Not the wedding I'd planned

 Hi All 

Seems strange posting on here when I don't know any of you but I always find it easier to write my feelings down. I am getting married in 21 days in Turkey, but in the last 2 weeks I have had to have a hernia operation, we found out my step dad has got a brain tumour, he has an operation Monday and we nearly lost him which means he is unable to come with us. 

Since having my operation my stomach is still swollen and I am scared to try my dress on in case it doesn't fit any more or I can't do it up due to the swelling. image

My step dad was meant to be giving me away and I am totally gutted he can't make it but I had got my head round it. Due to the complications since his operation my Mum is unsure if she will be able to come. As much as I understand it I will be totally devastated not having either of them there. Am I being selfish?? image

This just isn't how I wanted or imagined my big day to turn out xx



  • Weddin crazyWeddin crazy Posts: 1,743

    Sorry to hear your havin such troubles so close to wedding. Could u not record wedding abroad and have a small wedding breakfast type of thing back home for family?

  • You are'nt being selfish at all, some of the most important people in your life wont or may not be able to make your wedding. Anyone else in your situation would be equally devastated.

    As for your dress, its completely understandable, hopefully the swelling should go down in a few weeks-I know it will be hot in Turkey but would you be able to wear some sort of shapewear or something under your dress? Not very wedding-like I know but might make you feel less self concious-I'll be hiding lots of post baby wobble myself!

    From your parents point of view I'm sure they would want you to enjoy your day, especially after the last few months xx



  • LollybearLollybear Posts: 548

    Do you have wedding insurance? Ours pays out for serious illness in the bridal party? it may mean you are able to have a wedding here if that is what you wanted? if not maybe you could arrange to do something when you are back like some photographs together somewhere special to you all. It doesnt have to be a big party.

  • Annie6679Annie6679 Posts: 21

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. Saw my step dad today and he is being very insistent that we still go ahead with the wedding which we will but I love the idea of recording it and showing it when we get back and going to have pictures taken somewhere. Simple things but when your head is all over the place you don't think about. 


    Thanks again xx

  • MrsG23MrsG23 Posts: 231

    I really wouldnt worry about being swollen at the moment - if you had it done keyhole, it can take a few weeks for the swelling to go down - including all the air they pump you with during surgery! I am almost positive that your stomach will be fine in 3 weeks time! Drink plenty, eat sensibly and all  be ok. 

    The awful, awful situation with your step dad and mum is a little more tricky to sort - but you are no way being selfish, you are entitled to feel upset that the people who you love are not going to be there... Unfortunately, it is only you that can make the decision to go forward and get married, with or without them present? I hope, whatever your decision.. that everyone is as well as can be in the end.. xx


  • CD0412CD0412 Posts: 144

    If you speak to your wedding co-ordinator or whoever out in Turkey, explain the difficulties and ask them to set up a direct Skype connection so they can watch it at the same time?? Even if they're not there, they can watch xx

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