Stressed out over bridesmaids

Hi I have a problem with choosing my bridesmaids. I have been married before and almost as soon as I got engaged (the first time) I asked my best friend of 18 years to be my bridesmaid. Unfortunately she said no image I was really hurt and to be honest a little embarrassed as I felt she ovoiusly didn't value our friendship as much as I did. I ended up not having any bridesmaids at all.

Anyway now I am getting married again and I am terrified of the same thing happening. I have three close friends that I really want to ask but I just cant bring myself to. The whole thing is really stressing me out and I just don't know what to do.



  • Cant understand why someone would say no but hey ho.... If you cant find the words...why not find a novel way of asking...with a special card or token... Make a little video for each one tell them how Much you value them and ask them to stand by you on this important day

  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    What reason did she give for saying no?

  • She said it was because her boyfriend would have felt uncomfortable as he didn't know anyone at the wedding.  As it happened she only stayed for the ceremony as he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening :/

  • I said no when my sister got married as i didn't feel I needed to be a bridesmaid to support her on her big day. Nor do I like fuss, and quite frankly it was actually difficult for me to commit time to her to go dress shopping etc.  So I can understand people saying no, and I'm not bothering at all with them for very similar reasons-I just don't really see the need/point of them.

    i know my views are not the norm, but just throwing it out there.

  • ICW2014ICW2014 Posts: 111

    I understand it must be really tough, having been turned down before, to get the courage up to ask others to be your bridesmaid. I would suggest maybe with your friends bringing up the topic of bridesmaids, and mentioning that the last time you asked someone they turned you down, so you don't really know what to do about bridesmaids this time aeound. I would imagine that if they are your real, true friends, they will say 'well if you asked me I would never do that!'. This could give you their answer! 

    Also, I know it's difficult but the original person who said no really doesn't sound like she was a very good friend- leaving your wedding reception to go out with her boyfriend sounds like she was pretty selfish. So hopefully your friends now will be better! 

    Good of luck with it, and remember that at the end of the day you are marrying the love of your life and your best friend- he will be at the end of the aisle regardless of whether your friends are beside you or not. 


  • RubyCatRubyCat Posts: 272 New bride

    Ah right, it sounds like she's one of those people who gets a boyfriend and ditches her friends. I wouldn't let that put you off asking the other three

  • I really don't understand why your friend said no when you ask her to be your bridesmaid.Did she tell you the reason later?I can understand your feeling!Don't worry,ask your three other friends to see if they want to be your bridesmaids!

  • Do NOT worry, ask your three other friends to see if they want to be your bridesmaids with the "will you be my bridesmaid" box. See the details here

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