3 months to go....

...and I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown.

Not necessarily about the wedding itself, just about other stuff. We have had family issues with both of our families, and last night a huge bombshell was dropped on my h2b.

His family member has been diagnosed with a genetic disease (which is the same one a distance relative of mine had and died of 3 years ago). The symptoms are pretty much identical to the current symptoms h2b has, but has been diagnosed with something else (by process of elimination).

Obviously the family needs to undergo genetic testing now, which is made even more complicated given that h2b isn't speaking to his mum, and relationships with the rest of his family are very fragile.

This could effect whether we have children (which we'd already decided we would TTC straight after the wedding), and if h2b does have it, it's a pretty horrible road ahead of him, in that the condition is not curable, but treatable. Which is not all bad, I know, but the treatment is pretty scary.

H2b is obviously very upset and very worried about his family. With all this going on, I'm seriously wondering if we should postpone the wedding with all that's going on, because the last thing I want is for h2b to feel ridiculously overwhelmed with all this. image

Posts

  • Bonzo1984Bonzo1984 Posts: 74

    Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I've never been in a similar situation but I would wait until you know more about your h2b's condition before you think about postponing. Then you know all the facts.

    Virtual hugs and good luck with whatever you decide. xxx

     

  • Snowy78Snowy78 Posts: 453

    Oh you really have been through the mill image one thing after another......also sending virtual hugs!

    I agree though, I would probably wait to know more before postponing.....but then only you know how stressful it all is - good luck xx

  • MrsTaylorMrsTaylor Posts: 500

    It's going to take a few months for all the genetic testing etc, so with all that going on and work in between I don't know how we'll ever find the time to realistically pull together the wedding, especially when it's not being held where we live at the moment, so I just can't see how we can do it.

    Like we're meant to be going next Monday to meet the car man to see the mini etc, but I've been ridiculously ill the last 4 days and off work, and I may be allergic to the anti biotics so going to the drs a bit later on, so I can't even see us getting something as simple as that done. There are so many bloody obstacles it's ridiculous.

    H2b is exhausted cos it's been a draining weekend as I was stuck in bed so maybe once we're both feeling a bit more with it it won't seem so doomy and gloomy. He's very upset for the person who has been diagnosed aswell.

    I encouraged him to talk to his sister, thinking it would be a good support for him and may help mend some bridges between them and bring them closer, and he was about to, but it turns out she's not going to be told about it.

    *Sigh*. Sorry, not even sure why I'm posting and rambling away. I guess it just feels like the wedding is the last thing on our minds now, yet with 3 months away it feels like we should be excited and doing the last bits etc image

  • Blondie87Blondie87 Posts: 69

    I didn't want to read and run...bless you sweetie, you must be having a really tough time. Your h2b must be leaning on you if he doesn't have anyone else to talk to, have you actually asked him if he would like to postpone the wedding? Also, I don't know what I'd do as I'm not in your situation and can't begin to imagine the stress but is it even possible? I.e. would your insurance pay out for you to, would suppliers let you? I wouldn't be able to afford it if they wouldn't.

    Are you looking forward to getting married on that date or can you really not imagine it? Are you still preparing?

    Sending big, bug hugs to you x x

  • MrsTaylorMrsTaylor Posts: 500

    I've spoken to h2b and he doesn't want to postpone it, which is fair enough.

    He's a lot more upset about the whole situation today, especially as his sister hasn't been told because she "has a lot on", yet h2b was told and he's got a lot on, and he was also told via email, and he feels it at least warranted a phone call.

    He's spoken to the family member with it and is happier now he knows he is coping okay, it's just a bit of a rubbish road ahead atm, full of uncertainty whilst we await all the genetic testing etc. 

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