so dissappointed that it had ended up like this...
I'm not really sure where to start...
I have a large social circle in the city where I live that has been close for about 8 years now, since I first moved there. For several years I had a partner who was also part of that group. We broke up and for a while things were very tense, our breakup was very painful and sort of dragged on. It was not made easier by the fact that we had a lot of mutual friends. The situation was really affecting me and I chose to go travelling for nearly 18 months. I just neededsome space and a chance to gain perspective and heal.
I have since come back and I am in the process of rebuilding my life and reconnecting with old friends, all of whom I made the effort to stay in touch with online while I was away.
I have been feeling really happy and positive and more like my old self again but things are starting to rear their ugly head again. I saw my ex while I was out and about and although he was friendly he afterwards messaged me to say that he was still struggling and need space and that he wasn't ready for us all to be friends again. I accepted this and simply said that I was excited to see people again after being away so long.
Anyway I saw two close friends at another friends birthday and was chatting away to them, they had got engaged while I was away. I was so happy for them, they started seeing each at the same time i was with my partner and we spent a lot of time together. holidays, birthdays, dinners out we saw each other all the time. Anyway the bride is excitedly telling me all about the proposal and showing me the ringe and generally being all girly and chatting about it.
I then heard nothing for weeks apart from my ex mentioning that he was best man. I was genuinely happy for him and was surprised that the groom hadn't mentioned it when i saw him. My ex then sort of accusingly asked when I had seen them?
Anyway I am looking on facebook and i can see that all the save the date cards have been sent out and and people are posting up little thanks yous etc. practically everyone from that social circle is invited ....I am then out at a party and unfortunately we are all rather drunk and my two best friend start talking about how she made all the save the date cards and then started gushing away about it. As I hadn't received one but I had only recently got back I sort of enquired if there had been one for me?
And the said no...
I was so devastated I burst into tears (drunk and emotional)...I had sort of dreaded this happening. I was so sad that I was going to not be able to see their happy day and the culmination of an 8 year relationship that I had watch grow and flourish.
I wasn't sad that I hadn't got an invite but I was horrible heartbroken as to the reason why- which was that my ex was going to be best man and obviously they felt that my presence would cause tension.
I just felt like i had tried so hard to smoth things over, make ammends and have a fresh start and yet within a month of being back old hurts and resentments were coming at me again. I have often been snubbed and left out of things in the past and it hurt then bu i was so hoping that now things would be easier.
I messaged my ex and told him that i was very hurt to not be invited and as to he reasons why...he sais that i had not been here and that i was not such good friends with them and that i should try to build bridges by arranging to meet up with them. he claimed that he had never said that he didn't want them to see me.
For all this may be true in the past he has refused to speak to me and told other friends that me being around is too much for him to deal with...i wouldn't mind but we split up 2.5 years ago. i really feel that this should be in the past. I wouldn't mind be ultimately