Sorry for the long post but I'm struggling with this. What are others doing about inviting +1's? We bought a package for 40 and thought this would be perfect number for a intimate wedding with additional invites at the reception however in reality this really just comes down to 10 people each plus partners. Anything above the 40 is charged for on top for both day and night (could only get an early wedding so more drinks, canapés, food, bubbly etc than expected throught out the day.)
So rightly or wrongly i have a kind of mental cut off where partners are concerned (which I've not put into practice yet) for example my nephew has been with his girlfriend for about 4 years, they live together and she always visits the family with him and I consider her part of the family. My niece on the other hand has been with her partner about two years but I have only met him three times to say hello to and he generally doesnt come with her to family get togethers. Their relationship is always on and off and last time we invited him for birthday drinks it was 'off' so he didnt come. My partner has grown up children who dont live near us and as far as we know his daughter has been with someone about 5 months (will be 9 months if still together for wedding) we have never met him and he didnt come to a recent birthday get together we invited him to (not sure if she invited him or not but we told her he was invited). His other hasnt had a steady partner for some time however I think there may be someone new just on the scene but thats only from looking at social media! (Generally we dont like to ask/interfere about these things unless told!) One of my sisters has already hinted that 'its always a plus one at weddings' regarding her son who is 17 and he didnt even have a girlfriend at the time she said it. He has just started seeing an ex girlfriend and it never even crossed my mind to invite her until my sister made another hint recently.
Personally im finding it difficult to get my head around inviting people to a relatively small ceremony I have never met or have no feelings for. When I picture my wedding I think of being surrounded by people we love who share our happiness not strangers who in reality well may be off the scene again the following week.
I'm trying to separate head from heart (although it is the day you should be able to go with your heart!! ) and realise that although these people may mean nothing to me they will be important to the family members. I know people think we are well off but they dont realise how much we financially support his family members and I do not wish to bring this up so saying we cant afford it isnt really an option, and to be honest even though i do begrudge spending money on people we dont know when it could help us pay for our wedding, its actually more about who we want around us on our day.
My other concern is if we invite a partner and then they split up does that give them free rein to bring someone else as they see it as a +1? ...... If only there was a wedding rule that said 'serious relationships only' ha ha.
Am I being unreasonable with these thoughts? I'm guesssing I will just have to grin and bear it.