Bridesmaid dilemma

Hi, so in total I've been bridesmaid 6 times in so many years. 5 were friends and 1 sis in law 2b. I knew for certain I'd have my sister, sis in law2b and my oldest friend as bridesmaids so that left the decision of the other 4. initially I decided not to have my 4 other close friends as 1 of them I just couldn't handle as my bridesmaid. She's quite a drama queen and has made previous weddings all about her, refusing to wear certain things and slagging off the brides choices. I told her I was only havingv3 maids and she hit the roof saying I'd turned her life upside down etc with which I felt awful. I now don't know what to do. My h2b won't have her a maid due to all the upset age caused, however I don't want to regret not having my other 3 close friends. 

Do I stick with my initial 3, or be a complete b**ch and ask all but her? This is putting such a strain on everything and until it's sorted I know I can't enjoy any of the planning xx

Posts

  • Purple rainPurple rain Posts: 926

    Avoid people like this. Is she is saying stuff like that now and causing you stress it will only get worse. Don't put yourself through it. 

  • Mrs T2BMrs T2B Posts: 129

    I don't understand why not being your bridesmaid would turn her life upside down? Or have I read that wrong?

    It probably depends as well on how big your wedding is as to whether you would really want 6 or 7 bridesmaids. I'm having 4 bridesmaids and even that was difficult to make sure everyone was happy with outfits, timings, dates etc. It would definitely be more hassle than it's worth to have all but her - imagine if it was the other way around - how would you feel about being left out? If it was me I'd just stick with the 3 you have and maybe give the others a different role - maybe a reading or something?

  • mrshughes2013mrshughes2013 Posts: 2,063

    Have your original 3 Hun just quietly take the other three aside and explain its due to budget etc but ask them if they could play a part ie do a reading, be in charge of handing out confetti etc

    tell this one woman to get over herself she just wants attention and your giving it to her

  • LeaMarieLeaMarie Posts: 723

    As a bride with 7 bridesmaids, it is a nightmare keeping all of them happy and they continually seem to bicker with me and amongst themselves!

    I would stick with your original three hun - afterall, you made that choice initially for a reason! Don't let the behaviour of one cloud your decision x

  • LeaMarieLeaMarie Posts: 723

    As a brides with 7 bridesmaids, it is a nightmare keeping all of them happy and they continually seem to bicker with me and amongst themselves!

    I would stick with your original three hun - afterall, you made that choice initially for a reason! Don't let the behaviour of one cloud your decision x

  • sooz84sooz84 Posts: 378

    Honestly? I'd stick with your original 3 and tell her to get a grip and stop being so selfish. It's your wedding, not hers, how dare she try and make you feel guilty about your choice! Sounds like she'd cause you no end of problems anyway. image

  • KK12KK12 Posts: 927

    Mmmm in general the moral of the story seems to be the less bridesmaids you have the better! 

    I would be questioning why on earth you have this woman to be your friend, never mind a bridesmaid when she is behaving in such a mean way towards you!

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    Stick with 3, I had 2 and 2 honorary bridesmaids, I got them goody bags as a thank you and they were lifesavers at various points before and during the wedding.

    My actual bridesmaids did't grow up in the UK and mine was the first traditional UK wedding they had been to so while they were fab there were a few bits I could have asked them to do but my honorary bridesmaids did them, like putting the cake topper on my cake, helping with decorating the venue (although my actual bridesmaids helped with that too), going and getting my lower heels, taking stuff to the groom, and with my mum they all ensured I always had a drink during the evening reception!

    There are lots of ways to include people, readings and you can have up to 4 witnesses image

    I will also say my honorary bridemaids both preferred picking an wearing their own dresses, also both lived a bit too far away to have made coordinating dress shopping, fittings etc easy.

    I planned my wedding in just under 9 months but picked people I knew would always be there for me, I know a lot of brides regret having certain people as bridesmaids because they felt they should or were rail roaded into having that person as a bridesmaid.

    Another factor is cost, I figure if you include the cost of them and a plus one attending the wedding my bridesmaids each 'cost' me about £800 each, I did buy their dresses, shoes and accessories, plus paid for hair and make trails and for them to have their hair and make up done professionally on the day.

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