I'm scared of the dress

I got engaged last august and we're getting married in September. I've booked the church, the venue, bought our wedding rings etc. etc. but I can't seem to find the courage to go dress shopping. 

everybody keeps telling me "it's all about the dress" "everything revolves around the dress" "you're running out of time" and so forth. The result is a paralysing fear of dress shopping. None of my friends understand everyone thinks I'm being silly but the more pressure they put on me the more scared I'm getting.

am I the only one?


  • NuggyNuggy Posts: 527

    I think the best thing you could do is call local dress shops and explain how you are feeling...they will be happy to reassure you and you might surprise yourself and end up loving it. Do you have a close family member you can confide in and take with you?


    Do you want the big dress ir would you prefer something less weddingy? It's your day and you need to be comfortable.

  • I totally understand!! I absolutely dreaded it!! One of my friends felt the same, she enlisted bridesmaids, and went to a ridiculous shop, and tried on all the horrendous dresses, so that when she went properly it wasn't so bad. I ended up getting a gorgeous second hand gown, although my mum was awful about it, as she wanted me in a three grand meringue (our budget is £5000)! It really isn't as bad as you think it will be, and I really don't think the dress is the most important thing at all. Actually, it does get a bit annoying how everyone says 'this is the most important' or 'that is', and everyone seems to forget that actually, the important bit is the marriage!! Have a look online and get an idea of what you like; maybe keep it simple so you know it won't be the main focus, and then go shopping with that in mind. If you happen to fall for a completely different dress covered in ruffles and diamanté, then so be it! I just remind myself that h2b would think I look beautiful if I turn up in a bin bag image

  • Hiya, my dress was the last thing I arranged, I was terrified of being humiliated in the shop, in fact, I was told off by the lady in the first shop I went into, she was so rude - and I'd only gone in to make an appointment! So she wasn't getting my money! Anyway, I found a lovely shop and found the most gorgeous dress, it didn't fit me - it was a size 10, I'm a size 18 (I'm working on that!) but it didn't matter, the lady in the shop was amazing. I was so worried about dress shopping, but honestly, in the right shop if was fab xx

  • laurapjlaurapj Posts: 726

    Hi dress shy. I think it is very common to feel that way. I was terrified of dress shopping and I put it off for ages and was SO nervous when I booked my first appointment. I had a horrible school prom experience and hated my dress, hair and makeup and felt so uncomfortable so I was sure I'd feel the same wedding dress shopping. In reality it was a lovely experience and from the moment I put the first dress on (which, wasn't very flattering on me at all! but that didn't matter) my nerves went and I started having fun. I think just don't put pressure on yourself to find the dress in the first shop or on the first day. Just try to enjoy dressing up as it's the only chance you get to swish around in such beautiful/girly/expensive/ridiculous/enormous/sexy/etc dresses! No, they won't all suit you, but that doesn't matter as you will find one/or some that really do.

    Also, I had several shops tell me on the phone 'you're cutting it fine' or 'you really need to order your dress asap' and so I didn't go to those places. I went to five dress shops in the end and none of them made me feel pressured or rushed into making a decision. It seems the ladies on here who have felt rushed or pressured are the ones who regret their dress decisions and end up swapping it last minute anyway so try to avoid any shops who make you feel that way. The dress shop I got mine from told me that they'd once managed to dress a bride who'd come in the night before her wedding day in tears and freaking out as something had gone wrong with her original dress. She left feeling beautiful and confident image. So please don't worry! Let us know how you get on! xx

  • Thankyou ladies so much, I've been feeling so alone in this. Knowing I'm not totally mental makes me feel so much better x

  • I don't really have a specific wedding budget as we have pretty much no money so I took a gamble on a cheap brand new gown from China via ebay. I paid £69 and now it's here, it is GORGEOUS! I trawled through websites forever until I came across this bargain one and when I saw it I just knew it was THE ONE. I think that happens for all brides. If you have a budget that allows wedding boutique shopping then don't worry. You'll know when you see it and all that stressing will have been for nothing. 

    And any hint of rudeness from boutique staff? Walk away with your money. Some of these places don't deserve our custom.


  • heliganedenheliganeden Posts: 1,848

    I hated dress shopping, I'm not the type of person who buys into the whole crying over dresses/it's all about the dress/all revolves around the dress etc - it's all about getting married, not a dress!! Even if it's a fabulous dress, i think anyone who thinks that's the most importany thing has got their prioritise all wrong 

    I tried on loads, didn't really like any, bought one in a sample sale on a whim, then changed my mind and got one from house of Fraser that I loved!! Remember you don't actually have to go down the bridal shop route image 


  • catlover64ukcatlover64uk Posts: 1,149

    Didn't dress shop until nine months before the wedding.  Made an appointment for one shop, and one shop only, and found my dress. Six years on, I still unzip the bag and smile!

    I'm not one for traipsing into dozens of shops trying on hundred's of dresses.  It'd only drive you mad and make the experience more stressful than it should be.

    Good luck!image


  • Deep breath....

    I've booked an appointment at confetti and lace in lakeside. Really nervous cause they gave me the whole "you've left it really late, normally takes at least six months" routine. But I'm happy to buy off the rack so I'm just hoping I find something  I love.  xx

  • Geek GirlGeek Girl Posts: 145

    Good luck! You've done the right thing image

    And don't let them freak you out. I bought a dress at a reasonable price, and ordered it less than three months before my wedding (we only planned the wedding four months before). Not only did they get it in, but it was altered in plenty of time too. I know some dress companies can't make something to order in that time, but at the shop I went to they (kindly) stopped me trying on anything that wouldn't arrive in time to minimise disappointment. If you're going for off the rack then hopefully you'll have lots more choice.

    I am not a girlie girl and felt very self conscious about finding a dress (I still wore trainers with it on the day - albeit white customised Converse), but I still found something in my (not extensive) budget that I fell in love with and made me feel brilliant. I have no doubt you can find the same. Let us know how you get on x

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