Postpone to rebuild trust with H2B?
Bit of a long story but basically last week things came to a head with H2B and we had a big fight. It was all extremely upsetting and frightening for me as I was afraid he was getting very close to being violent. We've done loads of talking since and it's been a real eye opener for us both as we've realised some pretty unacceptable behaviour has been going on for too long and we've not been addressing his aggression. The outcome is he is extremely remorseful, has enrolled for some professional help and is going to do some talking therapies. He is extremely motivated about doing these and I am certain it is not just to pacify me. The question is - should we postpone the wedding while he does this therapy, just to be sure it's really worked? I would be reluctant to but also don't want to marry into a disasterous situation if the therapy doesn't work.
Lots of big questions about whether motivation alone is enough for someone to change... I am really conflicted about it and keep veering between the two choices. He says he recognises trust needs to be rebuilt and if postponing would help he would do that but I know he's as reluctant as I am, it just feels so sad.
I was really enjoying all the planning, getting so excited about it all, counting down the days and making loads of things, now it just feels soured and I don't know if this will change over time or is a real sign my heart is not in it. Last night I dreamt I had a wobbly tooth which I think is a sign of anxiety over making a big decision. I know no one else can tell me the correct answer but am just desperate, it's all I can think about.