My two sisters are going to be my bridesmaids. My younger sister is my maid of honour and my older sister a bridesmaid.
My younger sister has been an absolute breeze. She has been happy, supportive and involved with everything right from the start and is more than happy to be involved with everything too. My older sister, is being a complete nightmare. She has argued with me about absolutely everything so far.
Apart from the dresses, which I made sure both of my sisters were happy about, I have let them choose everything else themselves and I have paid for it all.
Even though they have free choice of what they want and I will pay for everything they want and/or need, my older sister keeps arguing with me about everything.
She has said things like "I will not be your bridesmaid or even come to your wedding if I have to wear ugly shoes" and has stated that she hates weddings and is sick of them.
She has argued with me about the makeup artist and the hair dresser, claiming they are both rubbish, when actually they're both very highly credited in their fields of work and have absolutely amazing reviews and their photos are faultless.
She has argued with me about our photographer and the coaches, even though both have absolutely nothing to do with her at all.
She has even argued with me about not wanting to stay over at the venue, when I told her she didn't have to if she didn't want to.
The list honestly, goes on and on and on.
I don't talk to her about anything wedding related anymore and haven't for about 3 or 4 weeks after our engagement. I assumed that maybe the issue was just me bugging her by talking about it too much for the first few weeks of our engagement. But still, months later and every time I see her or we talk, she will bring something up, and always in an aggressive manner, and argue with me even if there is nothing to argue about.
It's gotten to the final stages of our planning now. I have been considering lately, to ask her to not be a bridesmaid. She is making everything so hard on everyone, not just me. She has fallen out with my younger sister recently too because she didn't defend her when she was arguing with me about whether or not they should stay at the venue the night of our wedding (I told them there was a room for them if they wanted it, but if not, we wouldn't mind). I am already so stressed out with the planning (having some issues with our venue, minister and a supplier), and have a million other things to be doing and she is just making everything worse.
She got my Mum involved the other day. My Mum ended up falling out with me because my sister lied to her about an argument about makeup. My younger sister had to set the record straight with my Mum before my Mum would even talk to me again.
If I asked my sister to not be a bridesmaid, I think it would probably cause my Mum to fall out with me too. So I basically feel like I just can't win.
But I really don't think she is handling it very well at all, and has absolutely no interest whatsoever in actually being part of our day. I have asked if there was something going on, but she swears there isn't then accuses me of not taking her "concerns" seriously. She's right though, I don't. I can't understand why I would take the "not being a bridesmaid if she has to wear ugly shoes" comment seriously. She can have whatever she wants so I don't even understand how that was an issue in the first place.
Does anyone have any advice for me or anyone had to deal with anything similar? If so, what did you do?