Bridesmaid Drama

So.....I think I'm going to have to ask one of my bridesmaids, my so called friend, to now not be part of our wedding. At the weekend, she stole £50 from another bridesmaids purse. She's completely denying it, but her story doesn't match up with my other bridesmaid. I've been put in a really really difficult position. What to I do arrhgghh?? There's no way I want someone to be next to me on my wedding day who has stolen! She's totally let me down and I feel like an idiot for even considering her as one of my closest friends. Help?!?!


  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    Eeek, difficult one. Are you absolutely certain it was stolen and not lost? And definitely by her?

  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    maybe have a quiet word with her? yes she may have stolen it but is it due to her having money troubles there might be something else going on - dont act rash and possibly regret it later

  • JodielouJodielou Posts: 4,058

    I think, if neither of you are completely sure that she did take the money (i.e someone actually saw her with the purse) you have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Stranger things have happened than money going unexplicably missing, and I think it would be wise take a step back from the situation before throwing any accusations around... you need to be realistic, in the sense that it won't be as simple as asking her to step down as BM/ not attend the wedding- if you do go down that route, the friendship will likely be ruined beyond repair. I really feel for you! image xx  

  • JodielouJodielou Posts: 4,058

    I agree with hydrogirl- of course it doesn't in any way justify it, but if your friend did take the money she must have been really desperate xx

  • I am not sure what to advise, but if this is a good friend maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions? You don't know what happened, and it could easily be a misunderstanding, or a lie from the OTHER bridesmaid.

    I would be wary of taking sides.

  • Bridetobe14Bridetobe14 Posts: 332 New bride

    Thanks for your comments ladies, but sadly it's true. She's also stolen money from the hen do kitty as my other bridesmaids have all the receipts and the evidence that she has. The girl she stole from had 30 go missing and she thought it was really strange as her bag had just been in the hotel room the whole time. She was also there and the only other person was the girl who has stolen. She didn't say anything as like you all say she didn't want to jump to conclusions but she was so careful with the rest of her money and later that night she checked her purse and knew how much was there. She went to the loo and came back and her bag was wide open and more money taken, the only other person that was there was this girl. Rubbish situation aaaaaaggggghhhhh x

  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    that does really suck! and not what u want to be dealing with! i still think you have to have a chat with her and say that u just want to know the truth u rnt judging etc if she did steal the money but you dont want to have people lying to you - also say that you are worried about her.

    if she doesnt admit it and all evidence points to the fact she has then tell you feel you cant trust her at the moment, and not sure how long it is till wedding but maybe say untill its all blown over it might be better not to be bm? if she admits it then be supportive but again explain that its best that she is not a bm, there will be tension with the other girls on the day regardless now image

  • KK12KK12 Posts: 927

    I think you need to have a talk with her and ask her if she's aware that money has been stolen from your friend's purse and see how she reacts and what her story is.... what you are talking about is theft and is a criminal offence so your other friend could actually report this as a police matter. As others have said there may be a reason as to why she is stealing money and you should hear her out but I agree this issue will cause tension on the wedding day and people will not feel comfortable around her image

  • Bridetobe14Bridetobe14 Posts: 332 New bride

    Yep I asked her and she wasn't shocked or annoyed that I had accused her, just really really apologetic that she'd put us in this situation as she knows how bad it looks but she didn't take it. There have been rumours she has done this years ago but with actual things like make up, clothes etc and I had always taken her as I've found her and she had never done anything like that to me. I've spoken to her and thought she may have a problem and that there will be too much tension now for her to be at my wedding but that I want to support her in whatever she is going through. She's just begging me not to do this. She isn't annoyed or anything which I find at strange, if someone has accused me of stealin id be so cross x

  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    Horrid situation to be in and not easy to manage cleanly. It sounds like you may end up falling out with this girl if she can't admit to this and make amends with your other bridesmaid. As others have said, I'd extend a branch to her as an invitation to talk to you if she needs to, and then could you do something along the lines of, "Here are XXX's bank details, if £50 finds it's way back into her account, nothing more will be said about it and we'll all move on, otherwise I'm sorry but I can't have you as part of the wedding."

    My worry would be if there is a bigger problem and it isn't a one off and becomes a habit and she steals from people at the wedding, or steals your wedding cards which might have cash in for example. It's so hard to trust someone after doing something like this and it's not something you're going to want to worry about on your wedding day.

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    You should set a trap with a webcam or something.

    Get the bridesmaids to have a meeting about the hen do and leave some money then go out the room, see if she steals it, maybe you could mark the note

    I would want to be 100% sure she is the thief

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