Bridesmaid drama... really don't know what to do here!!

Hi Everyone

Right so I am getting married in 26 days (wowowowowow!!!!) can't believe it! I have three bridesmaids and three flowergirls, the flowergirls are each bridesmaids daughter.  One bridesmaid is my soon to be sister in law and her daughter who have been amazing, another is my all time best friend and her daughter who I just love like my own, and the third is the issue..

She is the best mans girlfriend and her daughter is our god daughter.  She came on the scene late and got pregnant quickly, I didn't actually meet her until she was pregnant and she was lovely, we really got on well (this was around 18 months ago) and she was just a nice normal person.  So the baby was born and we asked if she could be flowergirl and they said yes - my other half then asked me if the now bridesmaid could be bridesmaid, I said yes because she was so nice and I got along with her so well.

Fast forward a year and she has changed so much, I know she's probably just keen but she is on at me every day wanting to do stuff that I want to do myself so am having to say no and deal with the fallout everyday, when I do give her something she has to give her opinion on how it could be different.  She slags of my best friend (MOH) all of the time when she doesn't even know her as she has only met her twice (found out that she was basically jealous of her being MOH), she won't get in the minibus to the venue with us because she would rather drive which makes parking a hassle, constantly criticises anyone who dares have a drink because she has gone T total since having the baby, will not under any circumstances let the best man (who is also a very good friend of mine) be himself, he now has to be glued to her hip all of the time and the worst thing is this.. I bought the dresses very early on, they all fit the girls etc but they all started to lose weight so I replaced them and asked if they were going to loose anymore weight as I would get the size smaller so alterations weren't so drastic - all the girls said yes to the smaller size apart from her who insisted on keeping the dress because she didn't want to lose anymore weight and was happy how she was.  I have noticed the weight falling off her over the past few months, she has put it basically down to illness so I sympathised however I have just found out she has been taking extra strong slimming pills and when she tried on the dress I honestly think it is beyond alterations (which are booked for two weeks) it's like a tent and looks absolutely awful - why couldn't she just be honest!! Now they no longer sell the dress so I can't even get a replacement if the alterations lady can't do anything!!!!!!!!!!

I know this is more of a rant then a question but am I being unreasonable in being incredibly stressed and regretting my decision?

xx 

Posts

  • Hi There

    Firstly take a deep breath, she clearly sounds like a bit of a trouble maker, but its your day and you dont need the extra stress..

    firstly though it maybe awkward you need to sit her down and lay your cards on the table advising her how your feeling about her "opinions" and the dress not fitting is just stress you dont need

    i dont think your being unreasonable at all if anything it is likely to go south so you can tell her how you see it and if she is the friend she should be, she will stop and you can salvage the b/maid friendship if she goes the other way then she isnt really a friend so having her in your day as a b/maid will only cause you more unwanted issues

    sometimes you have to put yourself first, just think would she do the same if the shoe was on the other foot? from the sound of her i think she would be a bridezilla so do what you need to do hun

    xx

     

     

  • I agree. You could explain to her that she has been a little pushy. As for the dress, don't worry too much. When I bought my dress I was told that most dresses can be taken in up to 3 sizes.

  • Thank you everyone image I do need to talk to her a bit more firmly about all of this, I think it's my natural hatred for conflict as apposed to her love of it that's why I have avoided this so much!

    And the dress is going to be more then 3 sizes - from a size 16 to a size 8 in 4 months image

    xxx

  • SarahL1408SarahL1408 Posts: 154

    I agree with all of the above. 

    I can completely sympathise with bridemaid troubles ... my MOH and the BM were a couple for four years, however, six months before the wedding, they decide to break up in the messiest form possible.  I just try and laugh it off!

    x

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    The seamstress will just have to do the best job she can. If your BM complains just state that they don't sell the style anymore. I really wouldn't buy another dress, otherwise she is going to stand out- which she probably wants.

    Its nice that she wants to be included, but can see that being draining. Just say that you have already got x and y sorted image

  • SongbirdsingsSongbirdsings Posts: 1,290

    I think she wants to be the centre of attention and wishes she was planning her own wedding! You've got to be firm with her now...or she will be even worse on the day potentially. You don't need the stress! That's a hell of a loss of weight and difference in size. I certainly wouldn't buy another dress. Be strong when you go to the dress maker....you absolutely need to be the one calling the shots! 

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