Family messing me around with days to go until the wedding!

Just need a bit of a rant! I'm getting married on Wednesday 6th August. I have some family in London, not really close but keep in touch on Facebook. Invited them to my wedding last year and they said they'd be there, to be honest I only really invited them to be polite, I didn't actually think they'd come. Nothing has changed and they've been talking about the wedding to me and then about 2 weeks ago one of them (the mum) said she couldn't make it anymore as she is moving house. So I thought maybe one of the other guests (her grown up daughter) would be bringing her husband to replace her mums place. So I messaged them the other day to check if he was coming and things so I could add him to the table plan, only for her to message back on Friday 1st August (5 days before the wedding) saying she doesn't  think any of them will be coming any more, but will let me know by the weekend image Now that annoyed be because;

A. I don't know if she would have even told me if I hadn't messaged her first.

B. It was  5 days until the wedding when she told me!!

C: We've already paid for their places so will be losing a couple of hundred pound if they don't come!!!

D: There was people I would have rather have had there than them, especially if I had of knew they were going to let me down aswell.

So I've messaged her today on Facebook just saying sorry to harass her but I need to know by the end of today if they can make it or not and I explained we've already paid for them to be there (so if they're not coming we will need to try and fill their places so we don't lose the money). She has been on Facebook and is currently uploading pictures and commenting on stuff but hasn't read or replied to my message!!

Am I right to be pissed off or am I being a bridezilla?!?! If they don't come its leaving me with 3 spaces to fill before Wednesday or lose the money! 

What should I do if she doesn't message back by tomorrow?

Do you think venue would refund for the missing guests? (I know its a longshot)


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  • SheandHimSheandHim Posts: 379

    Contact them as soon as they don't get back to you tomorrow and say that you're going to have to make the decision for them and say that they can't come. If it's going to cost you money then you have to bump them, if they're being this shitty then you have to do something about it. 

  • nov22nov22 Posts: 27

    You have given them a deadline to respond, if they haven't responded, you are within your rights to make other arrangements for the extra seats. Like you say, if you have other people you wanted to come, this would be their oppertunity to attend.

    All part of planning a wedding im afraid, something which im not looking forward to in the next couple of months! image xx

  • naomi5naomi5 Posts: 4

    Don't let people that aren't that bothered or important to ruin your day......them being there wont make any difference. What is important is you and your groom ,even if nobody else was there.   It's probably better that they don't attend now cos you're pissed off with them.  I agree, everyone knows it costs a bomb to invite people so they should have been honoured for the invite but instead have been bad mannered and rude in not letting you know if they will attend.  Future brides.....only invite the really important people to you....they will show up.  It's your wedding, don't invite anyone if you don't want to.

  • MrsMJr2014MrsMJr2014 Posts: 229

    My so-called best friend did this to me with three days to go.  Table plan was done, her and her daughter's places were paid for and due to the short notice we couldn't get anyone else to fill their places.  We just had to accept there was nothing we could do.  I haven't spoken to her since, she caused SO much stress that I don't want anything to do with her.

    Sorry you're having to go through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone!  Best of luck xxx

  • No you're not a bridezilla, I'd be royally pissed off if I were you too.

    Its just downright rude not to let someone know if you can't make it to their wedding.

    Even if something has come up and they can't make it they should've had the decency to give you a call to tell you rather than wait until you rang them.

    In terms of the cost I think as the others have said, the venue probably won't refund you as they've probably already allocated the staff and food etc.

    Is there anyone you could invite in their place ( I know it could be a little awkward this close to the wedding) maybe someone who is already coming but you didn't invite with a plus one.

    Good luck and don't let it worry you. Hope you have a fantastic wedding day.


  • JSCJSC Posts: 60

    Hope it all goes ok today!

    One of my best friends also let me down and cancelled being our witness by text - like you we still are not speaking....

    I had several family members (siblings) not attend either and likewise for my hubby too.

    Weddings always have a few hiccups / casualties!!


  • I got married on the 6th of August too! We had my husband's brother - who was also a groomsman, his wife and daughter, wife's mother and wife's brother all decide they weren't coming the day before the wedding!! luckily we had some evening guests who weren't doing anything during the day so they took their seats and to be honest they weren't really missed, I'm not a big fan of his wife anyways so I'm using it as an excuse to never speak to her again lol

    Hope all that drama didn't get to you too much and you had a perfect day!x

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