Sick of MIL to be..

Hi girls,

I just need to vent! As many of you know we got engaged and announced our wedding date as 20th June 2014, a week later all of a sudden MIL to be was engaged and getting married 24th May 2014.

We have always got on but she can be two faced and an attention seeker so I have learnt to deal with this over the last nearly 8 years I have been with H2B, I know how to handle her. I was a bit pissed off she was trying to take the attention, more so for my H2B as he is her son and I don't think anybody should be jealous of their children.

This was last year anyway and after having to calm my family down, they were not happy at all about it, I begged and begged them not to say anything as I didn't want a row or any dramas. H2B is so laid back he is practically horizontal so I haven't really had a reaction from him, he seems to not mind.

In the last few months there have been many tears on MIL to be because she is so desperate to get married before us she has had to cut costs dramatically (she was never married to H2B Dad so this is her first wedding). Crying because she couldn't afford flowers, a cake etc everything had to be home made (I personally like home made but had no sympathy for her as if she has just waited instead of being desperate for attention her and her Husband could of saved like me and H2B have done to have the day they wanted).

So yesterday was the wedding, ceremony in registry office was lovely and I woke up in the morning and thought to myself I'm going to let go of all of the bad feelings etc because it's a happy occasion and everyone deserves to be happy. Well I soon regretted  feeling that way when I got to their hall for the food and evening and saw she had sat me right at the back of the hall on the very last table with lots of non family members, people they see once in a blue moon kind of non important table. H2B was on "top table" and she had sat me the furthest she could of possibly done away from H2B and everyone I knew. I'm so bloody angry and H2B doesn't understand why I feel as her nearly daughter in law I should of been sat with famiily or at least close friends. I have been nothing but nice to her, we have never had a cross word and I kept my feelings to myself about their wedding as I do not like any famiily dramas, it makes life difficult and I would never want to put H2B in that position but I am sooooooo pissed off and feel like completely moving her off my top table to the back of the room or sitting her next to her ex (H2B dad) as she is so 

Posts

  • MrsC14MrsC14 Posts: 385

    bitter and hates him for no apparent reason. 

    I know I sound sad and childish but I am just so upset I have been snubbed by them. 

    xx

  • VicNVicN Posts: 1,352

    I can understand why you are so upset. I think it's very insulting. Some people are so strange about 'family' though. My sister has been with her boyfriend for 3 years (she's 20, they've been together since they were 17) and the last 3 years they have done a birthday meal for him but she is not allowed to go because it's 'family time'. His parents are incredibly controlling and I don't think he dares put his foot down. She was told the same the day he went off to uni - she wasn't allowed to go because it was a 'family day'. The parents went ape when they booked a holiday meaning they would be away for his sister's birthday... it wasn't a milestone birthday or anything. Some people are so odd. 

     

    I've been told that weddings are more difficult for the mum of the groom as mums 'lose' their son to his new wife. Thankfully I've not had that problem with my MIL2B. Is OH an only child? 

    I would say take the high road. I know you'll want to make it awkward for her but it sounds as if she would make a scene on your day even though you haven't made one at hers, and that's not what you want on your day. 

    Chin up image (I know that's easier said than done) xx

  • herstoryherstory Posts: 1,268

    Personally I would sit her next to her ex on the top table and sit her new husband at the back......petty yes but its a way to stick to 'tradition' and stick it to her image

    It would annoy me to be treated in such a way and to be honest your h2b should understand how much of an insult it was - maybe when you sit and do your own table plan he will understand, mine didn't until we started on ours, what should be simple is anything but.

    I will say some families are just weird to me, my MIL decided after 11 and half years of us being together to now, post wedding call me daughter, I hate it only one woman on this planet should call me that, and now she also wants to chat on the phone, I wasn't good enough the first 11 plus years so why does us getting married change that. I can list all her annoying behaviour on our wedding day, I actually have photographic proof she was hovering to get her lippy touched up while I was having my make up done, she really seems oblivious to what others may need.....like being so pissed at the evening do she slapped me square in the back when 'hugging' me image

    I will say your MIL2B sounds a lot worse than mine, you H2B needs to step up to the plate and make it clear you are the number one woman in his life.

  • MrsNoelMrsNoel Posts: 486

    It was a shitty thing to do but do you really want her place at your wedding to be the focus of your day? If she's that much of an attention seeker, she'll really milk it if you try and get your own back. Just chalk it up as her being a cow and get on with enjoying the build up to your day. 

  • natsxonatsxo Posts: 268

    I would be really careful what you put on the web aboit mother in laws or in laws....just a bit of advice ?  sorry you have had an awful time but sOn my way! one reading this could take it to her then imagine.... ! just enjoyed your married life x

  • Little JulesLittle Jules Posts: 1,538

    That is really awful and I can totally understand why you are upset - and why you are frustrated that H2B doesn't understand! But I think MrsNoel is right, you don't really want where she sits to be the main focus of the wedding. Just go with whatever you were planning before and try to be the bigger person. That way, you are the most important part of your day and not her!! 

  • Personally I'd sit her on the kids table and hope they vom chocolate cake on her, but you might be a better person than I am.

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