overboard with the drinking. Tell him your concerns but they are all adults

  • sooz84sooz84 Posts: 378

    I get the same with my fiance sometimes. He has a tendency to not drink for ages and then go overboard and make himself ill. I'm usually there to look after him (it's only happened 2/3 times) but I understand why you would be concerned. It's not the going away that's the problem, it's the worry for their safety and well-being.

    Like others have said, maybe explain your concerns and make sure he knows it's not about him going away on his stag do, but that he knows you're genuinely concerned for his safety?


  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    i was really worried about this too as hubby doesnt drink and has never done drugs yet they HAD to go to amsterdam as the other boys are party animals - they were absolutly fine

    i think becuse they knew they had to be a bit responsiible with keys since they were abroad it wasnt bad

    however hubby went on his best mans stag last weekend where most of them were sick, got into fights (even with each other) and the stag disapeared and i had to join in till 3am on a man hunt (hubby didnt drink again). i think since its local or in a house men are more likely to act worse?

  • SarahL1408SarahL1408 Posts: 154

    Thank you so much for all your advice. 

    I spoke to H2B about it and he understood what I was saying.  They had already started to reconsider their plans and are now going on a camping trip which I personally think is much more my H2B!  I made it very clear that I did not want to get in the way of him doing what he wanted, but he is much more excited about going camping than he was going abroad.

    Again, thank you for your advice. 


  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    glad it worked out!

  • Phew - that sounds great!! I'm really glad that it all worked out and that everyone is happy!

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