Red and flushed when I get nervous!!

Hi Guys, so my wedding is 9 months away..(Feels weird actually writing that!!) .... and I wonder if anyone had any advice?

When I am hot / nervous / excited / stressed / upset / ebarrassed or drink alcohol I get really red and flushed ... my chest, neck and arms get really red and blotchy and it really makes me anxious.... someone will always mention it and then that makes it worse. I know 100% it will happen on my wedding day so wanted some advice for any make up products or similar to help?

I looked into medication but it seems beta blockers or anti depressants are used and that seems a tad too serious for cosmetic purposes...

I have bought some green cover up which may help and will use the tanning beds as its not as obvious when I am darker...

Dont really want to get a high neck dress but never say never...

This is my main worry about the whole day! eek!!

 

Posts

  • JulyBugJulyBug Posts: 420

    I def understand if you don't want to take medication but just FYI beta blockers aren't particularly 'serious' - they're often given to people for dealing with things like fear of flying coz they help to keep the body from exhibiting the physical effects of nerves/anxiety (so if you're anxious about X, it helps to stop your heart racing, palms getting sweaty and, in your case I imagine, your chest/neck from getting flushed). They're pretty innocuous and won't give you any long-term effects (they are quite addictive I think so that's why they're often prescribed sparingly rather than because they're something serious to take).

    However, totally understand if you'd prefer not to go down that route - getting a tan sounds like a good idea and maybe try different foundations to see if anything of them mask it more than others. Good luck!

  • MrsPtoB2015MrsPtoB2015 Posts: 107

    Thanks for the information... do you or have you taken them?

    I think I will do some more research on them then maybe and look at speaking to my doctors... I guess I was just worried about side effects but I dont know much about them.

  • JulyBugJulyBug Posts: 420

    I've taken them once for flying as it was a long-haul flight all on my lonesome and I'm a bit of a chicken! I found they just calmed me down a little bit when I felt anxious - the dr explained that they don't have any effect on you mentally but they just stop your body from phsyically reactin, which could be useful for you since it's nerves etc that make you flush. Def do some research and talk to your doctor, hope you find a solution! image

  • PopsyxxPopsyxx Posts: 1,009

    Sounds soooo stupid but imagine your somewhere cold!! I used to be the same, not as bad anymore and I read in a magazine to imagine yourself like in the arctic so you would be freezing and try to feel the chill! I thought oh how silly but actually tried it  and now I can switch to it just like that!xx

  • Spam88Spam88 Posts: 1,001

    Why do people always feel the need to point out when you blush?  As if you don't know!

    My chest gets quite red and blotchy, but it hadn't really occurred to me to cover up so I can't offer any advice on that!

    I did take beta blockers for a few years though - for migraine prevention, not anxiety.  Just be aware that, like all things I guess, there are side effects.  Mine gave me palpitations which is why I stopped taking them in the end.  Some people find they make them feel really groggy.  And some can make you pile on weight... I'm not sure whether for anxiety/nerves you take them all the time though or just as needed, so I guess if you don't take them all the time then the effects would be less. 

  • MrsPtoB2015MrsPtoB2015 Posts: 107

    Thanks guys!

    I know yeah .. its annoying and makes me really self concious.

    I have tried every kind of thinking your cold.. thinking everyone is naked.. all sorts.. the truth is when the focus is on me, I blush and I cant stop it.

    I have decided to make an appointment with my doctor after Christmas and see if he can prescribe me some.. its just for that day so just a week.. I am happy to have side effects if I dont blush.. but yes I wont carry on taking them after that.

  • hi, I had the same problem I go bright red. I went to my doctors and he prescribed me a tablet to take 60mintues before needed he suggested I tried it before the big day to ensure I didnt have any side effects. So I did with my wedding dress fitting in front of all family and bridesmaids. They worked great even on the day I didnt get one red rash. So advice go to your drs closer to the time and explain your situation. hope that helps x

  • Thanks for your input and great to hear they worked image do you know what they were?

  • Oh my god I get the same thing it's so annoying, glad you can take something to stop it what did you say to your doctors as cos it's cosmetic do they get funny about it ? X

  • My dr was fine about it he only gave me 8tablets. but they were called propranolol hope that helps x

  • Thanks for the info - thats what I was thinking of asking for!

    I dont think it is just cosmetic though anyway so dont feel as though you shouldnt ask.. I know with me it makes me very anxious and self concious which in turn creates further side effects like sweating, shaking, and just generally getting quite stressed. If I could block the sweating and the flushing which are both linked to my anxiety I would be much happier.

    I wanted to take them in a stressful sitaution before the big day so I dont get any side effects -- do they tend to give you enough to do this?

    How far in advance would you recommend going?image

  • LouBLouB Posts: 1,129 New bride

    MrsPtoB I am exactly the same as you and used the forum when researching what I could do about it. I knew it would happen on my wedding day (it had happened when I was bridesmaid for my best friend) and I was so worried about it. I went to my doctor and mentioned betablockers and she was completely lovely and relaxed about them and gave me a prescription and suggested I test it out. I did this when I did a reading at my friends wedding and they worked wonders! I didn't feel at all nervous about the reading (which I had been in the run up) and they made me so calm, I actually loved doing the reading! And no hint of red blotching at all. I was amazed! It made me also so relaxed in the run up to the wedding, not worrying I was going to be all red and blotchy in the church.

    I have the 40mg ones (my friend got prescribed 10mg ones for doing presentations, and finds she has to take a few), but I took one about 45 minutes before the ceremony, and then another with dinner as thought I might blotch in the speeches and they worked absolute wonders! I had no blotching whatsoever, not in the car anxiously waiting to go in, not when saying my vows, nothing. It was brilliant. I thoroughly recommend them image

    It definitely isn't just cosmetic - it affects confidence levels and stress, like you say. Part of the reason we chose a March wedding was because I thought if it was 30 degrees I'd definitely get the blotchy skin!

    I got prescribed a whole pack, so if you know you've got something coming up soon, I'd go to the docs asap. It will help you in the long run as it will stop you stressing about it in the run up. Good luck! xx

  • Hello! Your post is such a relief to read image

    I get married in May next year and was thinking of going to the doctors in January maybe.. it doesnt take much for me to get nervous so I am sure just meeting with the photographers for example will make me blotchy and nervous!

    And like you I just know that if I know I have that under control I will be so much more relaxed... being nervous is one thing but making everyone else aware of through sweating and blotching is just a whole different ball game! I would probably take another prior to the speeches too as I would not doubt get embarrassed.. and then cue blotchiness.

    Did you have any other side effects such as feeling spaced out or anything? Also can you drink with them?

    Not that I mind - If I had to swap drinking for no blotchiness no drinking would be my choice every time!!image xxx

  • Spam88Spam88 Posts: 1,001

    LouB - did your doctor say you could take two in a day? That seems like a massive dose. 

    Ive only used timolol, but I assume they're all similar, you're not supposed to drink excessively with them but there's no strict ban. Some people find they make them feel very zombie-like, although I never had any problems, so definitely best to do a trial run!

  • I dont think I will be drinking excessively anyway lol... I was only planning on having a couple of drinks in the day and a couple at night, so I can take it or leave it really image

    In all honesty I think I would rather feel zombie like than anxious and panicky ... but yes a good idea to do a trial run! image

  • Snowy78Snowy78 Posts: 453

    I don't know if this will help you at all, but I was really concerned about this myself in the run up to my wedding (I got married last Saturday).

    When I have to speak in front of anyone I go bright red - even if I know the people and am confident in what I am saying - just can't seem to help it and then I am aware of it get nervous and start getting sweaty/nervous and shaking in my voice.....

    So on the day I was a nervous wreck! So worried about this, but honestly when I walked into that room I was so overwhelmed seeing everyone I loved I felt better, and then when I said my vows I just looked at my Husband (eek!) and imagined I was just having a conversation with him.

    I didn't blush once and everyone said afterwards how confident I sounded. I was so pleased and then could relax for the rest of the day (def no speech for me!).

    Maybe you will be fine, and maybe it will help to just concentrate on your H2B and imagine you are just speaking to him.......? Hopefully my experience will reassure a little.....?

    Good luck, it is a nightmare to feel anxious/panicky which I know will only make it worse...... image x

  • Sorry for the late reply I don't get notices. 10mg was plenty and I wouldn't take more than what the dr prescribes. I think maybe take it when you go for your dress fitting or when you show the dress to all your mum and bridesmaids on your final fitting as I knew I would feel nervous then but trial it when it best suits you but I only had approx 9 tablets so they give you enough to trial it (each tablet was 10mg)

    I was exactly the same and still am. I go red just talking to people I dont know or even people I do know its just all eyes on me that I struggled with. I would have a red blotchy rash all across my chest and neck and on the day I had nothing I mean it could also help that I had some champagne or the fact I was just relaxed on the day I really dont know hope it helps though x

  • LouBLouB Posts: 1,129 New bride

    MrsPtoB2015 - sorry I don't get notifications so only just seen this. I didn't have any other side effects, I love a good drink but didn't drink much on the day as just didn't need to or feel like it, I was having too much fun! But I'd done my test at another wedding so had seen how it reacted with alcohol and it was fine then too. I think maybe it made me feel like I didn't need much booze?!

    Spam88 - she told me to read the instructions and follow them, I think I could take up to 4 in a day, but obviously I didn't want to take that many! The ones I have are propranolol 

  • hf1989hf1989 Posts: 416

    I get this too. I usually solve the red face problem by applying a powder foundation from the Body Shop - it's so good for cover up - even if you feel the blood pumping around your face, it doesn't show. I've got a strapless dress for the wedding and really don't want the blotches. I was thinking a spray tan may do the trick, but prevention sounds better so I may ask my dr too.

  • Thanks for of your input image

    It has really put my mind at ease and thinking there is a solution to what is actually my biggest fear right now is a relief.

    I think I am going to go to the doctors in November as although I dont get married until May I am buying my wedding dress of the peg in December and I know this is the perfect time to try them out as I will hate having 5 people looking at me and fussing over me ... It sounds stupid but I just hate all the fuss around me.

    Yeah I dont want to drink much anyway as I want to remember everything and for everything to be clear but I would like to have a toast drink :0)

    Its also nice to hear that although you have this similar kind of anxiety you enjoyed your day... I am becoming increasingly worried that the stress of having so many people around me will ruin my enjoyment and that I am seeing the day as a way of being married to my other half (which of course it is) but I am seeing it as something I need to get through rather than enjoy..... not good.

     

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