losing a bridesmaid

I'm in a bit of a quandry. My brother and his girlfriend (who is my only adult bridesmaid) have just split up and although I'm devastated for them, I'm also at a loss on what to do and how to envision my wedding in 10 months image I've only ordered the dresses 2 weeks ago and will lose my deposit. To be honest though that isnt my main concern, I know it's selfish and I'll never show this to my brother but I feel right now he's ruined how I have always envisioned my wedding. I will have my daughter as my only bridesmaid and yes she is enough but you know when you've planned things 1 way and now it's all ruined!!

Please no horrible comments as me and my brother are really close and I am being nothing but supportive towards him even though it was his fault.


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  • If anything, is it not better to have this happen now than right after the wedding? 

    I can just imagine that if you have lots of pictures with a bridesmaid that you dont have a relationship with (which i'm assuming is the case as there is no mention of maintaining contact with this girl) then it's photographs that you aren't going to treasure forever, and perhaps think are ruined as you will effectively have a 'stranger' with you in all those photos. 

  • MrsTaylorMrsTaylor Posts: 500

    I agree with Mrs D to Be. Also, you have plenty of time to come to terms with it, or get someone else.

  • VictoriaoVictoriao Posts: 1,536

    Its always messy when people split and it is unfortunate that it's going to cause your wedding planning problems. You say it's his own fault so I'm assuming that even after 10 months there would be no hope that either would feel comfortable with both attending. 

    I'm guessing it's extremely raw for all parties, including yourself and of course that has an impact on your wedding plans. But if there was a time for it to happen now is probably better than 2/3 weeks before the wedding. Take some time. No decision needs to be made today. Everyone is trying to fathom out what happens next, not just your brother but you as well. So take some time before a final decision is taken.

  • Lauren PorchLauren Porch Posts: 181

    Sayitwithvodka - no it obviously wasn't but thanks for the constructive reply!

    Mrs D to be - that's the thing, I do have a relationship with her and she's certainly not a stranger,  but right now my brother has asked me not to contact her but as she's been part of our family for so long, I'd love her to still be my bridesmaid but I don't think either of them would feel comfortable on the day.

    I don't have anyone else to ask so that's not a possibility and yes I've got time to come to terms with it, however at the moment it's new and hard for me to get my head round.

    Thanks Victoriao for your comment,  we'll see what happens I guess. 

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