We cant have a 'marriage'


So basically, after months of chasing our registrar, and being constantly told that they were not available, on holiday, or would call us back. Finally, we got through to someone yesterday, who told us that we cannot legally get married on the 19th September as we have not given enough notice.

HOWEVER, this was never discussed with us beforehand, and after all the issues with the registrar, I do not think this is very fair and in ways, not our fault.

I just feel so drained, and am seeing the wedding as 'no point' now. I mean, in my mind, what is the point of having a wedding without something legally binding to prove it?

I suppose our only other option is to have a commitment ceremony, but with only 16 days to go, we need to write AND find somebody to perform the ceremony. So I suppose another question is, does anybody know of any good celebrants in the Hampshire area?




  • TadpoleTadpole Posts: 2,134 New bride

    That absolutely sucks!!! My recommendation would be to see whether you can find a Humanist to help you out - we had a Humanist ceremony as they are legally binding in Scotland and it was beautiful - everyone commented on what a personal service we had. Know it seems like 16 days isn't a long time but they will help you loads. We had to write our history story (you could probably use a lot of your history story from your planning thread for that) then we wrote vows - but adapted a lot of the standard ones they gave us to look over - and we had to come up with three reasons why we love each other and that was it all done. I've still got the file with all the vows and pledges of committment - I can email it to you if that helps?



  • If you've got 16 days t. Go, if they can fit you in to give notice today you could still do it. You need 14 days if I'm right x x 

  • Hi there.


    We are using http://www.specialceremonies.co.uk/ they are husband and wife and either of them can do the ceremonies. they do things like ring ceremony, hand fasting (tying the knot), jumping the broom, celtic loving cup and unity candle ceremonies. We saw them do example ceremoinies and they are very good and reasonably priced!!

    Good luck x

  • BekhaGBekhaG Posts: 586 New bride

    Good luck getting something sorted x

  • Yes, it was my understanding it's at least 2 weeks. I hope you get it sorted x

  • KK12KK12 Posts: 927

    There's lots of celebrants if you Google them!

    I'm a bit puzzled as to how you've not been able to track down the registrar though that's really bad, hopefully you will be able to get something sorted out.

    At one stage I was considering having a celebrant do a commitment ceremony if I didn't get my decree absolute in time (difficult ex and divorce) and we made a plan B  but we were ok and get the divorce in time - good luck! x

  • Oh no! image I have no suggestions, other than what PP have advised. Good luck!

  • This is the info from the official site, you give notice at your local registry office - surely if you've beem chasing them you've given enough notice?? Why didn't they get back to you?? 


    *For most marriages or civil partnerships you must give at least 16 days’ notice at your local register office.*

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