Dad dead, mum wont walk me down aisle

Hi everyone,

My dad died 4 years ago. I am an only child so its just me and my mum.

My mum is currently refusing to walk me down the aisle as:

1) Its not traditional (she is very traditional old school catholic)

2) She wants the day to be about her, eg she wants to make her grand entrance so everyone can wow at her outfit. (I will post again about issues regarding HER day) If she walks down the aisle with me obvious everyone will be looking at me and not at her. One of her friend has even said to me to not 'make' my mum walk me down the aisle so she can have her limelight!

She wants an uncle who im not at all close to to walk me down the aisle , as 'thats how it should be'. I have told her this will not be happening and that I would rather have a guy friend walk me down the aisle. She was not happy about this either.

I really dont know what to do , the wedding isnt for another year but I cant see her backing down, the last time we discussed it she basically huffed, shouted at me then wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the day.

Has anyone else been in this situation??

 

 

Posts

  • :D:D Posts: 1,805

    I am sorry to hear about your Dad, my Mum is walking me down the aisle, I didn't really ask her so I hope she is ok with it! image But she did say she didn't want to make a speech, which is fine.

    I would argue that her walking down the aisle will give her more limelight than sitting down as an ordinary guest, unless she is planning on walking down like a bridesmaid? I wouldn't push the situation if she is uncomfortable but if she doesn't end up walking down the aisle you should make it clear that it your decision. If Mum did say no I did actually consider asking my FIL2b, but understood some people might think it was a bit weird, but he is my father figure.

  • Sarah C89Sarah C89 Posts: 368 New bride

    You could avoid the situation altogeher if she's being silly about it, and just walk down yourself after your bridesmaids ... This is what I considered doing when my dad was making it clear he wasn't comfortable giving me away. It would make it less obvious, and then you can think about it being your dad walking you down in spirit, rather than someone taking his place? Xx

  • NuggyNuggy Posts: 527

    Sorry about your Dad. It's not easy planning a wedding with a parent missing, I lost my Mum nearly 7 years ago.

     

    I agree with Sarah, have your Dad in spirit.How about a pic of your Dad put into your bouquet? X

  • God, I read so many posts on here about people having absolutely bat shit mental parents!

    Walk down the aisle with whoever you want! Or alone! Obviously you can't force her to walk down with you, and that's okay. But you *can* sneakily let her know that if she isn't' walking down the aisle with you then she'll just be sitting down with everybody else at the beginning. It's not like she's a bridesmaid!

    For the rest, if she is being REALLY difficult, why don't you just not invite her? That would be better than having her stress you out for the next year AND on the day of the wedding.

  • KK12KK12 Posts: 927

    Since when was the wedding about your mum and not about you and your groom?! I know the feeling though as all my mum has done is bitch and whine about everything we have chosen as it's not to what she wants to do/eat/etc etc!

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad and maybe in this situation, it would be better to walk down the aisle on your own with his picture in your bouquet - that's always a lovely idea. image

  • MrsMest2014MrsMest2014 Posts: 251 New bride

    Wow, so sorry to hear your mum's being so selfish when it's your day. Although nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to weddings! I think walking down on your own after your bridesmaids is a lovely idea, or even with one or two of them all together. I've been to a wedding recently where the bride and groom actually walked in together and although not traditional it was lovely, after all the day is about you two and starting your journey together as man and wife xXx

  • Thanks for your input guys much appreciated!! xx

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