Feeling stressed and gaining weight
I'm just needing a bit of a rant about this. After getting engaged managed to lose over 1.5 stone and I still wanted to loose another stone. I had gotten to the stage where I felt really good about myself and felt like I could wear what I liked and looked good, a feeling I haven't had in years!
I'm a teacher in one of the poorest areas in Europe where there are a lot of social problems so I have always taught challenging children but this year I have been given the most challenging class I have ever faced. A teacher has left the school after being physically assaulted and another has left teaching altogether due to having to teach this class. It's incredibly hard work but I feel like I am just about managing day-to-day. The thing is, at the end of each day I am KNACKERED, physically and mentally! But because of the behaviour and learning needs of this class, I need to be prepared up to my eyeballs and everything needs to be tailored specifically to them so I can't just borrow plans from other teachers or use lessons I get online without editing them, I have always done this anyway but because of the needs of this class it takes me far longer. As well as this, I've got all the usual paperwork to keep on top of and marking. Every night I come home from school (after already staying late), have my dinner and get back on the computer and keep working til I go to bed.
I have ended up just binging on junk food while I'm working. Literally eating pizzas, huge bags of crisps, big bags of chocolate and cakes all in one night. FI works nightshifts so wasn't noticing at first but he's starting to now. I have ended up putting a stone back on in the last few weeks! I used to have an eating disorder, although I am binging I haven't made myself sick at all yet which is one good thing at least, but eating has always been how I have dealt with stress and I feel like I am just losing control.
I am due to go try on my wedding dress again tomorrow and I am dreading it because I really think I'll feel huge and horrible in it. The wedding is next summer so I have time to lose the weight again, but I don't know how I'll be able to do it with this class and the stress and level of work I have to do with them.