Forum home Emotional support

My mum

Hi Everyone

I know this is not really the place where people want to read this kind of thing but I am at a loss of people to talk to. 

My mum found a lump some months ago in her neck and has a persistant cough since february.  After lots of test, xrays and ct scans, they have said the she is to have a biopsy on wednesday and the results will come on friday.  The lump in her neck is where they will do the biopsy from however their concern is that there is something showing up on the ct scan that they are concerned about in her lungs and basically the biopsy will tell us if its related to the lungs issue.  They have prepared us for the worst, which is lung cancer (my mum has never smoked) although have advised there is a million and one other things it could be. 

I only found out about the biopsy and seriousness of the situation yesterday.  I am finding it hard to stay positive especially since my ex husband lost his mum to lung cancer and the symptoms are identical.  My ex's mum was diagnosed and then died 5 weeks later, although she was a smoker so that may have contributed to the severity of it.  I am so confused and all I can think is theres just no way that this can happen to my mum! She is being so brave but I can see it in her face that she is terrified.  She was over telling me and my brother and husband to be about this yesterday and then she was talking about the wedding (which is 6 weeks on saturday by the way) and she was saying she was so sorry to burst my bubble - but of course, I wasn't thinking that! I just want her to be ok but  I cant stop thinking about losing my mum. 

My mum actually works in the same place as me and her manager knows about it but I have been asked not to say anything until we know the severity of the issue.  I asked my manager this morning (a different manager from hers) to have the day off on friday to go to the hospital with her (when she gets the results) but I just burst out crying! I didnt tell her what was wrong, just that she wasnt well and I needed to be there, which she understood.

I dont think there is anything anyone can say to make me feel better but I just really needed to get all that out image

Posts

  • image Really sorry to hear your mum and your family is having to go through this - I have no words of wisdom but didn't want to read and run xx

  • SarahL1408SarahL1408 Posts: 154

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. 

    I know the doctors have prepared you for the worst but also bear in mind that it might not be.  I say that because I was really ill last year with lumps all over my neck and I had to have so many tests etc and because I was young, I was suspected of having Lymphoma.  Thankfully, it wasn't, but they had prepared me for it.  So it might actually be good news when you get the results back.  The people around me actually struggled with this the most - so I know how you must feel.

    Even if it is bad news, there is so so much more treatment about now and it sounds as though your mum has acted quickly which again is a massive help. 

    I hope this will make you feel a little better.  Fingers crossed for some good news for your mum, keep us updated.

    x

  • JulyBugJulyBug Posts: 420

    You poor thing, that is just awful. The one thing I'd say is listen to SarahL above - at the moment, you are thinking about all of the possibilities of things that it could be but it might not turn out to be any of those. It's good that you know and can help to support your Mum but try your best not to consider all of the consequences until you know what her diagnosis is...you can then face whatever it is together with the support of all of your family. I really hope you hear something soon and it's not serious. x

  • MrsCorey2BMrsCorey2B Posts: 143

    Thanks for replying.  I know what you are saying is right but I feel like I can't shut my brain off! The biopsy is Wednesday and the consultant said they would rush through the results for Friday so we will know by then.

    Thanks again.

  • CDF2014CDF2014 Posts: 35

    I'm so sorry to hear what you your mum and your family are going through, the waiting must be awful. I really hope you get some positive news and will be thinking of you. xxx

  • Angie jAngie j Posts: 448

    So sorry to hear your mum is not well, I do hope its not as bad as you think right now. Sending lots of luck for the results on Friday xx

  • Rachel 14Rachel 14 Posts: 232

    Sorry to hear about your mum,  but don't underestimate the power of positivity! 

    If your mum wants to talk about wedding stuff, it might be to take her mind off things and give her something to look forward too. People can overcome major illnesses if they have good reason!! 

    Also as others have said, doctors would prefer to prepare you for the worst, and then give you good news then have you thinking it's nothing an dropping a bombshell!! 

    Good luck to you and your mum. Xxx 

  • MrsCorey2BMrsCorey2B Posts: 143

    Hi everyone

    So after what felt like a lifetime, we got the results of the biopsy yesterday.  They have confirmed that there is cancer cells and is "most likely" coming from the lung.  They have sent her biopsy to a specialist yesterday and they will have full results to be able to give her treatment.  They said that she is a very unusual case due to her age (only 52) and the fact that she has NEVER smoked and general good health.  The consultant said that once they have all the details next Friday they can start chemotherapy.

    To be honest I don't really think this has sunk in yet.  Since I found out 10 days ago, I have been very upset at times but since getting more news yesterday, ive hardly shed a single tear.  I dont know how I'm supposed to feel.  Mum and dad were supposed to go on 2 week holiday last saturday but they decided not to go.  They are going today, just up north so they arent far.  Me and my H2B are going up on saturday after my work to join them for a night, which they were quite excited about. 

     I really hope my mum is well on my wedding day.  I know it means a lot to her (and me and obviously the rest of the family).  I know how much toll chemotherapy has on the body. 

    I am getting married in 5 weeks on Saturday.  I still have lots to do, I can't focus image

  • HydrogirlHydrogirl Posts: 809

    im so sorry you are going through this! my husband has went through chemo rounds 3 different times in his life and each time although it was horrible and very weakening it worked! please keep some hope! it sounds silly but make lots of good memories now including the wedding and start taking more photos - as a 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst' x

    due to ur mum never smoking and being in good health would indicate she has a better chance of pulling through x

  • Spam88Spam88 Posts: 1,001

    Really sorry to hear this MrsCorey2B.  Can't imaging how you must all be feeling.  But it's important that you all stay positive image  As you say, your Mum is young and healthy so she's got the strength to fight this.

  • Miaow8690Miaow8690 Posts: 298

    Hi there,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum.
    My step-dad has just come back from hospital having had chemo for bone marrow cancer. The treatment is to slow the disease progression, not to cure it. It sucks and sometimes you just can't cope.

    That's ok.

    Don't feel like a failure or selfish or anything else because sometimes you need to take a day off and cry. Everyone needs time to deal.

    But don't let it run your life. Keep the relationship between you normal - your mum wouldn't want you to change or start treating her differently. Just carry on, make sure you have time for each other, and keep having the good relationship that you clearly have. There are some things you cannot change, such as how the disease progresses. But you can change how each day pans out.

    It's a cliché, but it's not counting the days, it's the days that count.

  • MrsCorey2BMrsCorey2B Posts: 143

    Miaow8690 I love that last line!  I've never heard that before but you are so right!

    I am doing much better now and we will find out much more details by the end of this week and then her treatment can start.

    We have already had some great days since finding out - really trying to make the best of it.  Trying to concentrate on the wedding aswell and getting mum over on saturday to help me with some DIY wedding decorations as I now have all the stuff I need.

    Thanks for all the comments.  I cant believe its actually happening but chin up - will savour every moment with her xx

Sign In or Register to comment.