Maid of Honor really upsetting me

I had issues with my best friend being my maid of Honor from the start. I had to wait on her terms before I order the bridesmaids dresses from America whether she wanted to be a bridesmaid or not as she has an issue with her weight. She then decided she wants to be my maid of Honor & organises a surprise hen weekend. So I thought she's now stepping up & isn't going to be award anymore. I've accidently found out my hen weekend is in dublin my dad slipped up but I'm still pretending I don't know. But my sister then asked my best friend has she any hen game bits etc. Then my best friend said no as she don't like doing anything like that & hasn't arranged anything or even bought a veil for me to wear as she said she's too busy working two days a week & has one child. Where me & my sister work full time & have two kids.  But we still have time to do stuff. So my sister is fuming & has sorted stuff out & got games & stuff to do. All my best friend has done is arrange the hotel & that's it. My friends have sorted out the flights. Then when the dresses arrived my moh really likes hers & feels comfortable so that was good but trying to arranged a date to book in for alterations was a nightmare she was making up every excuse not to go. So then I sat down with her & asked her please tell me if you don't want to be my moh or a bridesmaid but she said don't be silly you have been my best friend since infant school I wouldn't want to not be apart of it. Now she has told me yesterday that she normally starts her period on the 4th of every month. I'm getting married on the 2nd April.  She now has said she came on the 1st Jan & if she comes on before my wedding day she cannot wear the dress! So basically I would have to see if she would let me down a day before my wedding when I have paid for her dress, flowers, shoes, jewellery. Then she said she might be able to still wear the dress if she comes on but take it off after the photographs after the ceremony. I just don't know what to do she's upsetting me so much. She is meant to be my best friend but wants everything her way.

Posts

  • VictoriaoVictoriao Posts: 1,536

    The only way to stop this is to make the decision yourself. It seems she is happy to leave you in limbo but this is your wedding. I think you need to make the decision for her either way and explain to her how much stress this is causing you. You must remember the day is about you and not her!

  • sooz84sooz84 Posts: 378

    She sounds ridiculous.

    I'm guessing you've not asked her to wear a dress where you can see her [email protected]! Sorry for being crude but what a crazy excuse image It sounds like she's just being really selfish to be honest and putting you in an awkward position. She should be doing everything and anything she can to make sure you don't have any stress or worry and she is doing the opposite.

    I think Victoriao is right, you'll have to have a frank discussion with her about how much stress she is causing you otherwise it'll get out of control image

  • Tell her to go to the docs and she can get her period delayed.. wonder what her next excuse would be.. 

    I agree with the others, you need to talk to her and put a stop to her behaviour now before it gets out of control x

  • Mrs K!!Mrs K!! Posts: 664

    agree with all the above!

    what a nightmare!xx

  • why on earth would having your period stop you from wearing a dress? 

  • Alex5Alex5 Posts: 290

    Yeh the docs can give u tablets to delay it, people have it for when they go on hols. Bet she'd then come up with something else ludicrous! I understand the anxiousness of an "accident" but wear a tampon AND a pad and go to the toilet frequently...how she function in everyday life? Does she sit in the bath for 5 days a month? image

  • I'm getting married on the 4th April and my period usually arrives around that time...I'm not that regular but it generally is the 1st week in the month. Because of this I'm also going to the GP to get some tablets to delay my period both for my wedding and for my honeymoon which is 31st August for 2 weeks. If her period really is so life stopping I can't see why she can't do this. Or is she on the pill? She can just take 2 packs consecutively to stop her period for that month?

  • Anna22Anna22 Posts: 157

    Sorry, she sounds like a right pain.  Why are you dancing around her feelings, is this normally the dynamic between you two?

    "I'm getting married on the 2nd April.  She now has said she came on the 1st Jan & if she comes on before my wedding day she cannot wear the dress!"

     

    In your position, I'd be strongly tempted to say - "I'm so sorry to hear that your health issues affect you so strongly. I understand that this means you won't be able to be MOH on the day given your concerns about the dress but I would still love you to attend the wedding."  or words to that effect...

     

  • I understand how upset you are now. Is she really your best friend. I think she has issue with your friendship not that she's making you really upset on your wedding preparation. Talk to her frankly so you would know the next thing to do.

  • I asked my best friend to be my MOH and she was thrilled - started researching her duties and everything. I asked her last November and 3 months later, she hasn't actually helped me with planning whatsoever. I'm quite lucky that my fiancé is so excited about planning that we've just decided to do it together and have it as a surprise for everyone. So much easier! He even booked us both tickets to the National Wedding Show - that's how it should be! x 

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